I have people coming to my house all the time. The last 3 times, they’ve been coming to ask for donations for some kind of fund.
I don’t remember what they are, money to sponsor a school trip to DC, or money to get library books, or some other kind of thing. What’s the best thing to say to turn them away politely?
Oh, you’ve probably thought up two dozen way of turning people away politely. If you decided to poll the SDMB, you’re obviously looking for deranged ways of turning people away.
Answering the door naked comes to mind. Or carrying a machete. Or both.
O.K. I’ll be serious.
One excuse that’s always worked for me is the tried and trued, “Oh, sorry, I don’t live here, I’m (Insert whatever feels good) house sitting, just visiting and the owners are currently away, I’m only here to feed the pets, I’m here working on the …”
That’s always worked for strangers. If it’s a kid in the neighborhood, I tend to go along with the speil. It usually helps to be friendly with the neighbors and only costs a couple bucks.
Not funny or witty, but it gets rid of them in a hurry.
My roommate once answered the door to a couple of religious solicitors. (I don’t recall their denomination.) This was their mistake.
My roommate started into a theological debate that the Pope would try to worm his way out of. He offered to get his copies of the Bible and the Koran out for a comparative study. Then at one point (I guess after the mention of the Koran), one of the white-shirts asked, “Do you know who we are?”
“Yeah,” my roommate answered. “You’re Kirk and he’s Spock!”
They excused themselves, and we were never bothered by that group again. :D:D
(bolding mine) I just bet that scares 'em off! 
Its not necessary to lie, all you have to do is say ‘Im not interested’
Sometimes if its kids with those whiney eyes, I give them my left over pennies in a jar.
Tell them that your policy is to send a check to the organization they are whoring themselves for. Get the name, address & phone number of the main office and tell them you’ll even put their names in the memo field of the check if they’re worried about commission or brownie points. They shouldn’t give you any fuss because this satisfies all of their needs.
They should also understand that any sizeable donation (tell them you plan to send in several hundred dollars) should be via check so you have proof when tax time rolls around.
Shoot them then stick their heads on poles to warn away others.
That was a gimme ChiefWahoo!!
Damn! I didn’t even see it.
Then again, there has been this gal trying to get me to buy…
I don’t open the door. I call out through the front window, “Who is it?”
When they say they’re selling candy, trying to win a trip, helping the poor, etc., I tell them, “Not interested.”
If they persist, then I don’t reply.
I usually invite the religious ones in also. We had two Jehovah’s Witnesses named George and Martha who came for a while. But when they realized that I had no intention of converting and was just being friendly, they stopped coming over. Sometimes fundies and others start making excuses to me that they have other appointments, etc, and need to leave. I had a group of Mormons coming over for a while, but this last time they did not make another appointment, after probably assuming they can’t save me from perdition.
My mother also invited religious solicitors in the house, and sometimes spoke with them at great length. One of them became a true friend, and she visited Mom for a number of years, up until my mother’s death. Mom used to tell us if the religious discussions got to a point where her friend could not answer a question and seemed disturbed by this, Mom would change the subject. She didn’t want her friend to lose her faith, because it seemed to be such a comfort to her.
Back to the OP (sorry about the long hijack), having a dog on a tie-out cord helps, or not answering the door, or just politely refusing. If the solicitor her/himself is pushy or rude, I generally tell them their behavior is highly intrusive and ask them not to return. Stops 'em in their tracks usually.
That was a serious question. Half the answers are people trying to be smart, that seems to be the norm in SD nowadays.
I usually say “I’m not interested”. But that doesn’t seem to be the right answer. That is the right answer if they’re selling something. But if it’s for a cause (whether it’s a real one or a made up one) it seems crass “not to be interested” in donation to homeless shelters or something moral like that. Then they say “What? You’re not interested in helping out the poor?”
And even if I say I’m house sitting I can still donate, right? So that doesn’t seem to be the right answer either.
I want an answer that will turn them away, without sounding crass or impolite.
I forgot to say, thanks to those who posted the serious replies.
I normally refer them to IMHO. They usually get the hint.
What do you care? You’ll never see them again. Instead of “Not interested”, you can say, “No, thank you.” Then ignore them.
I am in a condo with a secured entrance, but occasionally someone else will buzz a solicitor into the building <Grrrrrrrr>. If I want to be nice I’ll say “I’m sorry, I don’t respond to door-to-door or phone solicatations. If you’d like to send me some literature I will consider donating.” If it’s something I’m interested in I’ll research them a little to make sure the organization is legit and decide if I want to donate. If I want to be not-so-nice, I’ll ask them if they saw the “No Soliciting” sign.
If they buzz my unit and I choose to answer (I often don’t), I just tell them soliciting is not allowed.
As a rule, I tell all phone solictors (should I choose to answer the phone) to put me on their “do not call” lists.
kidding around reply
I always like to act completely insane. Imagine something like this:
Them: I’m Bill with the organization of young blind kid’s charities and I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time today.
Me: Sure, Bill, come on in…YOU WILL BE DEVOURED BY SUB-NIGGAURATH, THE BLACK GOAT OF THE WOODS WITH TEN THOUSAND YOUNG!! I WILL DEVOUR YOU!!
Works every time…
serious reply
Having worked around the business for awhile, any commissioned salesperson will leave you alone if you give them a simple “no thanks”.
The charities can be a little harder, but if you want them to leave you alone, the best thing to do is tell them “I’m sorry, I don’t have anyhting to give right now. Why don’t you give me the phone number of your main office and I might call in a donation later.”
I feel that my approach accomplishes this. They leave your door feeling good about the large donation that you will soon be mailing in, and you feel good that you’ve told them exactly what they want to hear (money is going to their cause).
Once they are gone, you can decide for yourself if it really sounded like a worthy (or even legit) cause & if not then you can decide not to send anything without having to say “no” to anybody’s face.
I have a big dog that can see the front porch and barks very loudly at anyone who approaches. This filters out all but the most foolhearty, and those will leave if you just stand there and stare at them, not saying a word, no expression on your face.
Try ** porcupine’s idea **, go to Home Depot and get a ‘No Solicitating’ sign and put it under your door bell. Those that have the nerve, (or can’t read) politely refer to the sign, ‘I don’t give to anything door to door’.
I feel for you with the kids though, I’m a such a sucker for those cute lil faces selling Christmas paper, cookies, and coupons. You know they just HATE doing this and yet have summoned the courage to ring the doorbell. So * those are the ones * I usually DO give or buy whatever, the rest, I just stick with “I don’t give anything to people soliciting door to door.”