CANNIBALISM IN RACHMANISTAN!
Once I noted that it seems kind of silly to point out that most wars take place in countries Americans have never heard of, since that includes pretty much every country except that one that Cancun is in. Somebody suggested, "Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to make up some fake country and cry about the terrible war there?
So we made up a fictitious country called Rachmanistan, somewhere in the former Soviet Union. Unfortunately, this country was beset by a bunch of nasty mercenaries supported by a (fictitious) giant corporation in Belgium. The gist of the urban legend was that you were supposed to boycott all the products supposedly owned by this corporate baddy. We were going to spread the rumor by email to our impressionable acquaintances (the crop-circle crowd), but we never got around to it.
Reading this thread got me thinking about all the nasty problems in Rachmanistan, and I’ve learned that cannibalism is included! That’s right. It has become a secret Hollywood fad to go on a strict vegetarian diet - that is, a diet consisting strictly of vegetarians. Since Rachmanistan has a large number of vegetarians, and since in wartime nobody is going to miss a few disappeared civilians, it was a natural choice.
So certain movie stars (fill in the names of your choice here), are importing “specialized foodstuffs” from the Rachmanistan region, which in reality are dead humans! Evil Freedonian and Paradoran mercenaries travel to the region, kill all the children and young women (valued for their flavor) in a village, and sell them to cooks in neighboring Mortistan, where they are prepared and preserved for sale to American celebrities. It is rumored that a complete side of person is valued at up to $15,000 in Beverly Hills, where it is consumed greedily by vegetarianarians at “long pork orgies”.
Feel free to distribute this as much as you want.