Walk into a biker bar, pat the biggest, meanest guy you can find on the back, and say “Hey…aren’t you Richard Simmons?”
Mix acids and bases…in your stomach.
Steal an airplane, and buzz/joyride around the largest metropolitan area you can find, until the Air Force shows up. Extra points if you force the pilots to use guns.
Put on an anarchronistic uniform or costume, and let yourself freeze to death in some remote, icy wilderness. Like Antarctica, or the Andes.
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
–‘Resume’, Dorothy Parker
The latest from the great Maddox: How to kill yourself like a man…
I’d rent a brand new tuxedo, go down to Grand Central Terminal, and piss on the third rail.
This sort of reminded me of this bizarre suicide in England last year:
Gotta love that last line:
I think staging a stereotypical locked room murder mystery with a number of red herrings would be a bit of a lark. Ice-dagger in the bathtub. Something like that. 
My first thought was “malaria” - easily acquired on a trip to an exotic, tropical place and it can resurface years later. One of my current co-workers like exotic vacations and has had a couple go-rounds with it (he’s now quite fanatical about innoculations and anti-malarials prior to these trips).
There’s probably a few others other there than could fit the bill.
Bungee-jumping with your own intestines. Picture an entire alimentary canal just swinging in the breeze…
I love it. For best effect: make yourself up to look like a caveman. Make a simple stone knife and a spear, kill some local fur-bearing animal, and make yourself a primitive garment. Then go out to a remote location and have an accomplice pour water over you until you’re frozen in a block of ice. With any luck, you could rewrite anthropological history.
Ice Man found: Crowns and Fillings Prove that Hunter Gatherer Tribe were Masters of Modern Dentistry.
There was a story not so long ago about the guy who set up a time-delayed guillotine in his apartment, and used it successfully.
I heard the story on the news segment on Howard Stern. They were idly wondering why he went to the trouble of setting up the time delay system. Howard concluded that the guy was showing off how smart he was. The elitist bastard! hehheh.
(I think he couldn’t handle consciously “flipping the switch”, and a time delay setup is an elegant workaround. But it was still a funny bit.)
The most bizarre suicide I ever heard of was a man who killed himself with an electric power drill. He drilled six holes into his head. You have to admire his perseverance; so many people would drill three or four times and decide it wasn’t going to work.
I remember hearing about that, but didn’t that guy live?
Cycle of a cliff with a plush-toy of ET in the basket of your bike á la this.
From TJay’s link.
“*“I find it quite incredible that websites like this which tell you how to commit suicide in so many different ways should be allowed to exist,” *”
snork
Thanks guys. I knew some diligent dopers would show up and flesh out my vague memory. 
I read somewhere that in a vacant lot in a large city (this could be an urban legend, now, so don’t quote me), a decomposed body was found.
Forensic pathologists tried to identify the person, and to establish the cause of death. The kid was Joe Blow, a teenager, who’d disappeared some month or two earlier. Cause of death was uncertain, but seemed to be related to a number of largish holes in the skull – each one about the size of a finger, more or less evenly spaced across the cranium. They weren’t bullet holes. What the hell?
Detectives finally patched together several other clues – shreds of aluminum foil with gunpowder residue, and a scattering of pennies – and figured it out.
Kid had taken a wad of aluminum foil full of pennies, and stuck an M-80 firecracker in it. He had then put the wad in his mouth… and lit the fuse. The blast sent the pennies rocketing through his skull in all directions.
I know, it sounds really unlikely, but when it comes to creative suicides, I’ve never been able to find one that sounded weirder…
You’ve never taken Tums or Maalox?
That’s a good one. He should’ve used Monopoly pieces though, that wouldn’t been a brain teaser. Imagine all the different shapes!
I once lived in a small town for a while, working. The sort of place with a single large industry where everybody works, one big prominent water tower that’s taller than all the houses and has the town’s name written on it, and just one kindly old family doctor. There was fencing around the base of that water tower that kind of looked like an afterthought. Turns out the son of the local physician, Dr. Smith, had climbed the tower a few years earlier, and leapt to his death.
The name of the town, stenciled prominently on the tower? Smiths Falls, Ontario.
