That was the point. The title A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy is ironic; the film is about desperation and failure and is one of Allen’s most serious.
Was it Cousin, cousine?
“I like the way they think.” [/George Michael Bluth]
I can just barely remember enough to be almost useful. There was one about two teens and their parents. It had a lot of crossed communication that was truly funny, but I think there was a somewhat creepy premise in that some of the parents were having an affair, or getting a divorce, or something. Gakk, this is why I don’t post much about movies.
“Creepy” suggests a plot of some sort. But if you mean just plain bizarre, you can’t do better than H.O.T.S..
:smack:
HAIR PIE!
I was just going to mention that! There was strip tease scene and the kid in the red shorts constantly calling for phone sex, and the moronic soldier and his skanky girlfriend…ugh.
Anyone besides me seen Princess Academy? One dirt-poor girl gets a scholarship to an uber-snobby European finishing school. Lotsa larfs ensue. My favorite bit was when our heroine and her friends, banking on the fact that young ladies in close quarters will often be on the same cycle, get back at the stuck-up girls by breaking into the dispensary and filling all the tampons with itching powder. And if the idea of itching powder up there doesn’t creep you out, then I don’t know what will.
Sternvogel writes:
> Was it Cousin, cousine?
No, it was Tender Cousins:
Yup, that’s the one. I think if I watched it now the creep factor may not be so high. At the time I was 8 or 9, watching it with the sound low after sneaking into the family room after mom and dad went to sleep. The whole incest theme just squicked me.
Hmmm, maybe that movie bears another viewing now that I’m older and wiser. 
Argh. As a teenager I went frame by frame trying to see the photo of Christopher Atkins having his photo taken having sex with the hot but uptight blonde girl. My grandmother yelled at me from another room to stop playing with the remote just as I got to it, and I clicked past it.
Scott Baio as a horny but shy teenager with telekinesis was just weird.
Don’t forget the seqwuel Private School, which brought Sylvia back and had Ray Walston !
There was a deservedly forgotten sequel to Zapped, [B} Zapped Two**, which makes the original seem like Shakespeare.
The reason I came here was to mention Blame it on Rio, which gets my vote, hands down. Youn don’t expect much from an unabashed porno flick like Cafe Flesh, but you do expect more from the likes of Stanley Donen and Michael Caine (not to mention Josepg Bologna and Rhoda Morgenstern).
and, as one reviewer said, “As a parent I wouldn’t be as worried about my daughter taking up with Michael Caine as about Demi Moore hang-gliding.”
And Howard Hesseman is in both. Hmmm…
I had a flat tire, needed to get gas, people kept calling…
Did I ever tell you guys about my cousin Cindy? Cute as all get out, BIG tits, can put both feet behind her head, and can fit her whole fist in her mouth.
What!?
;j
Tendres Cousines
I remember this one from late night Cinemax. IIRC, I was too enthralled by tits to care about the implications (the fact that I don’t have any sisters or female cousins probably helped).
I can’t remember the title now, but there was one where a teenage boy has an affair with an older woman put in a position of authority over him (narrows it down, doesn’t it?) that ends with an extended love scene while the credits roll. Rod Stewart songs play in the background. The young man has to keep coming up with new facial expressions to communicate the joy he is supposed to be experiencing. It made me want to look away, and I was like 14 years old and looking at boobies.
How about “Perfect”? I’ve never seen the whole thing, but snippets of John Travolta’s thrusting his Spandex-clad dink on “I Love the 80s” are enough to send me screaming.
He’s not just calling for phone sex- he’s into bestiality! And when the hobgoblins make his ‘dream’ skank show up for him, it’s even worse.
This thread is the only place I would ever admit to seeing, let alone discuss in detail Hot Dog …The Movie 1984’s major contribution to the American Film Canon 
Really you need to be careful I do not exaggerate when I say this is borderline porn – you get the feeling the Producers sold MGM a good American kid vs. evil rich/snobby/foreigners on the slopes movie and realized once shooting started “* Holy crap this sucks – lets up the nudity and sex by a factor of 10- maybe that will save this Turkey*” Well it didn’t.
What makes it “creepy” though is that both the hero and “The Girl” cheat on each other – & I mean the latter performs a sex act in a degrading situation that literally would probably get her locked up if she were caught —and the HERO berates THE GIRL in a truly amazing double standard you alm,ost think “Afterschool special on the doble standard” and yet … there is no later redeeming “hey that was wrong” – nope. It was OK for him not for her that was the message. That outraged me.
Bonus for really, really bad production value for a “studio” B film and plenty o’ foreigner stereo-types for us all to laugh at and enjoy their foreign accents and antics - as only the 80’s can do for us.
I remember this. I think the Eurotrash bad guy is now doing Volkswagen commercials. The girl’s name was sunny. What I mainly remember from that movie was they bad guy saying he’d had eggs that morning, “Sunny side up, Sunny side down…” etc. I shouted to teh screen, “Too bad the yolk was runny.” Big laughs. Good times.