Create your own Norse epic poem

The Angles, Saxons, Jutes, and other Norse peoples had their own poetic form, which relied on rhythm and alliteration rather than rhyming. Thus:

Beowulf boasted, “Brothers of Bjorn,
Foes have I fought, and fiercely they fell.
Here, now, in Heorot, heroes must harken:
Grim is old Grendel, and gory his grasp.”

And so forth. It’s a form well-suited to chanting by a bard as the thane’s warriors and dependents cluster about the hearthfire.

The challenge to you? Write your own epic in that form. Better yet, pick up where the previous poster has gone, and continue the saga, with one, two, three – as many lines as you like. Even more fun, work in any Doper names that you can.

I’ll start it:

ETF offered: "Authors of epics,
Join in my japery; jump into jest!
Savants of Cecil, set forth in service
To poem’s progression. Perchance to appeal
To quirky, creative companions inquisitive:
What will the next one write, rhythmic in rise?

Ruinous was RedFury’s ravage of wringland;
Evil the efforts to end all dissent.
Lobsang, the lord of the lands lying closest
Led forth his forces to fight the fierce foe.

A Norse is a Norse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a Norse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Woden, Lord of the Hanged.

Go right to the source and ask the Norse
He’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s always on a steady course.
Make sacrifice to mighty Woden.

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Woden One-Eye will never speak unless Ragnarok is nigh.

A Norse is a Norse, of course, of course,
And this one’ll prophesy 'til his voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking Norse?

Well listen to this.

“Fimbulwinter is upon us, and Asgaard is doomed!”
You were begging for this one, Eddy! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

but Lobsang land has fallen
to the forces of BBigDaiv
“his country is mine” gloated the victor above
much partying did happen upon that night

but that night as D slept,
the watch that his guard kept
was ended by use of a large crossbow
BigDaiv’s bedroom was invaded by LobSon

out for revenge LobSon
did defend his father’s (mother’s? sorry if im wrong)
lost honour and reclaimed his land

Hmph. No need to shout at me (pout).

Okay, you’ve had your fun – now where’s your part of the saga, smartypants? :stuck_out_tongue:

Bosda the Bumbler bartered his booty
For trinkets and tawdry trash for his trailer.
Fool! Did he fancy to flummox the founder?
Catlady queen shall not cut him that slack!

Harries in Horseflesh, hot for a flight
Straps Bosda to back and then boots steed to bolt.
Miscreant moans then, meeting his Maker;
Avenged is the Edwoman, evil o’erthrown!

Well I’m afraid we’re having a little trouble getting this very exciting Icelandic saga started. If any of you at home have any ideas about how to get this exciting saga started again here’s the address to write to:

Help the Exciting Icelandic Saga
18b MacNorten Buildings

Poor poets imperil our pretentious piece?
Alliteration eludes the elite of all Dope?
Nay, never not while Andy is noodling.
Scrivening Scandinavian scribblings and screeds.