Just in time for the festive seasons, I have ‘upgraded’ myself to the Crowbar of Irony +3. Less of the chopping, more of the blunt damage 
I like your new name, even if it took me a few seconds to get it.
Brilliant.
What do you do on a critical strike?
Swings real hard and runs to first?
Make people think more about the world, I hope!
's better than -2 monkey wrench of shame