While contemplating mortality in general, it occured to me that there would be lots of ways to go mixed with general bad timing that would lead to some pretty embarrasing deaths. I was wondering if anyone had a good story to share.
There is the old story of the guy in a building in Toronto that used to throw himself at the windows to show how strong they were…
…one day he did it and the window gave in…and he fell…
I’m pretty sure it he was embarassed…but only until he hit the ground. 
(Yes…this is a true story.)
If you are dead, how anything can embarras you? You are too sensitive. On the other hand, it’s a good sign: if you still want to impress people, you are not too depressed.
I used to collect these. Some of my favorites included:
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MI man who, after constructing his own home made cannon, tested it by firing a golf ball. Said golf ball shot into his crotch.
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Man who’s newly wed bride fell out of the window of a hotel after bouncing on the bed.
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Quadrapelegic who killed his wife by shooting her with a gun mounted to his wheelchair, trigger pulled by string from the trigger to his mouth. His wife put the string in his mouth. He was in a wheel chair because a prior wife had shot him.
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(this person I knew) Woman does several years in prison for hit and run death of a jogger - case was interesting in the respect that originally, she was the main prosecution witness against the other person in the car. and while on the stand mentioned in passing that she’d been wearing sunglasses at the time. Witness to the accident mumbles to prosecutor “but the Driver was wearing sunglasses”, trial is halted and she’s arrested on the spot. Several years after her release, she died when the car she was driving hit the back end of a cement mixer.
The embarrassment would have to appear while you were still alive.
I once had a neighbor who crashed through a closed glass doorwall, trying to bring a bring a load of drinks to the group on the patio.
He had a huge gushing wound in his leg from a 3-foot shard of glass dropping like a guillotine.
His last words before passing out were “I’m so embarrassed!”
Luckily, he did live, but with a terrible limp for years.
Auto-erotic asphixiation.
I think it would be pretty embarrassing to drown in a swimming pool while on a cruise ship.
Just thin in the middle of miles and miles of water, and you meet your end after too man daquari’s in a pools who’s max depth is 6 feet.
Much hushed silence followed the death of the MD’s father at Esso Ireland some years ago.
It transpired that he had been killed when a cow fell on him.
Not funny but you gotta wonder what kind of epitah youre going to write for that one
I’d have to agree with Shiva on the auto-erotic asphixiation. Or having a heart attack while jerking off, something like that.
There are some amusing tales here:
http://www.darwinawards.com/
Being attacked by sheep who throw you over the edge of a cliff after trying to feed them.
Impacted Colon
It would suck to die because you couldn’t poop.
IIRC correctly, I think that’s what killed Heather O’Rourke (the little girl from the Poltergeist series).
<pause>
That happened to someone?
Dead, rope around neck, pecker in your hand. Wow.
I just had the “Gerald’s Game” flash. (that would be horrible as well, she had plenty of time to contemplate embarasment)
Having a heart attack while doing the strenuous exercise of typing in a chat room.
In 1990, a 39-year-old spaniard was quietly nailing a chick amid a pile of boulders on a riverbank in Orense, Spain. He was so quiet about it because the bird of his affections was of the poultry variety. Their passion was so strong that they dislodged an enormous boulder above, which then fell and crushed the plucky pair.
Sharpshooter David M. Grundman of Phoenix decided to use a saguaro cactus for target practice. He shot it so full of holes that when he went to inspect the damage, all 23 spiky feet of it fell on him, turning him into a human pincushion.
Michael Godwin, a NY prison inmate, sat down naked on his metal toilet in march 1989. He decided to use the downtime to repair his TV earphones, which would’ve been fine it he hadn’t bitting into the electrical cord and sautéed himself. Ironically, Godwin had his original sentence of death by electrocution reduced to life.
In 1990, Ali-Asghar Ahani and a pal were hunting near Teheran, Iran, when Ahari tried to pin a snake with the butt of his shotgun. The snake’s coil squeezed the trigger, blowing off Ahani’s head.
“When you gotta go, you gotta go. But if you do, don’t get caught with your pants down. Think of the ones you’ll leave behind”.
I can’t believe this thread has lasted so long with no mention of Elvis.
“This isn’t so bad. We once picked up a victim who broke his neck trying to put his mouth on his own penis.”
–Medical Examiner, Clerks.
It actually happened to SNL’s Will Ferrer. Or course he didn’t died, but he was rushed to the hospital with a seriously strained neck. Later they did an sketch making fun of it in that SNL episode with Tobey Maguire. And Will had another chance to prove how limber he is. Heh.
Then there was the general at the Battle of Spotsylvania during the Civil War, fellow by the name of John Sedgwick IIRC, who leaned over the parapet wall and said scornfully to his cowardly troops, “Why, they couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–”
When I worked at a Title Insurance company, we had to get copies of death certificates to clear up title problems.
I saw one which read: Cause of death, fell into automatic washing machine while intoxicated and drowned.
How embarassing is that for the family???
I’ve always wondered what the HELL he was drinking.