An original poem by Sea Sorbust:
A tad mundane in subject, but I’ve seen much worse. What’s your point?
Are you sure you want to open up this can of worms?
OK, you asked for it.
The first mistake aspiring poets make is to concentrate on rhyme and ignore rhythm. If you’re writing a rhyming poem, you need to care about the rhythm, too (if you don’t care about rhythm, write free verse – though good free verse concerns itself with the rhythm of the words, too). This is a rhythmic mess:
Dra’-gon-flies by’ day’ (1 dactylic foot, two spondees)
Bats’ by’ night’ (Three spoondees)
With PLEN’-ty of these’ a-ROUND (1 iambic with a leading syllable, two trochaic)
There’ll’ be’ ne-ver’ a mos-qui’-to in sight’. (Hard to parse, but I’d say two spondees, one iambic, something best descrived as an amphibranch with a leading syllable, then back to an iamb again).
Try sticking to one rhythm throughout.
Hey, Sea Sorbust!
I’m copyin’ out your poem here on a piece a notebook paper, and I’m submitting it to The New Yorker Poetry Editor under my own name!
Pretty soon I’ll have a check for a sweet $75.00, and I’m not gonna share it with you, and I will be the toast of the uptown private clubland, and there isn’t ANYTHING you can do about it!
[sub]Hah…that’ll teach you to post original artistic material on a public message board…
The new Mcgonigal.
True, true.
I can’t remember all the terminology as well as Chuck, but you might try to rewrite the last two lines to the following rhyme scheme:
DA da da da DA da da da
DA DA DA
One example would be:
Dragonflies by day
Bats by night
There’ll be nary a mosquito
Left in sight.
That’s still a bit awkward, as it puts “There’ll” on one syllable and “a” on a strong beat.
Conversely, you could reverse the first two lines and get:
Bats by night
Dragonflies by day
All the nasty little skeeters
Will be swept away.
Either way, though, it’s effectively doggerel. But then, I’m a big fan of doggerel.
Bad move,Uke, I’ve already done it (my check is in the mail!).
Now you will be exposed for the fraud you are. That’ll teach you to exploit the TM…
…after I do. 
Firstly, and of but (relatively) wee importance, a slight psychological shift in eco-orientation and we are mosquito-free with <big> **NO </big> <font color = red> Poison </font color> **
Firstly, and of but (relatively) wee importance, a slight psychological shift in eco-orientation and we are all mosquito-free with <big> **NO **</big> <font color = red> **Poison **</font color>