Creative Writing Advice- Topic: Revising First Drafts

Cafe Society
1

I’d say my greatest shortcoming as a writer would be the great struggle of facing rewrites and revision.

When I get a piece to the point where I could call it finished it’s just so hard to make myself go over it and punch up all the weak points.

To make discussion easier I’ll make an example out of the format that I most often share with various audiences: I write comedy songs. I also write short stories, plays, and am working on a novelette, but currently most of those stay in my desk.

The comedy songs are performed quite regularly so I’m going to focus discussion there (though I would direct much of the same complaints towards my other works as well).

I actually think that comedy songs are very easy to write. The hard part is finding the initial inspiration for a particular song, but once I’m excited about a topic it’s all about following a tried and true formula (for me- you’re writing style and choices may vary greatly from mine): The premise is set in the first verse (or sometimes I’ll set the premise in a short monologue that will precede the song). After the premise is set it’s about fitting in as many jokes as possible while advancing the story. The meter and rhythm of the verse dictate exactly where the jokes are supposed to go (comedy depends so much on timing- this is why I think comedy songs are easy, the timing is set for you, you just need to recognize where the jokes are supposed to go).

So, I’ll write a song. I’ll recognize that it is good and that it is worth adding to my set. But maybe jokes are missing from a couple points where I know there should be jokes. Or maybe the laughs don’t build the way they should (generally I think there should be two jokes per verse: a “chuckle” in the first stanza and a big laugh right before the refrain. The final verse should be the funniest.) Maybe my final verse just isn’t funny enough (it’s not as easy as just rearranging the verses so that the funniest one is last, the last verse needs to wrap up the story and, often, I like for there to be a twist. I also like for the last verse to be my “hey, guys, this is my grand ‘satirical’ point” verse).

So, I’ve got something that I can use, but I know it could be better. We’ll call it a good first draft rather than a rough draft, because I do rework a few things and punch it up a bit, but I know in my heart of hearts it’s just not as “done” as it could be.

It is so hard for me to get past this point!!! What? I have to go back??? But look! Look! There’s the song! It’s there! I wrote that song already!!! I’m drained at this point, diving back in is so daunting, calling the song “finished” is so easy.

Many of the songs that I regularly perform in front of an audience have not gotten past this stage. Then, after I’ve performed a song for a while and it always gets laughs and a great reaction, when I get compliments afterwards by people who tell me what their favorite song is, or that a particular song is “so funny”, it is so much easier to just call it “finished”. I mean, hey, why reinvent the wheel? Right?

But deep down when someone says “hey, great song” I want to be able to agree with them!!! And this isn’t a poor self-image kind of a thing. I can recognize when I do well. I can also recognize when I’ve been lazy. There are some songs that I really have finished and those are the ones I’m most proud of.

So, although I may have a little bit of talent, I have horrible writing habits and poor discipline. But I’m here and I’ve recognized the problem. So, I look to the disciplined writers of the SDMB who have good writing habits and I ask for advice. How do I sufficiently kick my own ass into shape here? What tricks have you learned?

Honestly, the creative part of my brain just locks down when I try to rework a piece that I could call “finished”.

If anyone wants to: e-mail me your mailing address and I’ll send you a copy of my first Comedy CD. I’m working on the new CD now and I really don’t want to record songs that still need rewrites. I didn’t not avoid this misstep when I recorded my debut CD. To this day I flinch when I listen to it and hear material that just isn’t up to par. Any constructive critiques from other writers would be appreciated.

2

Case in point.

3

I’m sure that in part the problem is related to the material. It is harder to make funny writing “funnier” than it is to tighten up other forms of writing. Additionally the form of a song can make it difficult to see how another joke fits in. I think that is why ensemble writing is so common in comedy - 5 people sitting around spitballing an idea is a different matter to one person going through the same set of lyrics 5 times.

Post an example of some lyrics you suspect could be improved and see if anyone can improve them - maybe you’ve run the subject dry after all.

4

A perfectly sensible suggestion, and an offer that is appreciated, but it’s not so much a “I’m having trouble with this particular piece” kind of a thing but more a “I need to improve my writing habits- who has some good habits that I should employ” kind of a thing.

Help me with a particular song = give a man a fish

Help me improve my writing habits = teach a man to fish

I might consider putting some lyrics on my website and posting a link since “By posting on this board you grant the Chicago Reader, Inc., and its successors and assigns a nonexclusive irrevocable right to re-use your posting in any manner it or they see fit without notice or compensation to you” but still any suggestions to improve a particular piece wouldn’t really serve the need to improve my writing habits on the whole.

5

I was thinking more along the lines of, “Just hit a few nice easy 7 irons and we’ll see how your swing is and if we can give you any tips.”
“Or whether you should be bowling.”

6

I think the easiest thing to do would be to take your “good first draft” and stick it in a drawer for a month or two. Then, once you’ve sorta-kinda forgotten exactly what it sounds like, pull it back out, read it over, and start editing.

You’d be surprised how having fresh eyes will change your perception of a piece. I’ve worked on a draft, edited it to a tee until I thought it sounded perfect, then put it away. When I read it again later, all the little awkward phrases and missteps jumped out at me.

I think, too, that resting your manuscript (or song, whatever) has something of a psychological component to it. After you’ve just completed a draft, you’ve got some emotional investment in it, and it’s easy to think, “I just put all this work into it, and it’s darn good! Why put any more work in?” If you wait for a month or so, that emotion has cooled off some, so you can view your project a bit more dispassionately.

7

Zut made it in first with everything I was going to say. Ah well, I’m an editor, not a writer, so I guess that’s okay.

My other suggestion would be to not perform the songs until after you’ve done the revise. It sounds like the performance adds to their “doneness” in your mind. Hopefully you’re not so strapped for material that you need the new stuff to fill out your set.