I pre-paid for my cremation today but not with the people who wanted to give me a freebie. The people I signed up with promised to make certain I was dead before they sent me out in a blaze of glory. I have to admit though that decapitation AND a stake through the heart might be a little extreme. Anyway, that’s one less thing my relatives will have to worry about.

I want to get cremated, too.

But my husband says that if he is still alive when I die, he won’t do it.

:: pout ::

Dental gold! The crematorium business makes a bit of money from re-selling dental gold …unless the relatives specifically request that it be returned to them. I wonder if they can check dental records online before offering free cremations? :slight_smile:

I just pre-paid a company to fling my corpse into space using a comically oversized catapult with flame decals on it. The catapult, not my corpse.

Actually on second though… brb gotta make a phone call

Search for “instead of cremation”.

There’s being frozen in liquid nitrogen and shattered into powder. There’s being dissolved in sodium hydroxide. Fake website about “compaction.” Have your ashes made into a handful of pencils. Or into a yellow-brown diamond. No mumification services anywhere though.

“Oregon Whale Beach Funeral” is where you’re laid out on a bier of high explosives, with the funeral party upwind a quarter mile away. A member of the bereaved family gets to push the little button.

Me, I want to be frozen, then hammered into the ground as a fertilizer spike. Maybe need to sharpen my head first. But such services aren’t available, so why not Tibetan Sky Burial (see photos)

Good on you for taking that step. We are all going to die sometime, so I think its best that we plan for it.

In my case, after all of my usable parts are given to people who needs them, the worthless meat will be creamated and the ashes loaded into a shotgun, then fired over my favorite hunting ground. This could cause problems because I aspire to be a cougar and it might upset the patrons in the bar.

Are you kidding? With all that oil in your system the cremation oven will probably ignite and burn out of control!

I wear dentures; not a speck of gold to be found. My wore out old body is worth even less, now that I think about it.

You’re my heroine!

My parents had the whole family set for cremation years ago.

The company went out of business late last year. :frowning:

Crap! Okay, maybe I should be freeze-dried?

As Worf (TNG) said: “When I die do whatever you want with my body. I’m through with it.”
Me? I’ve donated my dead ass to science. (Yes, and the rest of me also!)

In some movies I’ve seen, this is what actually triggers the spontaneous combustion.

I always figured that was a scam. Diamonds are made of carbon, of which there should be very little in cremation ashes, having all been oxidized into C02 and gone up the chimney. They take your ashes, give your family a cheap discolored diamond and keep the difference.

I want my useable parts to be used, and the rest can go for research. I don’t want my family spending money on a plot or a box or any of those trappings - let me be useful beyond the very end and remember me however you wish. I’ll be done with the carcass anyway.

The phrase “worthless meat” made me laugh.

I sold a gold-capped tooth that had been pulled. Got a little over $9 for it. So if they’re selling it, they’re not getting rich on it.

Mom says that she has written plans that say hers are to be removed. If I’m at all in charge, I’ll be voting for don’t bother.

On a different topic, I sent away online for information from Eternal Reef. They’ll take your cremains and mix them with concrete to make . . . have you ever played jacks? It looks a bit like a four or five foot jack. Your relatives can leave handprints and messages on it. Then it goes out to sea as part of an expanding reef habitat.

And once they have your email address, they’ll keep sending you these cheery little messages about joining their happy family.

Can cremains be mixed with clay and fired? If so, I’d like to be turned into a sculpture of a dropped ice cream cone (soft serve). I saw one, once, and it just seemed to represent Ephemeral Life.

I’m donating my body to Science Fiction!

Actually I’m a tissue and organ donor plus a cadaver donor. (Maximum use of the meat!) So about a year or 18 months after I’m really most sincerely dead, my girls will get my ashes from the med school. Seems like the best way to me.

From there, I’m fertilizer. Just keep spreading it even after I’m gone!

I’ve got to check out the organ harvesting; I am a registered organ donor and if my ancient body harbors parts that someone might need I don’t want to deprive them. I can’t imagine what those parts might be, though.

I wish to be ripped apart by clumsy medical students learning how to… become less clumsy.

Would it be legal to do something like this with human ashes?