Eohippus, that was classic. I hope all you parents are writing down these great anecdotes.
BTW, I feel honored that your first post was to my thread. Welcome to the asylum. Hope to see more of you. 
Struuter, the honor is all mine.
With 3 kids ages 13,10 and 4, my parents have enough for a stand-up routine
Sounds like my house. 
When my now teenagers were 4 I would put them in the tub together and bath them at the same time. One day my son became very alarmed.
“Oh no, mommy.” He exclaims. “What’s the matter?” I ask. He points to his sister, “Bunny’s penis is broken!”
Reminds me of that joke, “Heck no! Look what you did to yours!”
My 3 year old boy got a book about a month ago called “The Humongous Book of Dinosaurs”. I told him that ‘humongous’ meant ‘very big’. A couple of weeks later he told me, “Daddy, when I grow up, I’m going to be humongous.”
Bill, when my son was about 6 we decided to let him play D&D with us. My husband wanted him to have a very simple character to cut his teeth on–and came up with the idea of his being an animal companion to my character. Looking through the Monstrous Manual, my husband asked, “What about a cat?”
“A cat? What’s so special about a cat?”
My husband had him read up on it and my son came back after a little while with this classic line, “Have you read about that cat? That cat is EQUIPPED.”
Maybe we’re the only ones who think it’s funny, but we still laugh about his choice of words. You just gave your son the gift of a really cool word. He’ll have the other kids’ head reeling.
My not-quite-three year old daughter was in the car with us during a trip to our friends’ house. A large semi-truck that was travelling in the opposite direction blasted its horn as it passed us under an overpass. My daughter exclaimed, “hey dat twuck farted!”
My wife, while glaring at me as the person who was obviously responsible for her making such a comment, explained that the truck hadn’t “farted.” After a few seconds of silence, she then speculated, “maybee the twuck MAN farted den!”
Getting more and more agitate, my wife further clarified that it was the truck’s horn. "Oh, the twuck’s horn farted?
" she then asked.
I kept trying to change the subject, since it seemed each comment she made go me in deeper trouble. (Part of the perils of being the only one in the house that pees standing up). But just when I was getting close to smoothing things over, I began to realize how funny it all was and my laughter got me back into the frying pan. Oh well, at least it wasn’t a boring car ride.
Great story! I’m usually the one who gets blamed for ‘teaching’ my kids the stuff that later comes back to embarrass me. Yes, blamed by my husband–the man who can turn any song into a ditty about flatulance. Feh.
I’d have laughed too.
talk about having to censor your language…
I was walking along in the house, and accidently rammed my toe into the doorframe. So I cut lose with a long string of profanity, hoping I haven’t broken it.
Then, my darling son and daughter, 2.5 and 1.5,suddenly chimed in with “Fook” and “Fu” respectively.
sigh Sometimes I don’t like being a parent.
I’ll pass this anecdote about my son on from his grandma, who swears it is true.
when he was about two or three years old, he was at Gimme’s house (hijack: my mom decreed at Chef Jr.'s birth that she would be known as Gimme, reasoning that any grandson would be saying “Gimme gimme gimme” to her all day long anyway) and she was doing something that involved scotch tape while Chef Jr. watched TV in the same room. Chef Jr. walked over and helped himself to a piece of scotch tape, which he stuck to the TV screen. Just as mom was about to chew him out for that, he turned to her with a look that (she says) clearly indicated he knew he was making a joke, and said, “I’m taping this show.”
When we were first married, we kept our boat in a local marina, and moored across from us was a couple, John and Pat, who lived aboard with their son, 5, and daughter, 3. My husband was over talking to John when 3-year-old Bonnie planted herself in front of my hubby and announced: “Daddy has a penis and Nicky has a penis but I have a vagina!” Then she turned on her heel and went into the cabin of their boat.
About 5 years later, close to Christmas time, we had wrapped our daughter’s gifts and hidden them in the top of our closet for “Santa” to deliver. Our ever-observant child caught sight of the boxes and asked “Who are those for?” Not satisfied with our evasive answer, she persisted: “Are they for someone little and four?”
Thank you all for sharing your great stories. I have heard tales from my parents of the clever things I said as a tot and often wondered what happened to me since. I can only hope my kids retain their unique senses of humor. They are, by far, funnier than anything on t.v.
I watch CNN a lot, and some guy from Newsweek came on. His name: Mark Hosenball.
We (my son, me, my dad) just thought this was a hilarious name.
Now, anytime I want my son to laugh, I just say hosenball.
(poor guy, he can’t help being named that)
My 3 year old is really into dinosaurs. (As a side note, it just amazes me how much and how quickly they learn; he knows the names of maybe 50 dinosaurs, and those are some big words).
Yesterday, he was watching some TV show and they were talking about the game “Duck Duck Goose”. This morning he comes up to me and asks me if I want to play “Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Tyrannosaurus Rex”.
Little kids are just a laugh a minute!
When my eldest son (now 6) was three he said one of the funniest things to date. Dad was on the lying on the bed sans a shirt. My son points at daddy’s chest and says ‘Mommy, what are those?’ to which I replied, ‘Those are daddy’s nipples, sweetie.’
A few days later Nate was looking at his chest and inquired, ‘Mommy, if Daddy has nickles, do I have pennies?’ Daddy and I laughed at this one for days.
[sub]Nate thought I said Daddy had nickles instead of nipples, btw.[/sub]
Bill, when my oldest was 3 he was big into dinosaurs as well. It really is amazing how a little mouth can find its way around those big words. He’s not into them so much any more, he’s 12, but he still remembers most of them. BTW, the best was listening to him recite ‘The Jabberwocky.’
No one could understand what he was saying but me.
Juanita, that is an awesome story. Good thing he didn’t ask what you have then?
He’s 15 months old, and while he can say Mama & Dada really well, the rest is just jibberish.
I call my son BabyGuy, because, well, he’s a guy, not just a child of the male persuasion. He likes women, fire, and engines.
He got some little toy cars for Christmas. He was playing with them this morning, and I looked at him and said “Whatcha got there? Cars?” He looked up at me and with a big ol’ grin on his face said “car!” plain as day.
He’s a guy, I’m tellin’ ya!
There was a spell in my marraige where my wife and I would argue a lot. One of her frequent parting shots was “You make me so FUCKING MAD…”
So one time when Mrs. Tonk was particularly upset with me about something and yelling and screaming at me, my son who was 4 or 5 at the time walked in and said:
“Mom, are you mad?”
“No, I’m not mad.” she replied, trying to calm his concern and regain her composure.
My son, seeing that my wife was still agitated despite her quick denial, continues to inquire:
“Mom, are you FUCKING?”
It was great. And it was SO hard not to laugh.
Congratulations, Persephone! I’m honored that I got to hear about it. Wow…I still remember my oldest’s first words. Something you don’t forget. Although sometimes I wish they’d forget how to talk…<slap my hand, bad mother.>
Still, it’s so cool to watch a little brain work like that and figure stuff out on it’s own. Good for you.
honkytonk…well, I gotta admit that my kids have heard a few ‘choice’ words from their father and me. My youngest son asked me once when he would be old enough to say bad words. I told him that probably when he grew up he would be such a nice, patient, polite person that he would need to swear. He said that everybody needed to swear sometimes. And so I got to thinking that little kids really do have as many crappy things happen to them as adults do and it bugs them just as much…so why don’t they have a few swear words of their own? I know, I know…I a nutcase. But in a strange way it makes sense. Or maybe not.