You may be right, but I’ve read the complete archives there, and don’t recognize it, FWIW…
Joe
I’m sorry, are you kidding? He ate basically the whole burger, then stated that it was bad, and he wanted a new one. That seems reasonable to you?
Joe
One Of my favorites from my management time at Home Depot was a customer ordered a special order patio door with a minimum 3 week lead time. The next weekend they decided to remove the existing door and showed up looking to pick up the door that had no possible way to be in in that time frame.
Me: ‘Your doors not in yet it will be at least two more weeks and can often be longer’
Him:‘What am I supposed to do about the hole in my house! I can’t secure my house.’
Me:‘I’m not sure why you removed the existing door already we can’t get you your door any earlier. You could get some plywood to cover the opening in the meantime.’
Him: ‘That would look ugly’
Me: blank stare
Him: ‘Will you deliver the plywood’
Me: ‘For our regular delivery fee. Normally its 24 hours lead time on diliveries but i can have an associate take it over now so you have it today’
Him: ‘Why should I have to pay its not my fault your taking too long getting my door’
Me: ‘It hasn’t even been a week we told you it was going to take 3 weeks’ pointing to the customer contract he signed stating the three week estimate.’
Him: ‘If you don’t go out back and get me my door right now I’m never doing business here again.’
The conversation continued to go nowhere for some time him insinuating that we had his door and were not willing to give it to him. We refunded him his money. He came back a week later and ordered the same door again.
Hah, lucky he didn’t get arrested – in our DMV, there are signs mentioning any attempt to bribe is a serious offence, etc. And really – what DMV worker would risk their job (and jail – tampering with an ID?!) for a measly twenty bucks? Heh.
I believe the confusion here stems from the use of the word “bite” to mean both the piece of food (there is one bite left on the plate) and the place where a piece of food once was (Ew! That cookie has a bite in it).
I assume in the original story, there was one small piece of burger left, and that small piece is what was replaced, not one small piece missing.
Right. Definitely a scam.
I’m suspicious of the Best Buy ones where an extremely competent salesperson helps someone pick the perfect gift, too. 
I think there’s confusion, but it seems to be a disconnect between DigitalC’s clear and correct analysis of the words of the story being that “the customer exchanged the very last bite left of the hamburger” but somehow (I suspect) in his/her mind seeing it the exact opposite way around.
Thanks for this link. I shall be entertained for hours.
Back in my days working at a bath products store, we’d get people coming in and abusing our fairly generous return policy. See, if you bought bubble bath for Aunt Mildred and she didn’t like the scent you picked out for her, you could return it and we’d exchange it. By which I mean, let Auntie sniff the bottle, say “blah, I hate apple blossoms”, and then bring it back to us and exchange it for vanilla. But we’d get people bringing half-bottles back, saying they didn’t like the smell. Same story for lotions and perfumes, and one customer tried to return a deodorant. Ew. Most people backed down when I told them we couldn’t refund their money if half the product was gone, but some of them really got aggressive, and the manager decided it wasn’t worth it and we usually just gave up.
Then there’s my grandmother, who is famous in the family for having brought a blouse back to the store for a refund because it was missing buttons. She didn’t have a receipt, but that didn’t stop her. She showed the sales clerk. Called in the manager. Argued that it was a bad product. Admonished them for selling sub-par merchandise. This went on for a half hour, or so I’m told, at which point the manager quietly apologized and refunded her money. A few days later, cleaning out a drawer in the kitchen, she found the receipt for the blouse. Which she’d bought at a totally different store. :smack:
I have, but I’ve been the customer behind them waiting for them to finish - because this sort of idiot always takes FOREVER when you are standing behind them wanting to ring through one stupid thing and get home!
Did you tell him that you were going to kick 100 percent of his ass?
Yep. When I was a bank teller, we had a business account with some really nasty people. One guy who brought in deposits would basically verbally abuse me every time he came in. He once tried to get me fired because he wanted ten rolls of quarters and I only had nine on hand. Another guy tried called corporate to complain because when he walked in, a few of us were laughing and bankers should never laugh. These guys were assholes and nothing but trouble. I asked the manager why we didn’t just close their account and never return. “Oh, we need their account. Their deposits are very important to us.”
I looked it up. Their account balance was consistantly around -$7,000.
I had a major car accident a few years back that I walked away from. Totaled my econoline.
About an hour after the accident, I was at the collision shop of a friend of ours who does high end, yuppie cars. My husband was talking to our friend and they were surveying the damage of my DOA van just being put into its final resting place.
I am in our other car having a very good pity party. I was holding a papertowel sodden with blots of blood on it from the small cut a stainless steel coffee mug that had been on my dash board holder thing went flying all the way to the back window of my van, smashed it and rebounded back to hit me in my head behind my right ear. All things considered, I am very, very lucky.
A well dressed knob gets out of his vintage British sportscar that could have been an MG or something similar. Late 60’s early 70’s. Nice green color.
Along the side there was a scratch and a very minor dent.
I was walking past him with my paper towel on the back of my head and said in my best non-challant voice, " That’s nothing. See what I just did about 40 minutes ago?" and pointed to my econoline that was all mushed on one side from the front on collision and listing to the left.
The knob did not even acknowledge my accident or injury or anything. At all. He turns to his car and says, " My sons did that."
Fine, don’t give me any pity. Thinking they were 16 or so, “What happened?”
The knob tells me they went out on a joyride and ended up getting in a trucks blindspot and lcoked into the trucks wheel well for a few moments of colon cleansing before breaking free and getting away.
“Were they ok?”
He didn’t even answer me on that. “Look at what they did to my car!”
“You were lucky they weren’t killed!” I bit off a little raw.
The knob went off on a controlled rant about god knows what that I didn’t really hear because our friend, the manager of the shop was with us now and waiting. We exchanged glances of This guy is a dick.
“How old are your sons?” I’m thinking they did a Ferris Bueller’s Day off joy ride in Daddy’s precious vehicle.
“23 and 25.”
This wasn’t a simple teen joyride. That car meant more to dad than his own sons.
" Make them pay for the repair."
From his bent over position where he gently traced every inch of damage with a finger the Knob gave me such a look as if, they won’t have any part of this car ever again. The knob noticed the Manager and I instantly became UNIMPORTANT.
I followed after them and went inside and took a seat. My husband was leaning on the counter and had, I knew, been told by his manager buddy that he had a customer here ( not that we weren’t REAL customers) but in the language only guys can speak through mental powers, told my husband silently Let me deal with this guy so you can see what an asshole really is.
So, we listen to our friend, who has the patience of twenty people, listen to The Knob want his car back by TOMORROW. ( It was about 4pm. On a Saturday.)
“Mr. Knob, the damage to the car can be repaired fairly quickly. The problem is, and I told you this when you ordered the specialty paint from England is that it takes at least 6 weeks to get it over here to our shop.”
The Knob went off on God Knows What in a stick up the ass controlled waspy fashion for about a minute. I’m guessing he was an engineer. He wanted his car back, in perfect condition tomorrow. He wasn’t ranting or raving. He was a boss somewhere that had no concept of time, labor and reality.
"Mr. Knob, if you look at this form you signed when you ordered this specialty paint from England for the original custom paint for your car, you signed stating that any additional paint needed would take a minimum of six weeks to get into the shop. This is standard operating procedure…blah blah blah. We used up all the paint from the original job on your vehicle and don’t store any thing due to storage limitations…blah blah blah. " And he went on to explain there was no way he could bump and buff the damage out and paint it in less than 24 hours. It wouldn’t be quality work. All very logical.
This very controlled, very profession standoff went on for 20 Minutes. The Knob could not process the six week wait for paint. It went round and round. We, as spectators, thoroughly enjoyed the show. So did the guys in back, who were listening in on speaker. You just know those guys all rubbed their junk all over the steering wheel to get back at Mr. Knob.
When Mr. Knob gave his keys over to his beloved vehicle, he said, and I swear I am not making it up said, " I’ll be in on Monday then to pick it up."
And he left.
We three stood or sat there in silence until he drove off in another vehicle and was on the street.
“So, Greg.” Says I in a serious voice." Since his on the back burner until Monday. Can you get my van up and running by 6pm tomorrow night?"
“For you, I’ll have it ready by noon.”
Couldn’t have been an MG. MG owners are friendly, courteous without exception, and seldom well-dressed (but still devastatingly handsome). The car you saw was probably a Jaguar.
An MG owner would order the special paint from England, we just wouldn’t be such a dick about it.
I’m glad you weren’t badly hurt.
At a job I worked at semi-recently (in a retail setting), this came up not once, not twice, but SEVERAL times – people would file complaints regarding the fact that the salespeople were…er, basically, not standing at attention the moment they walked in. I’ll grant that the store had a fairly laid-back atmosphere, but the sales staff was pretty on-the-ball about switching from “chill” mode to “customer” mode. I always wished I could find out who these random complainers were.
Oh, and people twice complained that one guy was “intoxicated” – a known sober individual. Weird.
“Their overdraft fees are very important to us.”
I think they had some special deal where they didn’t get charged overdraft fees.
Well then what the hell?
It is my goal in life to someday own a business, simply for the pleasure of telling people who abuse my staff to fuck right the hell off.
Apparently the manager before the one I worked for wanted their account really badly and kissed their asses until he got it. I have no idea why. The latter manager was a bit of a wuss and didn’t want to upset anyone. (But she didn’t seem to care if her own employees got upset.)
It was a problem with a number of customers there. It was a business-only branch, we didn’t do personal transactions. I don’t know what it is about small business owners, but it seems that a disproportionate number of them are flaming assholes. Some of them, of course, were awesome.
Is it the extremely competent or the perfect gift bit that makes you go :dubious: ?