Last week, during a moment of conflict, my daughter stormed from the room, stopping at the threshold to turn around, hands on hips, and declare, “It’s my life!”
I laughed pretty hard. (nb: My daughter is not quite three, and the conflict was over whether or not she was going to wear a pull-up overnight. I figured I’d have another fifteen years before she trotted that one out. Where the heck did she hear that?)
Yesterday, she was struggling to push a toy shopping cart full of dollies through the space between the couch and the coffee table, which was just too narrow - and exclaimed “Shit de câlice!” I was simultaneously mortified and impressed that she was able to recognize and combine profanity from her two cradle languages that way. This contrasts very starkly with the euphemisms she usually models from us. (“Goodness me!” “Oh my goodness!”)
What have yours (or those you’ve been around) been up to?
My stepson was about 13 and addicted to Lost when the schedule changed so that it was now on after his bedtime. We had a big argument about how no, he couldn’t stay up late just to watch a TV show on a school night. No, not even for half of it. No, nor for ten minutes. No, nor even for one single minute. Yes, one single minute IS that important. Really. No, really. Yes, we’re being serious. You don’t have to believe us, but that’s how it is. No, we’re not joking.
That’s when he stormed off, screamed “WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO HARD???!!” and slammed his door. My wife and I at least manage to stifle our laughs so he didn’t hear.
The Littlest Briston, now six, picking up a bag of screws lying on the table: “Daddy! Don’t you know you shouldn’t leave dangerous things like this lying around? You have a kid in the house!”
My son (I call him the Boy) is 4 and he cracks me up all the time. I drop him and his sister off at school, typically I drop her off first, then I have to drive around the school into the alley and drop him off at pre school (same school, different building). So I drop her off and I say things like “I love you, have a good day, listen to your teachers, do good work, have fun.” So the Boy gets out and starts walking into his building and he says “Bye dad, listen to your boss!”
I have another one that I posted on my mostly-defunct blog from when my daughter was almost two and started saying the dreaded “S” word with hilarious results.
My youngest niece who is just learning to talk says, “my do, my want” when someone tries to take something away from her or make her do something. It’s funny.
My daughter (4.5 yrs) watched the Nutcracker from the tech booth with me this weekend. Throughout the show she kept asking “Where’s the puppy?” After the show this conversation ensued:
“Daddy, there was no puppy in the Nutcracker.”
“Of course not, sweetie. Why did you think there would be?”
“Well, before the show you said, ‘Let’s get this puppy started.’”
I was babysitting for a friend’s 2 children, who were 4 and 5. Tyhe older one was picking on his brother so I I gave him a mild scolding…after which he looks at me and in his best Buggs Bunny voice says " Well… ain’t I a stinker".
I love this thread so far, every one has had me chortling!
My own kids’ contributions:
Daughter, age 1-1/2: runs through our living room, passes by a toy telephone, and stops to pick up the receiver to have a one-sided imaginary conversation: “Hello? No. No… OK. OK, bye!” She hangs up and begins to continue on her way to the stairs. But of course I had to ask: “Who were you talking to?” “Oh - wrong number.”
Son, age 2: runs through the kitchen at a kid’s party where someone has spilled some soda, and my wife is behind him coming to clean it up with a paper towel. “Hey!” she yells as he approaches the pool of soda, freezing him in place; “Don’t run through the spill! Go around it!”
He looks back her, sighs, and then makes a big show of going around the puddle. As in, doing a full 360 degree circumnavigation of it. The snark is strong in this one…
Much more recently, last year my 11-year-old daughter was doing a school report on Mars and pondered the hardships involved in sending a manned mission there. We looked it over when she was done. One of her listed challenges for the astronauts: “There would be no bars.” No bars? I read this out loud to my wife and she looked back at me, equally puzzled. So my daughter helpfully clarified, “You know, they wouldn’t be able to call anyone back on Earth.” (Note: she didn’t even have her own cell phone yet at this age!)
I was totally picturing astronauts sighing for the drinks they left behind.
…
My own contribution: my son, when 2, was in the hilarious habit of identifying every large and scary-looking picture or sculpture as “daddy”. He did this in the museum. He was looking at a gigantic, fearsome pre-Columbian scuplture of a god, when his eyes lit up, he toddled forward with pointing finger extended, and loudly called out: “Daddy! Daddy!”.
Everyone in that room laughed. No, son, you are not a demi-god, whatever you may think …
Another one: a year or two later he asked where babies came from. I told him, but I guess not all of the details registered. Later he saw an obese man walking down the street and loudly said: “oh boy, he must have ten babies inside him!”
I had my office xmas party today and managed to bring a decent lot of left-overs home (any night when I don’t have to cook after work is a good one).
We put some beef & ham, potato & salad on a plate for my 3 1/2 year old son’s dinner.
He was most appreciative, unfortunately he’s still at an age when he gets a bit too much in his mouth at once and it makes him gag & then vomit.
Well tonight that happened and as I heard him start I stuck my hand out to catch it (I’m easier to wash than the carpet and, well, I’ve had worse than a bit of sick on me in the last few years).
The end result is I’m sitting there with a hand-full of this stuff while my wife is getting a towel to clean up with.
My son makes a close inspection of my hand and asks in a very curious way: “Is that cucumber?”
My 5-year-old son is watching Disney’s Beauty and the Beast at the part where the Beast is dying. My son asks my wife, “Is this real?”. My wife says “No, it is just pretend.” My son says “Oh, he is really good at pretending.”
The Dudeling (2.1) seems to have developed an affinity for John Stewart. We have a wall-mounted HP Touch in the kitchen, and often catch up on the Daily Show and Colbert Report while prepping dinner. Except recently he’s started throwing fits when we put on Steven “NO STEVEN COLBERT!! DAILY SHOW! DAILY SHOW!” Fits with tears and everything. We have no idea where it came from–we were in Steven’s studio audience for his premier week; we’re definitely fans of both. There are even times now where he’s in a causeless, teary fit and we can say “Daily Show” and he’ll calm right down.
We’re dying to get some of it on video. Clearly for rules we’re just learning as new parents, this would violate some fundamental law of physics so it won’t happen.
We recently moved my brother’s office from the middle floor to the basement, so my brother is much further away from “the action” at his house now.
When my niece (2 years) was at my parents’ house the other day, she started walking around saying “WHAAAAT?” and laughing. They say she did it for like a half hour.
Apparently this is how communication works at my brother’s house now. Both he and his wife calling up or down stairs and the other saying “WHAAAAAAT?” Now their daughter is a perfect parrot
I’m a painting contractor/decorative painter, and for one client I painted a sky-blue ceiling with clouds in a kid’s room…pretty standard stuff. She called me later to tell me that her three-year-old son pointed to the (real) sky shortly after I did his room, and asked if “Miss Painter” had painted the clouds on it.
My kids always say hilarious things. Especially my son. He’s just so…earnest.
Anyway, he is very exicted about Christmas so we listen to Christmas songs in the car on the way home from daycare. Whenever a religious Christmas song comes on, he excitedly shouts:
“Jesus!”
from the backseat. It is hard to keep a straight face.
I’ve got a cell phone and I know what the indicators on it are for, but I only use it for emergencies. I had to re-read that paragraph several times before I figured it out.
I guess I’m just not “with it” and probably never will be! :dubious:
