My ex-wife was babysitting the neighbors 3 year old and had him sitting at the dining room table while preparing him a snack.
When she returned, she saw he had taken the salt shaker and sprinkled out a pile of salt.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“That’s cocaine!” He replied.
We never let the neighbors watch our kids after that.
“When I’m big and you’re little, you’re going to go to bed when I say so.”
Uttered by my 3 year old daughter.
This one is funny at first, until you start thinking about what kind of life this kid might have had while growing up.
My mom was a headstart teacher, for kids 4-5 years of age. She was eating lunch with her kids when a black girl named Rhianne rolled up her napkin and acted like was smoking it.
Another black kid noticed her and said “Rhianne’s smoking a cigarette!”
Rhianne replied, “This ain’t no cigarette, niggah. It’s a cigar.”
When I worked with early bone marrow transplants, we had both adults and kids. One of my patients was a rambunctious 5 year old. Seattle stays light in the summer until almost 10:30 PM.
Bedtime was difficult at 7:30 PM. I’d close all the blinds, but, we were on the 9th floor with no obstructing buildings, so sunlight leaked in the tiniest cracks.
One evening, after getting the room as dark as possible, I sat down to read him a bedtime story. Suddenly, he sat up in bed and pointed to the top of an IV pole. When I looked at where he pointed there was a blue flash of light.
He said, “It’s Clara* come to say goodbye.”
She was another patient about 5 rooms down the hall, who had not been doing well. I stepped into the hall and the crash team was just entering her room. She didn’t survive.
*Not her real name.
Oh it’s downright frightening from the get go.
When the neighbor’s kid called spilled salt, cocaine, my ex-wife was savvy enough not to over react and calmly asked him, “where did you see cocaine?”
He clammed up, and just started eating his snack.
We had occasionally let the neighbors watch our kids, but not after that.
Even if he saw that on TV, that’s too creepy/ frightening.
Disturbing, but hilarious at the same time: I took our boy, as a toddler, to a museum on a rainy weekday. The museum had a display of pre-columbian idols, one of which was about 9’ tall and with a very frightening, angry and scowling face.
The kid took one look at this, his face opened with a delighted smile; he toddled towards the statue - pointed his chubby finger at it - and said, very loudly, “Daddy! Daaadddy!”.
Is that really how I look to him - an angry, frightening giant? The only other people in the room, a young couple, could not contain their laughter. 