Crisis of Contentment

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

They say us old farts have to die in order to make room for the next generation.
Well, I’ve seen, (and heard), the next generation, and I’ve decided I ain’t goin’!

I dearly love owls Screech, but I’m not so much troubled with mice and such, due to all the neighbor’s cats thinking they live here, so I’m trying to encourage bats instead, much to my wife’s chagrin.

I’ve had that “meh” feeling at the Home Depot for a while now, to the point that I’m considering selling some of the larger woodworking tools, since I can’t afford any decent wood to work anyway, but I’m not far enough gone for that yet.
Besides, the old avarice still shows itself when I venture into a hobby shop, so there’s still hope.

I was feeling like Swampy myself last week, well not that much like Swampy, but in the sniffling, coughing, “I need drugs now, dammit!” depatment. I’m down to a stuffy nose now, with hopes that my sense of taste will come back soon.

Tanookie, Herself drug me into a Babies R Us store last year shortly after Number Five Grandchild made his appearance, since it’s apparently a cardinal rule that the Grandparents should have at least as much baby paraphanalia as the Parents, and and all I could say was “Yowzer! them’s some wicked prices!”
I’m glad the kids are through with this procreating business.

I don’t have any pink flamingos my self, nor any garden gnomes, but I find myself strangely attracted to gargoyles. I’d like to mount some on the corners of the roof of our house. Perhaps with little gargoyle-sized machine guns. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

*Aside to FCM: check this out. :smiley:

22

You’re giving people the wrong idea about BoRics there Swampy. OK, say hair cutting is a Professional Sport. Specifically baseball. BoRics would be like the farm team. No, more like a T-ball team. It’s where the hair cutting people go right after they get done with hair cutting school. Once they know which end of the scissors to grab, they’re ready for BoRics. Then, when they get good, they leave for some other joint that pays them more. You know, the kind of salon that offers you cappucino when you walk in. Unless that’s not the coffee, but the little monkey. Maybe there are salons that offer you a monkey for coming in, but I can’t think that would help you get good hair. I mean there would be monkeys all over the place. While monkeys are fun, especially in a barrel-like venue, they wouldn’t make good hair stylists. They could pick the lice out of your hair, but I, personally don’t have lice, so I don’t need a monkey picking through my thick, luxurious locks.

Sorry about the plastic owl Screech, but I’m trying to keep birds away from my porch so they don’t poop on it. An owl, while cool, is not known for their lack of pooping. Actually, I went to one of those Raptor Rehabilitation places and I saw an owl poop. It wasn’t a big owl and it wasn’t a little poop. Not really intrested in having an owl making itself at home on my porch. And Lucy is just little. The owl could eat her. Yeah, they owl would have some powerful indigestion, but my little dog would still be eaten. I hope you understand.

Just going to the golf store is one of the biggest signs of unwellness, so I’m sorry lieu but you will definitely not “gonna be okay”. If I knew where you lived I’d send your family a sympathy card. I might be tempted to have an Intervention for you, but really that sounds like a lot of work. The card is the easier way to go, so I figure I’d go that way.
-Rue. (easy and louse-free)

23

I like my idea of BoRics better. Much more fun. Ok, maybe not quite as true but more funner anyways. Bumba I’m glad you’re feeling better. I hope to be in a few days. Dang cold! Dang ruining my fun I was gonna have! Dangit!Dangit!Dangit!

And as if ruining my missing FCM’s Floridope goodbye wasn’t enough, I get a call from a friend wanting to take me out to dinner tonight at my favorite just plain ol’ good food place. I declined because of my cold because it makes me feel miserable and not like going out to eat. And if that weren’t enough, tonight is all you can eatpork chop night! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Dang stoopid cold! I’m going home and take more Benadryl and sleep instead. Cause whether I want to or not, I have to be at work! I am the only one who can sign checks who will be in the office all week. BTW I have done nothing productive at all all day except sign some checks. I’m sneezy and sniffly and head achey and stuffy and grumpy!

Dang cold! DANGITDANGITDANGIT!!!

24

Bumb - you taunt me! How cruel is that?!?!? <sigh>

But I like your gargoyle idea - I must incorporate that into the new house design…

I get my hair cut in cheap places - 'cause I have cheap hair, and I don’t need foo-foo stylists or coffee or monkeys. Pretty much I tell them to take what I have and make it shorter. And they do. And I’m happy.

Yep, I’m Happy, and apparently swampy is the rest of the dwarves. :D:D:D

25

Rue - owl poop is bad enough, but vulture vomit is worse (which is why I have two cars - one (was) for rehab transport, and the other was for good. Kinda like have playclothes and your good clothes. Of course I don’t play much anymore, so they could be considered more as laundry clothes [uglyassin clothes that you wear while you are doing laundry, which could actually contain your good clothes – that of course would be ugly-as-sin clothes, though they could also be ugly-assin clothes] than play clothes).
Bumbazine - Oooooooooooooooooooh, bats!!! Cutie little bug-eaters, aren’t they!!! Good luck with the bats. Check out Bat Conservation International (based out of Texas) for lots of info on encouraging bats.

Bats: Biology and Behavior by John D. Altringham (Oxford University Press). Very technical book, but quite interesting (to me, at least).

I can NOT find my 2 volume set of Walker’s Guide to Mammals anywhere - $200 book gone. I currently am peeved as all get out. Good information on mammal species, especially bats and ungulates.

26

But… don’t they scream when you nail their feet to the fence-post on your deck?

I’ve also seen the plastic ones hanging from rooftops on chains that run into their heads. That seems a little unnecessarily cruel for a real owl, dontcha think?

27

Eats_Crayons - you cracked me up!! :D:D:D I almost choked on my broccoli!

28

SMARTASS!!! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Trust me, you do NOT want to be on the receiving end of those talons and beak if you try to nail one down. Although I always wondered about what birds think when the see a closed owl (wings closed tight to the body), looking like it should be sitting on a branch, but it’s hanging from a wire in the middle of the roof overhang. Birds fly, they do not levitate (I doubt that they studied with a Maharishi in India).

29

I used to have a nice little owl of some sort who’d hang out over the back door of my classroom. I was very glad to trade the occasional pellet for all the darned pigeon mess, yeup.

Prom season always makes me wince. I had the most truly ugly prom dress in all of creation. Bright peach satin. Poofy sleeves, knee-length and a ruffle. Did I mention I was fat? Had spiky eighties hair? Yeah, I looked like a lampshade from Fashion Don’ts R Us. I went with a kinda sorta friend and was horribly uncomfortable the whole time. Too embarrassed over the dress to even consider dancing, I just sat around and sucked up strawberry daquiries. My date and I went to Carl’s Jr. for dinner and I was home by eleven. Now I just sit back and am amazed at how much better my students are at that sort of thing than I was. They may not be able to do long division, but man, they can dress.

You gotta love the little bats! For the longest time I thought they were the craziest birds, out swooping around at night. Duh, they’re bats eating insects. Screechowl, did you loan your books to someone? It’s very easy to lose track of books that way. Someone has my copy of Geek Love and I have no idea whom. Not quite the same as a spensive set of Mammal Guides though. What do you guide the mammals to do, I wonder?

Ashes, not wearing peach, totally batless.

30

You’ve been to Applebee’s too?
As far as the contentment goes, I managed to spend over $100.00 at Barnes & Noble recently so no worries there.
-dwyr
also not wearing peach and totally batty

31

Ashes, Ashes if it makes ya feel any better, it coulda been worse. I coulda been your prom date. Course this woulda meant you had to go to the prom in 1972, but picture your prom date in this outfit:

Powder blue tux, ruffled front white shirt with powder blue piping on the ruffles, a black satin bowtie. The jacket had black satin lapels (w-i-d-e lapels). The trousers had black satin stripes down the outside seams. A powder blue cumberbund (cummerbund?)with black piping around the edges. Black nylon socks and black patent leather shoes.

Imagine that showing up at your front door. Oh did I mention the “I was a teenage werewolf” hair with mutton chop sideburns?

Feeling any better now? :smiley:

[sub]There may be pictures of this somewhere. I think my sister may be holding them for future blackmail purposes[/sub] :eek:

32

sniff sniff I never went to any prom. I didn’t date till I was almost 20. Poor me. Poor, sad me. sniff sniff

33

But dear, you’re prom date woulda showed up looking like me circa 1972. That oughta be some consolation right there. :smiley:

34

At least, swampy, if I’d had a date dressed like you, it would have made me look good by comparison!

Not that I’m bitter or anything. After all, it was more than 30 years ago. I got over it. No, really, I did.

Stupid proms, anyway…

35

I don’t know if we have real owls around here, and I’m pretty sure we have bats (we do have ungulates, we keep them in our medicine cabinet in case of cuts or burns) but what we don’t have is squirrels. Not that I really miss having squirrels, but I thought they were pretty much everywhere. Everywhere but here apparently. Which means my finch feeder would be safe. Only I don’t have a finch feeder anymore since the squirrel destroyed it at the old house. Now I don’t have a finch feeder or squirrels.

I have seen kestrels on the phone wires around here. And hawks (I’m not sure what kind) and turkey vultures. There’s a bunny that’s been living in my front yard for a couple of weeks. They’re like squirrels, only they don’t climb trees and tear up finch feeders. There are deer around here, but unlike squirrels, they really are everywhere.

And I never went to Prom either. It’s just the way it went.

36

That would be true. Even if you wore a prom dress like Ashes, Ashes :smiley:

I think I have an armadillo burrowing in my front yard again! See last time I found all these holes in my front yard it was an armadillo, so I suspect I got me another one. Stupid armadillo!

Oh, and I’m feeling better. Thanks for worrying.

37

I think I’ve got a snacking armadillo here too. But since it’s not my house any longer and I’ll be gone in less than a month, I don’t much care. Except when I go to mow, I have to watch for little ankle-twisting holes. Stoopit armadillos.

Yet another reason I’ll be glad to leave FL.

Non prom anecdote: in 8th grade, Craig Taborsky took me to the graduation dance. And by that, I mean he bought the tickets and we met at the school (I caught a ride with my best friend.) The dance had been billed as “semi-formal” and in 1968, we (Mom and I) assumed that meant “not floor length, but still nice” so my mom bought me the foofy pink lacy dress with a petticoat. I’m sure I was quite the sight. Then we got to the dance and most were just wearing Sunday-go-to-meetin’ dresses there were some girls there in shorts.

Yeah, I felt ever-so-slightly out of place. I never saw Craig again, either. Wonder what became of him??

38

To this day, whenever anybody mentions the word “prom” I feel a little guilty. I didn’t go, mostly because I hated high school, intensely disliked my classmates, and figured I’d have a much better time at work (seriously).

I did get asked though. Looking back, I figure the poor girl really had to screw up her courage to ask me, because I wasn’t really the most approachable guy (being a standoffish geek and all). She went through a lead-up of a couple of weeks, asking if I had a date yet, etc., and finally just came out and asked. She was a really nice girl, and very cute, and I turned her down flat. I didn’t go to her graduation party either. I just didn’t want anything to do with any of it at the time. Hell, I still don’t. I don’t go to reunions either.

I found out much later that she wasn’t just looking for a prom date. She really liked me and wanted a relationship with me, which wasn’t a possibility I had considered. I mean, really, who wants to be with a standoffish geek?

She went with somebody else, and it turned into a long term thing. The last I heard, more than 10 years ago, the relationship had become abusive. She had the self-resect to get out, but that left her alone, a single mother, and right on the bitter edge of poverty.

I don’t know that I could have changed any of that by going to the prom with her, of course, but I still feel a little guilty.

39

Ex ol’ buddy look at it this way. Even if you had gone to the prom with her, I doubt things would have changed that much. I am assuming you went away to college and stuff after high school. I am also assuming that she stayed in the same town, married (or whatever) the guy and had kids. That probably would have happened anyway.

Besides, my prom date went to the prom with a boy who turned out gayer than a debutante on holiday in Paris. I wonder if she ever thinks, “geez, one date with me and look what happened?*” :eek:

[sub]*ok three dates. prom, grad party and post grad party. the gay thing, though already there, really took root freshman year in college. Ok, one way TMI touchy feely post in the MMP. Maybe I need to quit taking cold medicine.[/sub]

40

I wore a parti-coloured cotehardie to my highschool best friend’s prom. It’s a 14th century fitted dress, with tight sleeves and a flaring skirt. The right side was purple/green shot silk, and the left was plain black silk. Silver buttons.

My boyfriend wore tails that he’s retailored himself. Talented guy. He made my grad prom dress- black silk velvet with a more-than-full-circle skirt. It was gorgeous.

What?