Critique a letter of recommendation, please

We are moving to a new town next month, and I am leaving my current position. My boss has generously offered to give me a letter of recommendation for my job search, but wants me to write it myself, and she’ll put it on company letterhead and sign it. It’s surprisingly hard to write this myself, so I’d like your opinions: Too gushing, unprofessional, too long/short? Anything you’d change? Thanks in advance!*

[Lacunae] and I have worked together for several years now, first as colleagues at [Location X], and more recently, at [Location y]. I have been [Lacunae’s] supervisor at [Location Y] for over two years.

During our time working together, I have found [Lacunae] to be a dependable colleague and employee. She provides excellent customer service, making our hotel clients feel like welcome guests, while also ensuring that our balance sheets are properly tallied at the end of the day. Her position as night auditor also requires a certain level of creative problem solving - she is the only employee on duty overnight, and she must use her judgment to retain clients when problems do arise. Our customer feedback - in person, comment cards, and on-line surveys - often make especial mention of the fact that [Lacunae] is friendly, helpful, and hospitable.

Based on our several years of working together, I would recommend [Lacunae] unreservedly for any job requiring customer interaction. She is also very detail-oriented, and able to trace problems with a balance sheet. Her cash-handling, math, and written and verbal skills are very good, and she is a trustworthy employee and colleague.

If you need more information, I can be contacted at [phone #], extension 0 (zero).

Sincerely,
[Manager’s Name]
General Manager*

Why is he making you write it yourself? :dubious: IMO you should find another superior who will actually write it themselves.

She is really, really busy, but again, was kind enough to offer to sign a letter for me. No other superior to write it for me: She’s the general manager and co-owner, and the other owner is her husband - whose writing skills leave lots to be desired! (Although he has told me to please put him down as a professional reference.)

Nice people, just busy!

Kinda figured that was the reason. :slight_smile:

One bump, and then we’ll let it slip away painlessly…

That’s very good Lacunae. Professional, makes specific mention of customer feedback and observed behaviours, and it’s not gushy. I would hire you :slight_smile:

Her position as night auditor also requires a certain level of creative problem solving - she is the only employee on duty overnight, and she must use her judgment to retain clients when problems do arise and I trust her decision making skills implicitly.

That’s my input. Looks good!

I think that’s a very good letter, and I would be happy to sign it if I were your supervisor (assuming that I agreed with its judgments). Not gushy at all, but specifically points out your strengths.

L and I have worked together for X years,

We first worked together as colleagues at X; I have been L’s manager at Y since give date.

Waffle. Delete this.

L has been a …

L excels at customer service

New sentence next, because it’s a whole new function.

L ensures that our …

… when problems arise.

makes

especial note that …

or

particular note that …

Waffle. Delete this.

I recommend L for

oral, not verbal.

This should be earlier.

Just about every letter of recommendation I’ve ever requested has ended up like this - “You write it, I’ll sign it!”

Handy, but disingenuous. Which may be why I don’t think many job-offerers ask for them. Heck, people don’t even ask for references anymore; you either get a completely generic “Yes, Person X worked here from Jan 2002 to Feb 2005” or you get somebody’s buddy (if you’re lucky, a work buddy) giving them a really great recommendation. Neither of which are particularly helpful in the hiring process.

Thanks all! (The nicest part about this was that I didn’t ask, the boss offered.) It may or may not be useful, but it’s nice.