Inspired by this thread, and the unreadable article of its fancy, I want you Dopers to create a religion based on this flying spaghetti monster. I need explanations for:
[ul]
- When humans came into being
- When other lifeforms came into being
- How the progression of creation/evolution of lifeforms went
- Laws and punishments for breaking them
- How to get ‘back in the right’ after breaking those laws
- How to pray
- When to pray
- What to eat and what not to eat
- What we tell the kids when they ask why they can’t see him
- The flying spaghetti monster’s gender or lack thereof
- The benefits of believing
- The penalties of not believing
- Views on non-believers
- Views on specific religions (try not to get too Pitty!)
- Views on government and human law
- Views on war
[/ul]
And anything else you can think of. Have at it! Cover one of the points, all of them, none of them, any combination thereof, as many different times and from as many different ways as you fancy.