I’ve smoked for 25 years without a break of more than a day. I’ll smoke in no-smoking airports if it’s been too long between connecting flights - I’ll just find a way or feign ignorance. I smoke about 20 a day, more if I’m out drinking.
I’ve never wanted to quit, but now I’m truly middle aged, my body is feeling the effects. I’ve been thinking of quitting, or at least trying to, for a few months, and tomorrow I’m going to a doctor’s office that specializes in helping people stop, because I know there is just no way in hell I could do it without medication. I think (hope) I’ll get Chantix because I hear that’s the most effective and will also allow me to maintain the dopamine ‘hits’ that I crave.
Wish me luck! Although I really am pessimistic about my ability to stop, even with the medication.
Well this is it. I’ve been on Varenicline, the drug which blocks the nicotine receptors in the brain, for one week, and today is the day that I’m supposed to not smoke at all. Today, and the next day, and the rest of my life.
Varenicline was good at helping reduce the amount I smoked (down to 1 quarter of my usual daily amount in one week) but I still want to smoke. I’m jittery, phlegmy, irritable. The
Varenicline takes a lot of the edge off it though - filling my head with fuzziness, and greatly reducing any of the ‘feel good’ aspects of smoking (I would say by about 95%).
I can’t let the bastards win. Making me pay them to kill myself. I’m going to try to push through it.
Thank you Pfizer. Without this drug I wouldn’t even have a chance.
I am a smoker who has failed at quitting many times. It is frustrating to the point of making me sad when I think about it. As many know I have a disabled child, I want to live damnit the longer I live the better off she will most likely end up.
I go a month tops and I break, it is pathetic and sad that for your own life you cannot quit, I try not to focus on it to much now and try to cut back and attempt another quit again soon.
Yes I hate knowing if I only turned down my first cigarette… if only.
Not to sound like your mom, but be careful you don’t actually end up smoking more because the nicotine level is less per cigarette! (That happened to me)
I did worry about that, so I asked a friend I see every day to keep tabs on it. It did happen at first, but as I adapted to the taste (Ultra Lights actually taste much stronger than they are) I cut down to an acceptable (to me, obviously) amount.
Although I really am pessimistic about my ability to stop, even with the medication. 
