Well, you were half right-most of our body heat DOES escape through your head, from what I understand.
Hampshire, my cousins and I used to use our Gramma’s clothesline as sort of a combination swing/catapault-we’d pull it down, sit on it, and then let go, springing forth into a run. We thought that was hysterical.
I also used to think that we lived in the planet not on it. This was before I knew anything about the atomosphere. I mean, after all, the surface of the earth is exposed to space and you can’t live in space.
In 3rd grade we were all gathered into the cafeteria to watch the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger. I was too young to fully grasp the tragedy of the situation, I was just trying to figure out how the space shuttle could take off through the earth and get into space. That’s when I figured out that we did indeed live on the surface.
When I was in third grade, I finally got to eat lunch in the Big Boys’ cafeteria, for us manly men of grades 3-6, instead of the ridiculous baby cafeteria for those losers in kindergarten and first and second grade.
I always sat in the same spot, at the same table, facing the same wall.
On days when it was raining heavily and we couldn’t go outside for recess, we’d all eat our lunch and then we’d “watch a movie.”
I put “watch a movie” in quotes, because it didn’t really seem like a movie to me. I mean, I could hear the characters talking and sound effects and music and so forth, but it all seemed to be coming from an annoying little box with a bright light on the front that sometimes changed colors, not a TV. But no matter, I could follow the story just fine by listening to it.
Some months later, the New Kid committed a serious faux pas and sat in my seat in the cafeteria! I was willing to let it slide – this time – and took a seat facing the opposite direction. It was only then that I realized that I had been staring at the video projector all this time.
I have to admit I was far too old to try to wrap my tongue in saran wrap so I dind’t have to tasty the icky medicine my mother made me take. It made sense - cover the tastebuds and you wouldn’t taste the medicine. I nearly choked to death on the plastic wrap. Shortly after that I just started pouring the medicine down the drain, a teaspoonful at a time.
StG
brewha, my little sister thought exactly the same thing - and that all you had to do to get to Australia was point the plane up, and cross the inside of the world.
Me, when I was about four or five, we were always being told on PSAs “don’t cross the street between parked cars”. But never why we shouldn’t do it.
I remember being really annoyed about the lack of a supplied reason, so I carried on doing it until someone told me why. For a good couple of years until I asked my Dad. Amazing I survived.
Ha! Same here – I couldn’t understand why they bothered with that extra step. Since they were obviously thinking everything in English, why didn’t they just say in English too??
Winner! Fricking hillarious…
Why wait for snow?
My sister, on a sisterly lark decided to enter one of our cats in the county fair cat show. It was very small scale, mostly an opportunity for kids to show off their cats. Well, I wanted to help, so I decided to give our beautiful siamese a cat a bit of a trim (I was probably about 8 at the time). I honestly thought I was helping,you know snipping some offending bits of protruding hair here and there. Needless to say, I am not a professional cat groomer and the cat looked, well, bad. I didn’t do anything as stupid as create bald patches, but there was definite look shorter hair next to longer hair, just very weird looking. Well my sister was very upset, my folks were very upset and all the time I was 'I just wanted to help!"
A far as I can remember I always knew that the difference between boys and girls was the boys had a “dinghy” and girls didn’t. Which off course meant that girls were blank down there and that they peed out of their assholes (why else couldn’t they pee standing up). To add to that when I was really young I saw the episode of ST:TNG where Troi gets pregnant and gave birth in what I thought was a chair.
After hearing the story of Little Sambo when I was like 6 or something, my friend and I decided that we would run around in circles like the tigers in that story until we turned into butter. We were very keen on this idea. For about three days straight, we ran in circles, barefoot on her Grandma’s front lawn, stopping once in awhile to chug a glass of water so we would become extra creamy butter. The yellow grass stains in our feet convinced us we were on the right track and the change was, albeit slowly, taking place.
Why I wanted to be butter so badly is beyond me. Pretty disturbing now, if kind of cute.
My now-fiancee and her friend spent a summer digging up and sifting an entire baseball diamond with seives they’d made by punching holes in foil pie plates. They were looking for gold. (They’d heard “digging for gold” and thought it meant you could dig for gold anywhere and get results).
When I was young, I always thought that the pulp mill in our town was a “pop” mill, manufacturing soda pop. I don’t know what kind of funky flavour I thought made that horrible rotten egg smell, though.
When I was young (under 10) my sister did something to me that really pissed me off that I don’t remember now. To get back at her and inflict some pain I got a hold of a pencil compass that was lying near by. It was my full intent to use the “non-pointy” side of the compass to strike her arm and hopefully scratch her. However, in my heated state of rage I accidentaly used the actual pointed metal end and ended up stabbing her in the arm.
She screamed bloody murder and I remember looking down at the compass in my hand and observing my miscalculation. I don’t know if I knew profanity at age 7 but I do vaguely remember the phrase “aww fuck” enter my head.
I remember chasing after her with the weapon in hand as she ran bawling to my parents so I could try to explain my actual intent. Of course she thought I was chasing her to stab her again.
They really weren’t interested in my side of the story. I suprised they didn’t have me sent away at that point.
Even now 30 years later my sister brings it up at social events about how I “stabbed” her visciously with a pencil compass. And even now people aren’t too interested in my side of the story usually because they are laughing too hard.
I used to believe that peanut butter was made in a factory where thousands of people sat chewing peanuts and spitting them into the jars.
LOL
Ohhh that is so gross! How could you eat it, thinking that?
Well, so much for my lunch.
:: heads to cafe for alternative ::
You know, it never consciously occured to me until this very minute… but I think I thought this, too.
I remember my little brother telling me once that he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have sex until he was 30. He didn’t want to have kids until he was 30 and since you have a baby every time you have sex he would obviously have to wait a long time.
When I was in like 1st or 2nd grade I swore there was a 12 o’clock in the morning, a 12 o’clock at lunch time (noon), and a 12 o’clock in the evening.
My older brother happened to have his birthday later in the year than mine. I just couldn’t understand why he was older if he CLEARLY had his birthday after mine. The rest of my inmediate family had their birthdays in the proper order, of course. Well, not my father, but adults don’t count, do they?
And my parents used to tell us that if we didn’t eat breakfast we couldn’t have breakfast until the other day. However, when they told ME that I almost bawled my eyes out. They simply couldn’t calm me down with assurances of lunch and dinner coming up in between… :smack:
