Critics on Bloodrayne on rottentomatoes.com: that's entertainment!

I love it when a very bad film is released, because it gives critics the chance to really let go. ‘Bloodrayne’ is no exception; no surprise since it’s a video game adaption from Uwe Boll. His “film” 'House Of The Dead" may truly be least entertaining movie I have ever seen. Sounds like Bloodrayne is no exception to his body of work.

critics 6%: users:0%

Yes, ZERO percent from users.

I’m usually tempted to see movies with ratings this bad, because of the “so bad their good” concept, but after “House Of The Dead” I may have been cured of that habit.

Forgot to mention, I thought the Bloodrayne game on the PC was quite fun. Bloodrayne 2 made me give up in frustration, though. They screwed up a good thing, both with the movie and the game sequel, IMHO.

It’s a shame, really; both this and Alone in the Dark could’ve been acceptable movies if they’d been given to a competent director.

I’m not going to search for it right now, but I remember seeing a piece on SomethingAwful by one of the original scriptwriters for Alone in the Dark. Boll is apparently completely sincere in his belief that he’s making good movies.

Bwaaaaahahahahaha! From here:

“And then there’s Kingsley, sneering his way through a part that makes Ming the Merciless seem a masterpiece of subtlety.”

That stings.

“Madsen sounds like Mike Myer’s “SNL” character “Lothar of the Hill people”.”
– Joshua Tyler, CINEMABLEND.COM

My favorite so far:

BloodRayne fails as mindless entertainment and as eye candy, violating the basic laws of both vampire films and cheesy videogame adaptations: It can’t even suck right."

…BWAhhaaaa!!!

Wait, now I’m confused with the tomato rating system. Of the two “positive” reviews listed with tomatoes, reading into them gets me quotes like this:

“BLOODRAYNE isn’t as bad as you would expect it to be if you’ve seen his other films. But saying one of his films is better than the other is like saying that getting punched in the kidneys isn’t as bad as getting kicked in the balls. Both still hurt and you don’t want either.”

Ouch.

When I first saw an advertisement for Bloodrayne I thought it was going to be a made for TV type of thing or a Hercules/Xena type of series. Talk about crappy production values.

Marc

Where’s Earl Dittman’s inevitable declaration that the movie is “the first action HIT of the new year! You’ll be glued to your seat!”?

If it’s really this bad, I can’t wait for the Mr. Cranky review.

Someone pasted a poster for this movie on one of the most prominent trash cans on campus. That makes a lot of sense now…

According to IMDB, Master Uwe has a doctorate in literature from some school in Cologne or Siegen. They must be giving away diplomas.

If anyone is glued to their seat for Bloodrayne, it’ll be because that’s the only way to keep them in the theater.

Howard Tayler (of Schlock Mercenary) has this to say:

The full rant is well worth reading.

Ever since I found out that thanks to a loophole in the German Boll basically is doing a tax dodge for his creditors all became clear about where his budgets come from. We’re basically seeing a modern day Producers in action.

What I don’t understand is how he gets the casts he does. Seriously, Ben Kingsly? No amount of money can be worth the reputation hit. It certainly didn’t do Jurgen Prochnow, Christain Slater, and Tara Reid any favours.

Ben Kingsley also was in Species, a schlocky (but fun) sci-fi thriller in the mid-'90s. Michael Madsen was in that as well! It was a B-movie by anyone’s standards, but I’m sure a paycheck is a paycheck. Christopher Walken is a tremendous actor, but he seems to take any role, no matter how small or stupid, and no matter how bad the movies are.

Funny you should say that; my wife and I were talking about this last night. It doesn’t even look like it was filmed professionally; the images look as if they were shot with a personal camcorder.

As to this… Kingsley, I suspect, is simply following the tradition of professional British actors; “If it’s a starring role and a paycheck, take it.”

As Michael Caine said when asked why he agreed to be in a movie as horrible as Jaws: The Revenge, “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”

“Michael Madsen? Michelle Rodriquez? ‘I’ll take "Actors who should never appear in Period Pieces for $500 Alex.’”
-Fob Vaux, Flipside Movie Emporium

I really respect Uwe Boll for not crawling under a rock after his last few pictures.