Cutlery Etiquette: America vs. Europe

I’m American. I’m completely right-handed. I eat with my knife in my left hand and my fork in my right; no switching.

What style do I use?

Actually, I think that’s the Australian Crawl.

I don’t understand the “scooping” issue.
You hold the fork with the tines down and push food onto the convex surface with your knife, or if the food is more solid, you stab it with the tines and lift it to your mouth. There is no “scooping”.

I always set the table with a knife and fork (except for certain foods, when a fork and spoon is more appropriate). I would never just set down a fork. Both implements are supposed to remain in their appropriate (knife right, fork left) hands at all times, if you wish to set them down, they’re crossed to indicate you haven’t finished, and parallel to say you have.

Bear in mind I was taught table manners by my incredibly proper grandmother, who was brought up in colonial South Africa, and who puts ketchup into little dishes with spoons rather than put the bottle on the table.

Am I the only one who thinks this American/European fork in ____ hand thing is mostly urban legend? I’m ambidexterous (write left, everything else both hands, left eye dominant) and I’ve never been instructed or chastised for eating “European” style (fork on left, knife in right, no switching nonsense), but I do so because it seems natural. In fact, the first place I ever heard of a difference was in a history class in which the teacher claimed that American spies had been spotted and subsequently executed based upon their identifiably non-European cutlery habits and vice versa. Despite the prevelence of this notion in WWII films like “The Big Red One” I find it difficult to believe that this was really the case, as I had an grand-uncle in WWI and another grand-uncle and grandfather in WWII, all of whom handled their cutlery in the “European fashion” without artiface.

The überclass may have adopted this fork-switching thing as an affectation to distinguish them from the common proles, but this doesn’t make it a dominant style for the country.

Me? Heck, anything I can’t eat with fingers or a soup spoon I’ve taken to eating with chopsticks. Easier to clean and, surprisingly to someone who didn’t grow up using them, a lot easier to manipulate your food. It’s like eating with finger-stilts. (And you have every excuse to hold the bowl up to your mouth and scoop in loose rice, instead of chasing it around with a fork.)

Stranger (who doesn’t criticize anyone’s table manners so long as they aren’t making a mess or falling out of their chair.)

I never thought that there was a particular nationality related to the way one held one’s utensils. :confused:

For the record, I’m about as lefthanded as they come, and I always hold the fork or spoon in my left hand. I also hold the fork or spoon underhand like I would a pen, not a tennis racket. For cutting things on my plate, I use my right hand, it seems. But when slicing other objects such as bread or cheese on a board, I use my left hand.

American here, trained in “standard American” table manners (the “fork-switching” thing), recently moved to the Netherlands.

Coldfire: She has mastered this technique in only a few months after moving here.

God bless her. I still find it quite difficult.

TLD: * I think it would be surprisingly difficult to change a lifetime of muscle memory to swap over*

It sure is, IME. I just haven’t had to think consciously about how I use knife and fork for such a long time that it’s very hard to get it right. I still feel clumsy.

TLD: I know that the concave side down is the “proper” way, but I wonder how the people who say this eat their peas! I prefer concave side down, but I certainly won’t hesitate to flip my fork over to eat peas, mashed vegetables, etc. I’m also into the “lots of knifework” thing when I do this, and the fork will sit still convex side resting on the plate, while the knife loads stuff onto it.

I was taught to use a fork concave side up. IMO the natural “bowl” shape of the curved tines makes it a lot easier to keep food on the fork (especially, as you say, for evasive foods like peas) when the tines point up.

According to Miss Manners, correct American table manners still mandate:

  1. fork-switching (i.e., you cut food with the fork in the left hand and knife in the right, lay down the knife, and take the fork into your right hand to lift it to your mouth),

  2. using the fork tines-up, and

  3. not pushing the food onto the fork with knife, fingers, or any other implement. (This is another reason for using the tines-up approach: you don’t exactly “scoop” with the fork, you just sort of slide the tines under the food. No way you could load food onto the back (convex side) of a fork without using a “pusher”.)

SOAT: Am I the only one who thinks this American/European fork in ____ hand thing is mostly urban legend?

I don’t know, but however many there are of you, you’re definitely wrong. The “American” (fork-switching) and “European” (fork stays in left hand) labels are routinely applied to these kinds of table manners, and AFAIK you will never find a European who was taught to handle utensils the “American” way. However, you will find many, many Americans who eat that way, although the “European” way does seem to be gaining popularity in the US now.

Now I’m wondering: which way do Canadians eat?

That’s just the problem I have. I can’t scoop and eat with the fork in my left hand. I was raised to use the fork in the right hand always. To cut food, you switch! Lets just say you have eaten a bite. Your fork is in your right hand. So, to cut another bite of steak, you put your fork in your left hand, and stab the meat tines down, and then cut the meat, then you switch the fork with the meat to your right hand and eat it. Normal non-cutting eating is done with a fork alone. Can’t get the extra peas? Tough luck? Take a roll, or like my grandpa did, use your forearm and push the peas against them! But I have realized the benefits of using the knife to scoop, but I just can’t use the fork in the left hand for scooping things because I can’t bring them to my mouth with ease, so I always switch to knife left hand and fork in right. Nobody does this, so I realize this is abnormal, but that’s what I do. But most people who were trained like me don’t eat Euro style, so its wierd.

when not using chopsticks (which i do use use on a regular basis) i use my right hand for the fork, and my left for the knife, even though this means crossing over to pick up & set down my implements; as a forced-ambidextrous natural lefty, it’s just more comfortable to eat this way.

can’t say that i’ve ever noticed anyone switching the fork from one hand to the other though. i think then the norm for canadians would be the “european method” though i know i’m not the only one to reverse the fork & knife positions, switching back & forth in the middle of eating? thats just weird.

I wasn’t aware that Americans ate any other way than fork in left hand, knife in right hand, as everyone I know eats that way. In fact, I didn’t know it was called the “American” way until someone pointed it out.

I also think the “American” style is a lot more work. It’s easier to keep the fork in the left hand and cut with the right than it is to keep putting the knife down for every bite.

Hmm, I’ve always ate and was taught to eat Euro-style. And not a single person in my family has Euro blood in them. At least not in the last 100 or so years.

I never even new I was eating Euro-style untill I was about 27 and one of my friends pointed it out to me. At the time I thought he was just mess’n with my head.

Wow. All these posts and we haven’t even touched the “how do you leave your cutlery when you’ve finished?” debate:

  1. Knife and fork side by side at twelve o’clock (me)
  2. Knife and fork side by side (fork at twelve, knife at six)
  3. Knife and fork side by side (fork at six, knife at twelve)
  4. Knife and fork at four and eight o’clock, respectively.
  5. Knife and fork at eight and four o’clock respectively.
  6. Other
  7. Who cares? What’s for dessert?

You’ve never seen a left-handed European eat? Or indeed me. I’m right handed and English, but I hold my fork in my right hand. I must have figured at an early age that the hand that’s shoving sharp things near my face better be the one with the best control. And the knife just cuts and shovels things onto the fork; not much dominant-hand skill needed here.

I was always taught that the holding of the fork convex-side-up was an etiquette thing. It’s not something that bothers me - I define dining etiquette as not eating with one’s mouth open, smacking lips, burping or farting. Apart from that I’m easy.

I was taught these things by my father and lived for a part just with my mother who didn’t care. So I know how to eat in a fancy restaurant. Some basic stuff I was taught:

  • fork in your left hand if you’re right handed, and in your right if you’re left-handed. In other words, we generally set the table differently for people who are left-handed, and left-handed people generally point out that they’re left handed when setting the table. This is also useful to consider when you’re cramped for space because the guests outweigh the sitting-space and elbows threaten to collide.

  • For spaghetti, you can use a spoon to replace the fork, and the fork to replace the knife. Later in Italy I discovered that the Italians only use a fork for spaghetti and twirl it onto their fork by twisting the spaghetti on the edge of their plate. No spoon comes into play at all. Smart people, saving on dishes and such.

  • eat with two hands (i.e. don’t eat with just your fork) unless it’s desert or soup.

  • put your knife and fork together when you’re finished. This helps to convey the ‘what’s for dessert’ message, or more generally the we’re ready for the next course now message. Just like closing the menu in a restaurant indicates you’re ready to order. These things are, in fact, really useful. As kids we had fun with it, leaving a certain space between the knife and fork to indicate how hungry we still were, or how much desert we’d like.

  • don’t rest your elbow on the table while eating (this rule, quite frankly, I don’t care about). And definitely don’t support your head with your arm while eating. Obviously.

Then there’s all this stuff about setting the table, but let’s not go there.

Having said that, living with my mother who only basically objected if we screamed that the food tasted like s&*t, and taught us to ‘politely’ say we didn’t think it tasted very good, allowed me to discover that I could eat most food with just a fork, and only needed my knife for resiliant meat, and one or two final forkfuls at the end.

And my dad wasn’t that rigid either - he loves licking the plate clean if the food was good. And he’s right - the residue on a plate after a good meal is often the best part, very much flavor-over-substance, food-sauce and spices mostly. Yum. Particularly good after having had some salad with Italian style dressing, for instance.

Good thing I just had a big lunch, or I’d be hungry again.

Say, Coldfire, seeing your location, if you ever feel like having dinner sometime … I’m in Amsterdam every day. (obviously you’re welcome to bring your wife and let her show off her new-found skills :wink: ).

As soon as I sit down, switch the places of my knives and forks.

This thread prompted me to peruse some etiquette guides online – I won’t link because they’re easily found by searching – and many of them include the instruction that it’s rude to add salt to your food before tasting it. I have heard this before, and I always thought it a strange one. Don’t get me wrong – so far as I am concerned, it makes complete sense to taste your food before adding salt. It’s a practical issue – how do you know it needs salt? But to me, this is more a matter of taste or epicurean issue. After all, if it’s rude to add salt before you taste, isn’t it equally, if not more, rude to add salt after you taste? The former is an act of ignorance; the latter an act of outright criticism.

This page – http://www.sideroad.com/Cross_Cultural_Communication/dining-etiquette.html – says that in Germany, you should try to eat your meat just with a fork. If you can cut it with a fork, that means it’s tender and it’s a compliment to the chef. However, if you find you can’t cut it with a fork and you pick up your knife, isn’t that then an explicit insult to the chef?

Finally, a comrade!

My family is all over the map.

I eat with the knife in my left hand and the fork in my right. The knife is for cutting and food manipulation. Tines point up. I am right handed.

My father does the “cut your food” then switch hands" routine. Tines pointing up.

My mother does the same with tines pointing down.

My brother, god bless him, switches hands after cutting but also holds his fork or spoon like a club (that is he holds the utensil in his fist rather than secured between the middle and index fingers). It shouldn’t bother me but it seems a bit barbaric.

My wife eats with the knife in her right hand and fork in the right, tines pointing up. She is right handed. (she also lived in Europe for a year)

We all grew up together (yes, my wife and I have known each other since birth) in the same rural town in Minnesota (US). So go figure.

Please slap your brother.

My experiences:

In most American homes, we are taught to cut food with the knife in the right hand, holding it down with the fork in the left; then, one puts down the knife on the plate and switches the fork to the right hand, holding it tines up, with the thumb on top, the first two fingers below, and the last two fingers curled into the palm. Food is either speared or scooped, and lifted to the mouth with as erect a posture as possible.

My correspondent from Spain (an American foreign exchange student) reported that, in Madrid, the fork remains in the left hand and the knife in the right. The fork either spears food, or has food pushed onto it with the knife. The fork is raised to the mouth tines down.

My friend from Romania, who has also spent a lot of time in Germany, also eats with the fork in his left hand, but in the thumb-and-two-fingers grasp used in America. He spears, scoops, or pushes with his knife, and lifts the fork to his mouth tines up.

IIRC, both of the European styles described here allowed the fork in the right hand if you’re not using a knife at all, in which case it’s held tines up, as in America.

As a child, I learned the standard American hand-switching style. When I was in high school, our French teacher arranged a field trip to a French restaurant, and we were told to eat “European style,” keeping the knife in the right hand and fork in the left.

I was 15 at the time, and took to the European style like a fish to water. I found I could shovel in the food much faster without all that “set down the knife and switch hands with the fork” nonsense. Practicality matters to a teenage boy!