Hee hee, these are great! Here’s two more:
The niece is in Sunday School; they are learning about the Sermon on the Mount. The teacher speaks of Jesus riding on his ass. Niece, shocked, exclaims “You can’t say that!” When asked to elaborate, she says, “You should say ‘he rode on his BUTT!’”
The nephew is using his new word for the day: broad. “This broad said to me and I told him; that broad let me play with his trucks…” Mother gently explains that broad is not a nice thing to call someone, and anyway, broads are girls. Nephew thinks a moment, then says, “Oh! So that’s why the priest says ‘You may now kiss the broad!’”
Gotta love 'em.
Myron, those are awesome! From this point on I will never trust myself at a wedding. I just know a fit of giggling will overtake me.
Your first story is like the joke about the priest who said that any subject was covered in the Bible. A woman in the congregation asked about PMS. The priest thought for a moment and said, “In the story of Jesus’ birth is says something about PMS. It says that Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethleham.”
Not the best joke, I know. Maybe I just stick with letting my kids be clever…
My mom shared a cute kid story with me today. Heidi, one of her co-workers, has a three year old niece who came to visit for New Year’s. When Heidi told her niece that they were going to see fireworks, the little girl asked, “That’s like a rainbow with noise, right?”