Hummm, you know, my attitude might be improved if I had a hot blonde to ogle. All I’ve gotten are skeezy dudes.
I wish I could have a dog to terrify these people.
Unfortunately, the house is infested with cats.
I usually just say, right off, “Are you selling magazines?”
They immediately go to “jolly mode,” deny selling anything, and explain how they’re engaged in a CONTEST, they’re trying to MEET PEOPLE, and if they shake a certain number of people’s hands… (extends hand)
I interrupt, “What do you WANT?” I ignore the hand.
Open sales pitch. “To prove I’ve MET the people, I have to get them to sign up for these fine periodicals…”
“You lied to me,” I say. “You said you weren’t selling anything. The last six times I had to deal with one of you people, I’ve wondered if shooting you would do any good. Each time one of you shows up and jacks me around, I think about that a little harder.” (intense stare)
This usually gets them to do a fast fade…
I’ve never had a magazine subscription seller come to my door since i moved to the US. Maybe that’s because i live in a part of Baltimore where most of the row houses have been converted to apartments, and door-to-door selling in this area requires ringing between three and five different doorbells at each house.
The only solicitations i’ve had have been liberal/left groups like environmetal organizations, aid groups, and the Public Interest Research Group. I think they come around because there are lots of students and young, fairly liberal professionals in this neighbourhood, and they figures it’s a good place to troll for donations. If i answer the door, i generally explain that, while i often support their position, i am a grad student who is on a low income–indeed, who is about to start racking up debt–and that i might donate once i finish my Ph.D. and get a job that pays half decent money.
But, for the most part, i never even have to answer the door. You see, when someone rings the doorbell of my ground-floor neighbour, i can hear the bell ring in her apartment. The door-to-door solicitors generally ring all the bells one after another, so if i hear my bell and then her bell straight after one another, i know it’s a solicitor and i ignore the summons to the door. Also, for the most part i know when i’m expecting someone to ring my bell.