Say my name, bitch! (or, I pit the grocery store)

The BBQ Pit
1

There’s only one grocery store in the vicinity Where I work. The store in question is part of a pretty big chain, and they have the reputation of being a bit more upscale. There’s no self-service checkout, you get a nicer selection of fruits and veggies, and of course, friendly service. You know, of course, that you’re going to pay through the ass for such conveniences, but when you’re at work and you need a box of tampons and a chocolate bar and would rather avoid the scary leering man at the convenience store, you’re going to head to your local, friendly grocery store, right?

Higher prices, okay, I can deal with. It sucks having to bend over and take it up the ass just because your convenience store won’t sell sudafed (yes, it’s that bad – the convenience store is CHEAPER than these rip-off artists). Unfortunately, a gal has to do what a gal has to do when her sinuses have slammed shut, and the only antihistamine that won’t make her dopey as drinking one of Quagmire’s roofie coladas is at home on the goddamn counter. (No, really! Jesus came by, and long story short, our counter is now damned.)

So ass-fuckingly high prices aside, the store pisses me off every fucking time I go in. In an effort to be personable and friendly, the cashiers will always call you by name. I tried to be sneaky and stop using my this-makes-our-prices-only-200%-higher-than-our-competitor’s customer appreciation card, but they still put my name on the receipt because I use my debit card. I guess I can see how some people’s lives are so sad and pathetic that might appreciate it when a complete stranger calls them by name just because some asshole in corporate thinks it’s a sign of good customer service, so I try to suck it up. Unfortunately, every time I go to pay, it goes something like this:

Brain-Dead Cashier: Thank you Mrs… uh… … Will… Willa… Williams?
Me: <sigh> That’s Willers.
BDC: Oh… uh, okay. You need any help out with that? <waves in the direction of the bag containing a banana and a box of sudafed>
Me: No, I think I can handle it.

Of course, my last name isn’t really Willers, but it’s something that’s a little unusual but VERY easy to pronounce if you fucking hook yourself on some faw-nix and look at what’s actually printed on the receipt. Worse than that, I’ve TRIED to find a manager so I can ask them if they can change something so my name won’t show up, and every time, it’s like the cockroaches when you turn on the kitchen light. Next time I have to go there, I’m so going to bust into tears and sob, “Williams? That’s the name of that MAN that my husband ran off with. How COULD you?!”

Well, at least my sinuses feel better.

2

I’m sure the cashier’s hate doing it almost as much as you hate hearing it.

Take it up with the management.

3

Oh, even more, I suspect.

For the record, I NEVER made my CSRs do this, and I took the disciplinary write-up from the District Manager myself, which eventually lowered my annual evaluation score and raises from 6 cents an hour to only 4 cents an hour. Fuck 'em. I loved my employees to the tune of 20 cents a day, dammit! That’s almost a hundred dollars a year! Worth every penny for our collective self-respect. (And, more seriously, they totally made it up to me in hard work and great attitudes, which drove my store numbers up, not down.)

4

I hate having my first name used at all by people in shops when I don’t otherwise know them and when I’m not in a position to know their name. It’s too familiar, and too fake.

You can Call me Mr … if you know my name from a credit card, and if I’m buying something expensive like a car, or if I’m going to see a medical or other professional, but in a supermarket, just call me ‘mate’ or even ‘sir’ if you really have to - but you don’t even really have to at all. Just say ‘thanks’.

5

That’s one nice thing about having an unpronounceable last name. Half the time they don’t even attempt it, and the other half I get to snigger at their efforts.

6

Total agreement. I had a boss once who would correct people who called him by his first name; literally, “That’s Mr. Willers, please.” I wish I had the nerve. I just flash as fake a dead-eyed smile as I know how and move along.;

7

Wait. I’m still unclear.

You do, or don’t, like being ass-fucked?

8

I can relate. It is a three hour drive to my parents’ house. There is a gas station located almost exactly at the half way point. If I need to get recaffinated or throw a whiz, it is the perfect place to stop. It is right off the interstate which means I can get back on the road that much quicker.

What I hate about it is that, without fail, when I go to the cashier to buy the soda or coffee, I go through this:

C: “Gas outside?”
Me: “nope.”
C: “would you like to use your (some kind of stupid club) card?”
Me:“nope.”
C:“Would you like to sign up for our (some kind of stupid club) card?”
Me: “nope.”
C:“You can save up to…”
Me: “Just the soda please.”

I try to be cordial about it since I’m sure the cashiers (usually highschoolers) could care less if I have or want to have a card and they are just force to say it.

If I am in a hurry, I will usually just walk up to the counter, say" No gas, no card, just the soda". Sometimes I get unusual looks for this, but it saves time.

9

Bricker, Did you just waste your 15,000th post on that remark?

10

Last time I went to the grocery store, the checker and bagger managed to get through the entire transaction without saying a single word to me. No “Hello”, no “thank you”, no “please sign here”…nothing. It was pretty strange. They usually do call you by name but I don’t mind too much.

11

Heh.
As regards the OP, I positively hate this stupid idea. My name looks difficult but actually is fairly easy to pronounce. I hate-hate-hate having my name mispronounced at me.

12

Whole Foods?
Bristol Farms?

13

Nope, this one.

14

I would, but the lube it too damn expensive!

15

PA System: “Mrs…uh…Will-Willu-Williams?..needs a price check on KY on aisle 5.”

Jakeline, grabbing mic: “That Willers, motherfucker!”

16

In my job we’re required to use the callers name at least once, otherwise it lowers our QA score. (A fact I really hate). So I make a conscious effort to do so.

The people that bug me though are the ones that say my name over and over during the call.

Ok Russell, so you’re emailing that to me Russell, is that right Russell?
Thanks for the help Russell, I’ll be, Russell, watching for, Russell, it Russell.

AARRRRRGG! Say my name once if you really feel you must but that gets so old!

17

I can’t help but get called by name at all the local stores we shop at. Most of the checkers and baggers are former or current students!

At least they pronounce the name correctly. But I could do without the sotto voce “rat bastard” that usually follows. :smiley:

18

My last name is easy to pronounce, but about half the people don’t want to say it correctly because when they see it they think they may be mispronouncing it.

My name last name is not Fuchs, in fact it’s completely different. But the last part of it can be taken in a “sexual” way. So I usually get several versions accidentlly or as a joke (OK, about 98% of the jokes stopped after High School).

I never correct anyone unless it’s someone I work with, or a neighboor, a new acquaintance, etc.

I don’t get the rage some people feel when their name is mispronounced. Are we all suppose to know how to pronounce every name there is? That just doesn’t make sense.

To the OP, I think you are being oversensitive and petty. I’ll trade names with you for a month. After that month, with your attitude, you probably write a rant with at least ten asshole references.

Chiill.

19

That milestone was completely unnoticed (by me, anyway) but it’s probably fitting that my 15,000th post was an answer to a legal question with emphasis on Virginia law.

[/hijack]

20

And then they look at you and expect you to confirm they pronounced it correctly. (Or, they do me. C’mon, it’s not like Kurilla is that hard.)