It is truly pointless and mundane. Painfully so, but I knew when I heard it that I had to post it.
The other night, my nine-year-old came skipping through the living room. She was on one of those sing-song jags where a four or five word phrase becomes a twisted mantra and I was just about to ask her to take it elsewhere when I actually heard what she was singing.
‘Stuart Little and
Malcolm Young’
(she repeated it about twelve times for me…stuartlittleandmalcolmyoung<breath>stuartlittleandmalcolmyoung…)
When I asked her why she had chosen those two names (Stuart Little is a talking mouse and Malcolm Young is a guitarist for AC/DC), she replied that the two names sounded very nice together and that both of them were ‘cute’ in a strange way.
I found it amusing. Hope you did too. (Thanks, Behind the Music.)
My daughter must be entering the pre-pre-teen age. I can’t watch anything or go anywhere with her without her asking me if I think some boy/man is ‘cute.’
Yesterday…it was Victor Borge.
Malcom Young? Cute? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…that begs an explanation. I dunno, I just never really pictured him as cute.
But, while I’m here, I’ll share a story of my own. When my sis was little, she had a little toy car, with a steering wheel, horn, the works. One day, she went out driving with my Mom. That night, my Dad walks in and hears her in the other room, playing with the car. What he heard was reason for a bit of alarm.
Well…I don’t know about old Malcolm. The jury’s out on that one…I think the bright side to that scenario is that she is developing unique tastes and is able to see beauty in…oh nevermind. I guess I think Malcolm has some charm too.
So she gets it from me. I admit it.
My youngest child thought that everyone is our small town was related. Thought they were all of the Moron family. I, too, need to watch what I say when I drive.
Chris, I can see now what my threads OUGHT to be about…
A few years ago, when my son was about 3, he was taking a bath.
He said, “Mommy, I think my butts broke; its got a crack in it.”
I wondered if hew as joking or not, he’s so wacky I never know.
But on a awwwww note; today he said he wanted an old bus we saw that was broken down. He said we could put it in the back yard and let homeless people stay there.
vanilla, that is sweet. Sounds like you’ve got a nice little guy there. My youngest asked me if I had Christmas Spirit today. I said I thought I did. When I asked him if he did, he said, “Are you kidding? I AM Christmas Spirit.”
This is a true story, although I realize it’s also a standard joke.
When my kids were little and we were driving somewhere, my then-five-year-old pointed out a stoplight and asked me what the lights meant. I told her that the green light meant “go” and the red light meant “stop”…
and my then-seven-year-old piped in and said “and the yellow light means go very-very-fast!”.
(I should mention that my daughters are now sixteen and eighteen, are both driving, and seem to have retained their approach to yellow lights. Probably all my fault, too…)
WillGolf, that sounds like something my dad would do. I remember when my brother asked him what speed bumps were for and he answered that they were so blind people knew where the stop signs were.
My little guy is now largely a big smart-ass. Before he entered that stage, however, he has had some funny questions. To wit:
He: “Mom, where’s my top?”
Me: “Top? What do you mean, your shirt?”
He: “No, I mean my top. I know where my bottom is, so where’s my top?”
After a choking/coughing fit:
Me: “You okay? Something go down the wrong pipe?”
He: “Which one’s the right one?”
My personal favorite, entirely smart-ass and entirely my influence – this happened after his breaking a bowl on my parents’ coffee table. He wouldn’t tell anyone what happened, and my dad started grilling him.
Grandpa: “What happened in there? What were you doing that broke the bowl?”
Boy: “I don’t want to tell you.”
Grandpa: “Well, you better tell me if you don’t want to get into more trouble. Now. I want to know what happened.”
Boy: ::BUUUUUUURRRRP:: “That’s all you need to know.”
For the record, he did get into trouble for his smart mouth. Then I went into the bathroom and laughed myself silly.
That reminds me of the wonderful TAxi episode where Jim is taking his cab drivers test.
“What does the yellow light mean?”
“Slow down!”
“Whhaaaaaaatttttt dooooooeeeessssss…”
ha ha
Definitely. One of those rare skits that get funnier every time you see them. Every time I’ve had to take a driver’s exam, I repeat the whole thing under my breath.
When we got our P.T. Cruiser, it took us a good month to convince my son that it wasn’t a limo. I thought it was funny, but my husband did not.
Same son was the one who asked if P.T. stood for toilet paper.
I have one that got ME into trouble. My daughter would frequently complain “my stomach hurts”. I taught her the differnce between where your stomach is and where your intestines are and that they hurt in different places. Different places, different things wrong.
So she asks why your actual stomach would hurt and I told her a few good reasons. Ok, so why do your intestines hurt? Because you have either gas or diarrhea. What’s “dimoneaa”? It means you have the shits hon. This worked quite well. Until…
I received a phone call from her second grade teacher. Seems that she had complained that her intestines hurt. The teacher was taken by surprise and asked “What does that mean?” My daughter replied…“I’ve got the shits.”
Probably not the worst thing that teacher ever heard a student say, I’ll bet. Hey, at least your daughter was paying attention, right? Reminds me of the joke about Winnie the Shit…
