Critique my proposed Chipotle diet

In My Humble Opinion
21

It’s a silly idea. You’re not going to lose weight indulging yourself daily in calorie dense foods and then hope you can “tough it out” in the long stretches between feedings. If you are going to insist on making hefty burritos part of your food pyramid, any hope you have to lose weight is a pipe dream. With a decent meal plan and diet strategy you* might * be able to incorporate one of those monsters a week into your diet if you budget enough calories, but one a day is sheer insanity. It’s over half your entire calorie load.

The entire point of a successful diet is that it has to be manageable and that usually (for most overweight humans) means lots of filling, nutritious, relatively low calorie foods.

22

Check it out…

My dad - 55, 6", 170 lbs, physical laborer - discovered one day that he LOVED Taco Bell. So much, that he decided to eat it every day after work, around 2:30. I can’t say that he ate breakfast or lunch (prolly not) and he had a “square meal” of home cooking every night before bed. He’s always eaten like this.

So in that year, he had 1 or 2 beef soft tacos every day and a little pint of beans. No sour cream. According to the Taco Bell web site, here’s the nutritional value of said meal:

Calories 600.0
Total Fat 27.0
Saturated Fat 11.5
Cholesterol 65.0
Sodium 1940.0
Carbohydrates 62.0
Dietary Fiber 8.0
Sugars 5.0
Protein 30.0

You will note that sat fat is lower than your Chipotle, and cholesterol is less than half.

When he saw his doctor in November of 2003 (before the Taco Bell Rampage) his cholesterol was a tidy 180.

After said rampage, just one year later…270.

TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY!!!

Taco Bell sent his cholesterol up NINETY POINTS.

His weight? never changed. Didn’t gain an ounce (because that’s how his goddamn metabolism is. fucker…)

So, his doctor was all “woah!” and he was all “woah!” and I was all “WOAH!” and for some reason he didn’t tell the doctor that he’d been eating Taco Bell every day, in which case “STOP EATING TACO BELL!” would have sufficed but instead the doctor scratched his head and said “well uhm, let’s watch what we eat for a bit and see if it goes down without meds first.”

And he did. Well I did. I watched what he ate. No more Taco Bell that’s for sure.

In less than a year his cholesterol went back down to 180.

How this blood-pressure-regulating-pill-taking old man didn’t die of a sodium overdose, let alone arteries as hard as rocks, I’ll never know.

Moral of the story: No, for the love of Og, do NOT eat Chipotle every day.

please.

Think of the children.