Cubs fans, come on in, get drunk...cry

What the hell, man? WHAT THE HELL?

::throwing back a shot of whiskey::

::hunching over the bar, shaking head in despair::

Hey, how about them Blue Jays?

I tell ya, we’re pennant contenders. All we need is hitting, base running, fielding, a decent bullpen and a strong starting rotation.

We’ve got everything else.

Okay, we can also use a couple of catchers.

I thought this was for Cuba fans, and was hoping the OP would explain if it was for Cuba-Castro or Cuba-Gooding-Jr.

Still, how 'bout them Cubbies?

Slip, take your Blue Jay lovin’ ass outta my crying party. The Cubs were in first place for MONTHS. MONTHS. And now…nothing.

God bless it.

Pour me another whiskey

WHAT about those Cubbies?

Christ, what a miserable second half.

I don’t want to talk about it.

Okay, yes I do, but only to say this:

I have tickets to two of the three games v. Houston this weekend. My boyfriend is an Astros fan. Everything sucks moist donkey nuts.

I hope that even as we speak Oscar Acosta is caning the entire pitching staff until their backs bleed.

And slap Eric Young for good measure.

And Todd Hundley…what can I say, it’s like having a little retarded boy on the team. I think he’s cute and I like him as a person…but he does no good for us!

jarbaby

Well, I’ve been through 25 years of this shit, so here comes the Cubs mantra.

Just wait 'til next year!

(I’m still pissed at '84, myself.)

Well, gee, jarbaby, let me roll out the pity wagon.

While you guys were flying high, I couldn’t wear my Blue Jays baseball cap because the neighbourhood kids would mock and deride me.

Now that the tables have turned the shoe to the other foot, you want I should commiserate?

Okay. Pour me a drop of that whiskey, would ya?

Love what you did with your hair. Is that a new blouse? It really brings out your eyes.

Hey, don’t panic. It’s not over until the chunky soprano sings.

Weep, cry, sooooob…

I’d get drunk, but I still can’t use my hands. The trauma…

But that’s okay because the Cubs only need for next year:
A centerfielder
A left fielder - that can play more than 80 games
A first baseman
A second baseman
A shortstop
And a catcher. Plus a lead-off hitter who actually walks, a left handed power hitter with a BA above the mendoza line, 2 pitchers, a closer, someone to shoot David Weathers and Felix Heredia, a replacemnet for Mack Newton…

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

They just wouldn’t be the Cubs if they didn’t break my heart year after year.
Can you imagine if they ever made the series? I’d probably burst a blood vessel or two from all the insane loud cheering I’d do. (of course I would love every minute of it.)
JUST WAIT 'TILL NEXT YEAR!!!

Well, looking ahead to next year:

RF: Sammy. This is a good thing, although if ANYONE votes for him as MVP this year over Bonds, they should never be allowed to vote again.

CF: Most likely Corey Patterson. This could be a good thing, or it could be a bad thing. But, it’s something we have to find out.

LF: Rondell White. Should be Roosevelt Brown, but Donnieboy doesn’t seem to like him for some reason. Reason #26,546 that I don’t like Donnieboy.

3B: Bill Mueller. Good thing. Probably won’t hit quite as well as he did this year, but that’s ok.

SS: Ricky Guttierez. Completely average shortstop, should probably be replaced by one of the minor-league prospects.

2B: Please, god, let it be Bobby Hill and not Eric Young.

1B: Again, please, god, Hee Sop Choi. Fred McGriff apparently sucks ass. Matt Stairs was a better 1B than him.

C: Todd Hundley. Looks good only in comparison to the other options the Cubs have. Joe Girardi shouldn’t be let within 100 miles of a ballpark.

SP: Cruz, Lieber, Wood, then two from the Bere/Tapani/Tavarez/Zambrano/other minor-league prospect group. I’d say there’s absolutely zero chance that Bere has as good a year next year as he had this year (last night notwithstanding); Tapani almost HAS to break down sometime; Tavarez is a meltdown waiting to happen. I have no idea what’s going on here.

RP: Farnsworth is the only one actually worth keeping, I’d think. But, I’m sure Fassero, Gordon, etc will be back, too. It’d be best if we could keep Donnieboy from using them so goddamned much, though. Today’s lesson for Don: When you use your best relievers in 8-2 games in May, they get hit hard in 3-2 games in September. Schmuck. Oh, and good job trading Quevedo for Weathers. Someone should be shot for that.

Anyway. Who cares. The Bears beat the Vikings. It’s football season.

And Illinois is gonna beat Michigan, and their basketball team is gonna kick all ass.

Who the hell needs the Cubs? (weeping silently to himself)

Hey, if you guys got drunk every time they let you down, you’d all be dead of cirrosis…

::allows ** Jarbaby ** to ket loose with that creative invective…

[sub] Hell, I’m a NY Ranger hockey fan. We broke a 54 year gap a few years ago. I understand. [/sub]

hey jarbaby and the rest of the cubbies fans, i feel your pain. there is nothing worse than your team doing better than it should for way too long, and then all of a sudden they revert back to suckiness, but its late in the season and youve whipped yourself into a fan-like frenzy. maybe, just maybe, this is the year…

if theyre gonna let you down, why cant they do it at the beginning of the season, for crissake?

can you guess which team im fated to root for?

give you a hint. ‘they killed my grampa, they killed my dad, and now theyre comin after me!’

signed, redsox fan (sigh) and bigtime chitown lover who tries to eat his not insubstantial weight in italian beefs, lou malnati’s, and the red apple polish buffet every time he is fortunate enough to make a visit.

ooooohhhh, italian beef…

Speaking as a non-Cubs fan, I’d say things don’t look that bad for next year. Your starting pitchers sure look tough. Obviously you need a lot of other things, but strating pitching can sometimes carry you pretty far(look at this year), barring injury. Plus it seems like you finally have a coach and someone willing to pay for decent players for a change.

Oh yea, thanks for trading Quevedo for Weathers. Quevedo really looks good, sometimes, and so young.

jar

I’ll be joining you in a few weeks with the way the Braves’ wiffle bats are swinging. Who’da thunk we’d be 'rasslin with the Phils and the Mets this late in the season?

Us Featherheads usually get to drinkin’ in the postseason and we babble on about the '95 Series, then mercifully pass out.

Jarbabyj,

If it’s cool, can I rant a bit about the Vikings in this thread too? I know it’s not baseball but they’ve been choking for years.

I don’t have the foggiest clue what keeps happening but it may just be the somewhat close proximity of the Cubs…

:wink: - running away - :wink:

It was a fun ride.

:frowning:

I’m weeping in my beer as well.

Abso-fucking-lutely not. We kicked your sorry asses Sunday.

I don’t get the disdain for EY, the guy can hit, has speed, and plays a solid 2B. He’s made very few game-breaking errors that I recall. He’d be a hell of SB threat if Baylor would quit being a pussy and use him. Not to mention actually letting him play everyday at the top of the order, instead of using the Jimy Williams philosophy. It’s not like there are many world beating 2Bs out there, Biggio is about the only one of the playoff contenders.

Hundley is the biggest sucking, greased orifice I’ve ever seen on a baseball field. He was washed up the day we got him, and I don’t know how no one noticed. I was pissed when I heard the contract he signed.

Dyno, why the hell would you hate Girardi? The guy is a excellent defensive catcher (unlike Hundley to the extreme) and he is supposedly one of the best at calling a game and working with pitchers. He’s no Piazza at the plate, but neither is Hundley. Nevertheless we need a good catcher, poste haste who can hit at least .250.

It definately is time to start making use of that oh-so-great farm system of our though.

I don’t want to give up on the wildcard yet. We have 10 straight to end the season at home. But after last night…its oh so tempting to just forget about them entirely. Fucking Cubs.