Creepy door-to-door magazine sellers...

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve had enough of these people. I really have.

Due to some rotten timing on my part, I arrived home just as one was waiting outside my apartment door for me to answer. I let him go through his pitch, which included (a new wrinkle to me) donating the subscription to a local children’s hospital or whatever if I didn’t want one for myself.

I know from 'net research and previous experience that these things are overpriced at best, and outright fraud at worst. I declined, saying that money was tight and I couldn’t afford it - no, not even ten bucks. And I said that if I wanted to donate to charity, I’d rather do it in person. Then he got all huffy, saying something along the lines of that I had no right to be “offended” (huh? At what?) and that I should just go back to my own fucking country. (Detail that wasn’t relevant 'til now: he was black. I guess he missed the irony.)

With that, he goes away. I enter my apartment, now feeling lucky, given that reaction, that I didn’t do what I was considering doing: telling him to his face that I thought that what he was doing was a scam. About an hour and a half later or so, there’s another knock on the door. I look through the peephole, and see someone I’m pretty sure was him. It was too dark to tell for sure, but it was certainly someone around his build, carrying slips around the size of those magazine subscription slips, and (I’m pretty sure) a folder, which the first guy had. I’m pretty sure he wants to apologize for insulting me, and thus get another shot at my business, but I ain’t opening the door. He apparently sees that someone is at the peephole, waves, and walks off after a few seconds.

I’ve read on some scam sites that there have been magazine sales reps that have bragged about the sex and drugs they get from customers, so I guess I got off easy. But damn if that didn’t creep me out. Feh.

2

Yeah. I got this one recently too (greater Seattle area). It always makes me wonder. I mean, who are these people, and how did they get duped into doing this sort of thing? And why, for the love of god, don’t they offer any magazines I want?

I did get ‘Family Fun’ from one such itinerant salesman a couple of years back. Thank god the subscription finally ran out. What a waste of paper. But I did get it. It’s not that I didn’t receive it. I just wish I’d saved my money and not bought the sales pitch.

3

I get em, too. They tell me that they’re in college and doing it for some kind of class to “improve their communications skills”, then act like beligerent fuckheads when I say I don’t want anything.

4

Years back, I had a teenager come to my door trying to sell the local paper. Everytime I said no, he would come up with a new reason for me to buy the paper. First it was a great deal, then it was so he could sell the most and win a trip. He had about 5 of them and I eventually got pissed off and closed the door. Now that I’ve given it some thought, I’d hire him to sell for me anyday. He might have been annoying but he sure as hell worked his hardest to get the sale. Unlike the OP seller, he was never annoyed or annoyed, just very persistent.

5

A lot of these are people that sign up to sell the subscriptions, and they’re bussed into a specific area, dropped off, and told to get to it. They then work in that area all day trying to sign people up, then they’re off to the next area the next day.

I actually signed up with one company raising funds for an environmental charity, they did the same bit. This was in Cincinnati. They drove us to a specific area, had us get lunch, then told us to go door to door. I stayed in the restaurant. :slight_smile:

6

That’s why I printed out a “No Soliciting” sign for my apartment door.

Now that I live in a house, I get less of that kind of crap. I haven’t even put up a No Soliciting sign. Any idea why apartments get hit more? I’d first say it’s because of density, but the houses on my street are close together and probably faster to go door to door in than my old apartment complex. Any other reasons?

7

About 3 years ago I decided I no longer wanted to answer the door to unannounced callers. My friends are aware of this and accept it as a minor eccentricity. It has worked well. My friends call before stopping over, and I have not had to deal with any salespeople. Once I had a neighbor trot up to my car to tell me my doorbell must be broken. He said somebody was at my door ringing the bell but I did not answer. I told him I did not take callers unannounced. He did not get it and I did not explain.

8

Yes! I knew this was a fucking scam! Last year one of these women came to the door and told me she was taking a little poll and was trying to earn points for her class. Started asking me questions, but I noted she wasn’t writing anything down. Got very chatty, then braced me for the subscriptions. Really pissed me off that she misrepresented herself.

So a few days ago, I get another young woman giving me the “communications skills” spiel. She actually tried to get me to give her a high five! I said “you’re selling magazines, right?” She says (to her credit) “yes, did you support us last year?”. I replied in the negative and she says “No? You don’t want to support our class?”

“End of conversation”, says I, and closed the door.

I really resent the whole phony perky friendly bullshit. It’s such an insulting setup, and you feel like you’ve been groped after they finally reveal the real reason they’re standing there pitching you. I think next time I’m going to demand to know who the hell they are really representing and report them to the BBB.

9

Some Magazine guy came over a few years ago and gave this long speech about how he was under priviliged and from the ghetto and how selling magazines was these magazines was keeping him from selling drugs on the street. The whole time I’m thinking I’d prefere he was selling drugs, because at least its something people actually want. After another minute or so of him trying to make me feel guilty about my priveledged life he all the sudden asks “He man do you got any pot?”

I say " But didnt you you just talk about how this job keeps you away from drugs?"

He says “No man said it kept me from SELLING drugs. Come one man hook-me up.”

“I don’t do that anymore”

“okay you got beer?”

“Yeah”

“hook me up”

“Its not mine. I got study bye” and I closed the door.

Thank god my new place has a gate.

10

I don’t know if it is technically a scam, more like unethical and a poor sales technique.

I ran into one several years ago which I didn’t know was a sales ploy until reading a book on sales which mentioned it.

Sales guy on phone: “Hi, I’m calling for Short Road, is he in?”
Me: “No, sorry, you have the wrong number, no one by that name lives here.”
Sales Guy: “Oh, my number must be wrong. Who am I speaking with?”
Me: “This is Long Road.”
Sales Guy: " Well, I hate to not offer an opportunity to someone just because it wasn’t the person I was calling." or something very similar.

I never really thought about it again until 2 months ago when I was reading a book by Stephan Schiffman where he mentions this. People call with a different name and use that as a way to get talking to you about the product.

I’ve now developed my wife’s response to sales calls: I hang up the phone. No sense trying to say you are not interested.

11

I’m going to have to leave this thread, I had one today and I blame the thread. Unfortunately, he caught me when I was low on patience.

“Hi I’m going door to door to raise my confidence and overcome shyness (blah blah blah)”
“Uh huh. You selling magazines?”
“No…”
“Cause I wasn’t aware selling magazines door to door was an approved psychological treatment for shyness. So what’re you selling?”
“Well, these fine publications…”
“Magazines. You lying asshat.” door starts swinging shut
“But…I see that you play lotsa video games.”
“Fuck off.” SLAM

12

I filter all of it by using a peep hole in the door. If the person ringing my doorbell is unknown to me, I don’t answer the door. Just can’t be bothered. The only problem is when the person catches me outside. Those suck, leave me the hell alone.

13

You know, I usually just avoid answering the door, but Maitenance is supposed to put in a new dishwasher at some point, and I’d rather them not just come in, though I’m changing my mind on that rather quickly.

14

So has anybody else thought of Orlando Jones in Office Space while reading this thread?

For those who haven’t seen the movie, it turns out that Steve is

really an unemployed computer programmer who’s never done drugs but makes more money working fewer hours selling magazines than he did as a programmer.

The ones I’ve had were usually kids saying that they would win a trip to some destination I’ve never been to (Hawaii, Paris, etc.) if their team sells enough magazines. In addition to having no desire to subsidize the vacations of others (if you want my sympathy tell me its to buy your little brother a kidney and then show me some documentation), I’ve seen tv exposes on this- the kids usually respond to ads for “easy money” in magazines and papers, are given a percentage of each of the sales and are actually carpooled to other cities to make their sales. Total ripoff and I’m surprised there hasn’t been a movement afoot to threaten any publishers who agree to sell subscriptions through these people with a boycott.

15

I get these people all the damn time.
Usually, I get rid of them by telling them that my usband has to approve all my purchases (blink blink). I tell the people to come back when they see a red truck in the front, because that means he is home. (we don’t own a red truck).

Now I get rid of them by frantically coming to the door and I ask them if it’s an emergency they are having, because I am BUSY feeding the baby. Then I close the door.

The last one pissed me off because she told ne that my neighbor next door told them what a wonderful charitable person and that they were very sure I would want to buy a magazine from them. I asked her: which neighbor said that, the one on vacation or the one who has never even said hello in over 4 years?

16

That’s creepy, Leaper . I don’t like strangers coming up to my door. And to have the guy come back. Who knows what he wanted the second time…maybe revenge! (Muahahahahha)

I’m a bit suspicous by nature. I don’t mind the Scouts selling things, and sometimes the candy sellers do well at my house…just depends on the spiel. I hate those magazine sellers. The ones who have been coming around here have this slimy scammy air about them. I had one recently who (and they all start this way … same “how to sweet talk the customer” voice) smiled broadly and in his best Eddie Haskell voice commented on “what a lovely home” I have, and “may I step in, it’s awfully cold out here.” He seemed about 14, and just a bit too suspicious for my liking. And no way in hell I let these people into my hone, and too fucking bad I live in Alaska and you are trying to sell me crappy magazines when it’s 20 below out. I tell them no through a tiny crack in the door, and that I’m busy, so they have no choice but to work quickly and at my doorway.

Then starts the sappy speech… usually raising money for kids … and oh, apparently my neighbor sent him over to my house because he was so pleased with his magazine purchases that he thought I would like them too!!! Goody Goody!

So I listen patiently while he freezes his balls off … and I finally get to see the magazine choices … about 4 times the subscription prices, and I say no (no thank you). He says … in horror … OH, you mean you don’t want to HELP KIDS??? I tell him, “NO, I don’t want overpriced magazines.” He says it again, “BUT if you buy these, you’ll HELP KIDS!” And he says, “And you listened like you were going to buy some and HELP KIDS, and I was so happy and now…now…”…(dramatic pause) … (musters up a tear for gawd’s sake) … He seemed to think the tear would do it. I think “what do I look like, some 80 year old grandma who’s going to fall for that crap???” I tell him I listened to be 1. polite, and 2. to give him experience in his presentation and at being turned down. Well, his sweet little face and doggy eyes flashed angry as I told him, “sorry, but I have to go now. Good luck.”

I don’t mind the legitimate kids coming round…most times anyway. I have no idea where these other kids come from…they aren’t usually affiliated with any high school that they mention… just independent types raising money to HELP KIDS!! The OP certainly seems suspicous. I would have been wary.

17

I like to turn down these scammers with a reply that is absolutely nuts. I figure, even if they didn’t sell me a magazine, at least they have a ‘weird customer’ story to tell at the end of the evening.

Among others, the reasons I’ve refused to buy magazines include:

I’m blind. (Never mind I’ve just been perusing their catalog.)

I’m illiterate. (Ditto)

I don’t speak English so I wouldn’t get any benefit out of the magazine. (That’s one of my favorites, given that we’re currently involved in a nice little fluent chat in English. They usually get this shell-shocked look and blink, and blink. “But we’re speaking English!” “No, we aren’t. How could we be speaking English, when I don’t know English? What are you, calling me a liar?”
I would subscribe but the Rapture is coming this Sunday, so I’d just be wasting money.
What’s today’s password? You don’t know? Well, I’m sorry, then your security clearance isn’t high enough to access my checkbook.
My horoscope told me I’d regret any financial doings I did that day.

I’d be happy to subscribe. You got ‘Taxidermy for Amateurs’? No? How about ‘Home Survivalist Gun Review’? No? ‘Llama Rancher’s Monthly’? ‘Strip Tease, Jr’? (I can keep that one up until they give up on me.)
If I subscribed, then the Postman would have an excuse to come to my door, and he looks JUST LIKE this serial murderer I saw on America’s Most Wanted. I don’t know why they won’t come and arrest him, I’ve called in the tip every week for months now. I bet he’s paying off the police. It’s all a conspiracy, that’s proof for you.

etc.

18

Oh yea, that was today’s asshole’s thing. He’ll get a vacation. Well, whoopy shit! If I was going to get a vacation, I’d be more inclined to listen. I’m sure as fuck not going to subsidize someone else’s vacation.

19

Oh, I got one of these last summer. Blonde cheerleader type at the door, very very perky. “Hi! My softball team had a great year and we get to go to the national finals in Maui!”

(that’s nice, congratulations and all that)

“. . . and the deal is that our parents will pay for half and we have to raise the other half ourselves!”

(okay, and you’re doing what to earn this?)

"Well, we’re approaching our neighbors, like you . . . "

(I’m squinting, it’s early, I’m not wearing my contacts, is this one of my neighbors’ kids? one of my friends’ kids? I don’t think so.) “So cut to the chase, what are you selling?”

Turns out she’s not selling anything. She wants me to make a modest donation. Say ten dollars. Surely I can afford ten dollars.

When I say sorry, no, she gets insulted. “Like, you can’t afford a measly ten dollars? What are you, living in this house on social security?”

(I would like to point out that I live in a very, extremely, modest house, and that my lawn badly needed mowing. And the reason my lawn needed mowing was that a snowstorm last March took out the roof of my garage, which landed on and totaled my lawn mower, among other things, and I hadn’t at that point been able to save enough pennies to replace it. In fact, whenever the doorbell rang I hoped it was some enterprising teen offering to mow my lawn for $10, or even $20–but no, they just wanted money. Nobody actually wanted to do anything to earn the money.)

I told her to go away, not rudely but not nicely either (owing to that crack about social security). Then I shut the door and yelled, “And I don’t fucking CARE if your softball team gets to Maui, okay?” which alarmed my husband because usually he’s the one who yells at solicitors (but they are usually not shapely blondes, either). So then I had to explain that I hadn’t really yelled that AT her, although if she heard me, well, that was okay, too.

Panhandling cheerleaders. What’s the world come to?

Do I go door to door, begging for money to fix my kid’s teeth? I could take him along, have him smile. “His orthodontist needs to go to Maui. Please help.”

And I really need to buy a fantastic dress to wear to a big deal event coming up in only a couple of months. I guess I could stand on the median with a cardboard sign: “Why lie? I need a Versace.”

And gee, I wouldn’t mind going to Maui myself.

20

I’m mentioned this before, so don’t read if it you know the story. :smiley:

I have a black border collie/lab mix. She barks when someone comes to the door. She wants to go out and greet them. She’s fairly strong. She wouldn’t hurt a fly, but a stranger wouldn’t know that, would they?

So when people choose to ignore the “No Soliciting” sign at the entrance to our development and they come to my door selling the crap du jour, I answer the door with one hand on the dog’s collar and the other on the doorknob. I’ve perfected a posture that makes it look like I’m straining to hold the dog inside, and the door’s open just enough to make this effort visible. That leaves me no hands to take brochures or the “Free Gift” that’s held out to me. And of course, because I’m struggling to restrain my beast, I tend to have a harried and unhappy look on my face. The sellers don’t stand a chance. Nor do the door-to-door preachers.

I don’t have any problem with the cute little Girl Scout, tho. She pet the dog while I wrote out a check for her.

Even when the dog is unavailble, I know not to take anything handed to me, and I can look bitchy on demand. And I don’t answer questions. I’ve got too much to do. Feel free to use my method.