I hate it when someone uses my name superfluously. “Hi, Litoris. How may I help you, Litoris? Yes, Litoris, that will be just fine.” ad nauseum. I work in a call center and we are required only to get the caller’s first and last name. After that, we don’t *have *to use their name, I appreciate that. Sometimes I do call the person by name. If it’s a hard to pronounce name, I will apologise for not being able to say it correctly and not bother using it. I have had people appreciate that I can pronounce many names that are not “white” – and a few laugh about my honesty in not wanting to mangle their name. All that being said, having been brought up with manners and “sir” and “ma’am” being a reflex more predictable than hitting me on the knee makes my leg jump – You’d be surprised how many people just get downright *hateful *when you use those two words. I make no apologies for being polite. You don’t like it, don’t call a company located in the South.
Yeah, I remember reading something in Dale Carnegie’s book about how “The sweetest sound to anyone is the sound of his own name”, but I don’t like this practice either when it’s not really necessary.
In my own job, in the medical field, it IS often crucial to confirm the identity of the person you’re talking to…but the grocery store clerk doesn’t need to know who I am.
My grocery store does it. Every checker has to read the bottom of the ticket, find the customer’s name and say “Thank you, Mr./Ms. X”. It’s annoying as hell. Just give me the damn receipt and let me go.
I guaranTEE you The Book was written by corporate buffoons and or marketing thwacks who don’t know the first thing about dealing with a real life, honest-to-goodness customer.
It bugs me in bigger places, but I live in a small enough town that most places I go people know me. So it doesn’t bother me here.
A few of the people I talk to at work (hotel reservations) consider it too formal, but my default is Mr./Ms. Lastname. I even drop in the occasional sir or ma’am, especially with older people. I’ve had only one man tell me not to sir him, his name was John (or whatever). We aren’t required to use their names, though I usually do at least once when going over the details of their reservation. I aim for friendly yet professional. I think gratuitously throwing people’s first names at them crosses into unprofessional. Want to chat? No problem. But I’m not going to pretend to be your new bestest friend, I think it’s silly and rude.
My bank, credit card companies and important groups have my actual name; but anything I don’t take especially seriously I give my name as “Peter Smallcox”. Not only does it help to filter out the important calls from the bullshit, I get a laugh out of hearing some poor shmoe repeatedly call me “Mr. Smallcox”…especially if he/she has an Indian accent.
I like it. I don’t really care if they’re “required” to do it or not.
Related note: on two occasions, from two different businesses who I started doing business with (one of them an exceptionally big corporation), I received a hand-written thank you note for my patronage. Now of course I instinctively knew that it was just a marketing ploy carefully designed to increase my positive perception of the company, but guess what? I didn’t care. It worked. I felt all warm and tingly for a minute or two afterwards.
Yeah we know the world is cold and cruel and nobody really gives a shit about you. But adding these little sorts of personal touches to things makes it easier to temporarily forget about that and I don’t see how that can be a bad thing.
I kind of like it. I work in a call center, and I do get a kick out of people trying to gain the upper hand because they know my first name. “Well, Sunrazor, let’s see if you can get this right, because the last three idiots I talked to couldn’t.” It’s funny because (1) they don’t realize that Sunrazor is a 55+ grandfather with (almost) a master’s degree in rhetoric and (2) all of the game-playing in the world isn’t going to influence what I do. I like it because the overwhelming number of customers I talk to are grateful that some guy named Sunrazor took the time to solve a problem for them, and when they say, “Thank you, Sunrazor, you helped a lot,” THAT is what I take personally. I can hear their sincerity in the way they use my name.
By the same token, I know that Alicia, who’s checking out my groceries at Wal-Mart, has been on her feet for three straight hours and is overdue for her break, and she’s being as cheerful as she can be even thought she doesn’t give a shit about me or my life, and she pretends that my use of reusable bags is absolutely no problem and she admires my willingness to give up convenience to be more environmentally friendly, even though it’s a huge pain in her ass. And when I’ve loaded the last bag into my cart, I tell her, “Thank you, Alicia, I appreciate this,” and I can tell by the look on her face that she knows I have thanked her personally because she’s doing a hard job and she’s made my life a little better.
I would really rather you didn’t call me by name.
If you actually know my name, call me Mr [del]Guinea[/del], not [del]Fools[/del].
My friends call me [del]Foolsy[/del], my family [del]Fools[/del] or [del]Flossie[/del], if you are not in those groups, don’t invite yourself in. Now, if you’re trying to be insulting, call me whatever, & I’ll call you whatever. But don’t think over-familiarity is endearing, unless you’re hot, my type, & credibly flirting with me.
Actually, that’s true. In a hospital or doctor’s office, it’s totally normal & I’m grateful for it.
Right. Someone I know calling me by name because they know me is fine. If I am or mean to be a repeat customer, I may want to be familiar. Some day I may be your Norm Peterson. But don’t assume that’s the case.
I hate it when it’s obvious that someone is being made to say my name. At a store I’ve never been to before, or where staff continuously rotates, it’s obvious that they’re just following corporate procedure if they use my name.
However, I’m actually impressed when people use my name in situations where they obviously didn’t read it off of a receipt or card; a trainer at the gym I recently joined walked by and called me by name to say hello. Just off the top of her head, no reference material to clue her in.
When the cashier or associate is a cute female, I always like being called by name.
I’m afraid the corporate honchos and specialists who codify the use of names as policy don’t differentiate between situations: if they asked me after a gym visit (or after checking out a cute cashier) whether I was favorably impressed by being called by name, I’d say “yeah.” It’s because it’s done off the top of their head or because of their physical attractiveness that I’m impressed, not name-use alone.
I think Dale Carnegie was the type of person who liked to hear the sound of his own name.
I don’t want the grocery store clerk calling me by name, but I do appreciate being remembered in stores I shop at frequently. I don’t particularly care if they remember my name, but if they remember my face, that’s a plus. Especially because I work in retail. I don’t want to be all fake using peoples names as a sales technique, but I know my repeat customers appreciate not having to explain who they are and what they’ve done in the past to me.
Testing stuff costs money. If I had to guess, this kind of thing is the result of surveys or market research, not real testing. I think it’s stupid and patronizing.
Only for a raging narcissist!
Growing up with a maiden name longer and more complicated than even my username, people usually just stuttered, or said “Ma’am”. Married, I have a shorter, but no less German name that is almost always mangled. I would rather just be called “Ma’am” than have the poor customer service person embarrassedly try to sound it out. Just give it up. You won’t get it right.
As someone who occasionally teaches, I probably overuse names, but at least that way I learn who the students are quickly. I think they appreciate that. I picked up the habit from my days of teaching preschoolers. With a group of 3 and 4 yos, you have to say their name at the beginning of each sentence if you want them to pay attention to you. Turns out it works pretty well for college students, too!
I’ve never had a strong opinion on this behavior from call center folks or cashiers. However, I really appreciate that the guys at the service station where I take my car know my name. (The hubby says that’s a sign that I need a new car.)
If your real last name is a word from any Indo-European language other than English, that is unlikely.
I don’t typically care for the grocery store clerks having to do this, but for some reason I’d really like to do business with Sunrazor right now.
I agree about Safeway, but I have to ask about the surname thing. This is such a bizarre attitude to me. How are the rules different for you than your father? Is it that he is an adult, but you never will be, or that he would look around for his father when he heard “Mr. Stone”?
Sorry to pick on you, but I’ve just never understood this. Same for people who object to “ma’am” and “sir” — it doesn’t make you sound old, it just makes you sound at least 18. Why would you want to be addressed like a child?
Whenever a stranger addressed me by my first name, I say, “You have me at a disadvantage, Sir / Ma’am,” though they never know what I’m talking about.
I genuinely enjoy being called by my last name during a face-to-face interaction. There’s just something about being called “monsieur _mcl” that sounds like they’re taking me seriously.
Conversely, I can’t stand being called by my first name during the same circumstance, because they inevitably call me “Matthew,” having read it off the form or whatever, and not by “Matt,” which is what my friends call me. It just emphasizes that this is an impersonal interaction and that they’re taking an unlicensed familiarity.
I haven’t yet worked up the brass to smile brightly and say, “Oh, please, do call me Mr. _mcl.”
Sir and ma’am are pretty common hereabouts. When people object, it’s generally because they are, or perceive themselves to be, very close to the speaker in age, and don’t care for the implication of a generational gap, as such makes them feel old. I don’t mind when a 19 year old male calls me sir, but a 30 year old male doing so makes me feel old.