Hah - I can make a better deal. 2 FULL GROWN CATS for that one little kitten. Can’t get a better deal than that!
What a cute little baby kitten! Baby! Baby! Baby! Ummm…no, I’m not hormonal or anything…
Susan
I have 4 full grown cats and I’ll throw in the dog too!
I don’t have cats, but I’m willing to ship both of my kids anywhere in the U.S. They’re not cats, but they’re a lot like cats in the fact that they usually don’t listen and lay around the house a lot. They’re also dog-like in the fact that they consume copious amounts of food, even if found on the floor.
You mean someone else has come up with artificial owl pellets? How am I going to fund my plans for world domination now? These cheese straws seem popular, maybe I’ll go with cornering the cheese straw market…
I made fancy crispy squares last night. I needed a way to use up some cereal and figured why not crispy squares? So I made the usual rice crispy squares, only one batch with corn flakes and pretzel pieces and another batch using honey graham chex plus a little cinnamon. I think Martha Stewart has already done this, but she didn’t add cinnamon and that’s what makes mine ever so much more superior.
Spaghettios and canned ravioli were some of my favorite things to eat, growing up. We would add cottage cheese which I gather may be a weird thing to do. So I judge not on the non-traditional shephard’s pie, Tanookie. Glad to see you’re off your p.
Uber baby kitties-- always good. When my monsters first came to me, I could hold both in my hand at once, so teeny were they.
Red Bull I’m afraid of. I bought some but I hear it tastes yucky, so I’m working up the courage to try it. It sits in my fridge and mocks me. Sounds kinda like Alan Rickman, so it’s not all bad.
Yes, that’s right, I actually have something important to say. Last night, I had a dream about Rue. And before you all start thinking dirty thoughts, it wasn’t that kind of dream. I was walking into Wall*Mart, which in itself is pretty weird as I haven’t been to one in years, and this shadowy character waved me over and introduced me to Rue. After a few minutes of witty banter (R: “Who the hell are you?” l: “Um, I post every once and a while in your MMP.” R: “No you don’t. I’ve never even seen you before.” l: “That’s because it’s on a message board.” R: “Oh.”)
So Rue and I grabbed these enormous, strangely shaped blue carriages (carts, whatever) and headed into the store to do some shopping. I asked him what he was looking for and he gave me this weird look and said, “Research.”
“Research?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, “Those MMPs don’t just write themselves.” And with that, he went off, followed by a group of bald people in orange robes and I turned into a piece of banana bread (I think - All I know is somebody wanted to eat me. It was pretty scary.).
Well, they don’t just write themselves you know.
Try it with Jagermeister (if you inbibe), the two tastes together make the otherwise not-so-yummy separate tastes quite palatable (and it’ll kick yer butt to boot!) 
’tool, funky dream…did you eat Spaghetti-O’s and cottage cheese before you went to bed last night?
that should have read “…(if you imbibe)”
But… but… I thought your genius flowed forth, making your fingers dance across the keys, transforming your mental musings into magical electronic signals that fill our screens with laughter and joy! Isn’t that how the whole MMP works? Don’t burst my bubble, Rue - it’s all I’ve got!
OK, so maybe I exaggerate a wee bit. 
I’m not even going to go for some kind of segue, but just toss in something completely different with no warning.
I have a confession to make. This whole sordid episode has been preying on my mind and weighing on my soul for years now, and I feel I must finally come forward and make a clean breast* of things.
Do you guys remember a long time ago when Rue started a thread with a title something like If You Open This Thread Without Posting A Reply A Puppy Gets An Electric Zap? Then he sort of backpedaled in the OP and said he was going to zap his dorky lab assistant instead of a puppy? Then people started arguing with him about his Views/Replies counting methods and claimed he was overzapping the puppy/lab assistant? Yeah, that one.
That was back before I registered, so obviously I couldn’t reply. I opened that sucker like once every 10 minutes. Zappin’ that puppy. Heh heh.
I am a bad man.
- Softball. High in the strikezone.
Well, in the interest of factual accuracy I must state that the dish is actually Ziploc Brand ware. I weigh the little sprouts every day to make sure they’re gaining and they’ll tip over like little fuzzy drunks unless I put them in something.
As to the generous feline offers, I must gracefully decline.
However if any of y’all will be passing through Ky round about the middle of June you can adopt an adorable furball for the measly price of a box of chocolates. (The good stuff.)
Oh, and $90-Humane Society rules you know.
And this…
is gonna bother me all night, I just know it.
Hmmmmmm.
[sup]Pssstt…Ex! We all know you’re really soft and squishy inside. It’s ok. 
[/sup]
Better yet, you can dissect them on-line!
Yes and NOPE!
Or you can buy Barn Owl Barf online!
Or for the budget-minded, the Economy-Sized Bulk Package!
I just had a severe attack of the gigglefits, imagining fuzzy drunk kittens.
And the owl side of me thought: Lunch! In a bucket!
(Don’t laugh. I brought home a Great Horned Owl once. The cat looked at it like “What the heck is that?” and the owl looked at her like “Dinner!”)
These threads are getting way too girly.
Kittens? We’re posting pictures of fargin’ kittens now? Cats are vermin. Just as a point of information: baby weasels are cute too. They grow up to be adult weasels, though, and you don’t want one of those things on your hands. Same deal with cats. The only reason they (the cats) don’t kill you in your sleep and eat you is that you are a way, way bigger predator, and they are justifyably afraid of you.
Get thee a dog. Incinerate the cats. That’s a rule for a happy life.
Just take your tailcoats and bodices and cats and go jump in a lake. I want to talk about power tools. Failing that, I want to discuss skeet shooting, my brother-in-law and his Dad’s six pound Royal Artillery cannon (repro), or hunting and fishing.
You guys are just too weird.
Hey, my cat tried to eat my big toe, with me still attached to it. She only stopped when she realized I am the only one in the house with opposable thumbs. She can’t open the cat food without me, and only I can operate the catbox scoop.
Now if you could create some cat-tery operated can opener and/or pooper scooper with all your brains and power tools (ha! slipped in the subject there for you!), you would have her admiration. Or, at the very least, an ankle covered in cat hair; she’s shedding a lot at the moment.
Back to the plastic owls. I remeber looking up at Briggs Hall at UCD once and seeing the pidgeons perching on the heads of the plastic owls that were meant to scare them away. It was then that I decided that stupidity was a profound force of nature not necessarily to be derided (sorry Cecil). The birds were just too dumb to understand that those plastic lumps were supposed to represent owls.
Oh, the owls were Plan B. Plan A had been designing the building to have windowsills that were too steeply angled to perch on. But there were also concrete fins to shade the windows and save energy. The pidgeons would fly to the join of the fin to the steep sill and build nests.
And please don’t fight the “do I really need this” urge. I’ve found that I don’t buy much if I just ask myself if I really want to dust or clean that. I have more than enough to maintain. Really. I’ve been getting rid of things just to free space and reduce the dusting.
Well, then, just do it, man! Sheesh! It’s a MMP - there are no rules and no continuity. You just jump in and offer an observation, related or otherwise.
Don’t make me hunt you down and smack you upside the head! Sheesh!
Woohoo!!! FairyChatMom is gonna get medieval on Exgineer’s head!!
FCM, are you gonna wear a cothardie or a houppelande??
Great. You know you are getting old when you have have your glasses on and still need to set your computer to “LARGE PRINT”. I thought Exgineer wrote “This thread is getting too GRISLY”!
I’m feeling much better now. Five days of being drugged up with various cold elixirs and remedies is finally paying off.
Ooh! Ooh! Remember waaaaaaaaay back in last week’s MMP when I said I was getting a cover for my new deck and a carport? The carport/cover guy was at my house yesterday with his crew and they put em up! The swampcave is looking ever so snazzy these days. This weekend I intend (with the help of four of my able bodied friends) to put up my new gazebo which is in a bazillion little parts in a box in my garage. So this is for Ex I’ll be using a power drill and screw driver to put it together. Then we have the manly task of picking the thing up and carrying it out to the pool, where it will be installed over the bar. Then I’m gonna use a concrete drill and concrete screws to anchor it down. It will involve power tools, sweating and possible grunting, not to mention the probable utterance of some choice profanity. That manly enough for ya?
I knew I could count on my buddy swampbear.
I’m afraid it’s hopeless Mom. The girly always seems to win around here. No matter what I do, we’ll end up back with the kittens and the bras and the mascara and the owl pellets and the glavin.
I’ve resigned myself.