So I’m driving during rush hour yesterday in a little northern suburb of Chicago, in an area that might be somewhat known for a citizenry mildly out of touch with reality, when I notice something interesting not too far ahead in traffic.
Two cyclists are riding side by side, in the right lane, as one might expect to see a pair of motorcyclists doing. Except that these weren’t those kind of bikers, these were the spandex-landen Lance Armstrong hopeful-types, apparently in training for the Tour de Idiocy, rolling along down a four lane road where it’s not uncommon to see cars going even faster than the 45mph posted limit. And yes, there was a shoulder on this road. I have been down both sides of it on my own bicycle many times. Naturally, the traffic in the right lane (myself included) were not all that patient with this circumstance, and were blaring their horns at Lance Armstrong & Co. and slamming the accelerator and flying around them. I watched this all unfold for at least a minute as I came closer up behind them. Horns blasting, cars changing lanes, it was quite a scene …
And they absolutely would not get out of the way. Unbeknownst to the rest of the motoring traffic, these two champions of instinct were apparently entitled to the use of the road as their own pedestrian thoroughfare.
Obviously, I wasn’t the first to blare my horn at them, but I made damn sure they heard mine for at least 6-7 seconds as I flew by them. Not that it mattered at that point, because so far as I could tell, they’d already been honked at a good dozen times in the span of a minute. Mind you, these guys were not going more than 20mph, and despite that being a pretty respectable pace for a cyclist, a cyclist is not a car. These guys weren’t all that young either, in fact, they were in their 40’s or 50’s. As I flew by, the one on the left turned and looked in my direction, and even though I only saw his face for a second, I could almost swear I saw an expression of … disgust?
Now, I’m a cyclist myself, and probably a bit of an idiot for not wearing a helmet most of the time when I ride. I do not, however, ride down the middle of a very busy road with the expectation that traffic will be accomodating to my presence, however fast I may be going. As such, I use the shoulder like 99% of the rest of the cyclists. With the exception of a tailwind and a very steep incline, no cyclist can go 50+ mph, so exactly where the fuck do people of this particular persuasion get off believing that this sort of jackass behavior is their privelege and/or right? Quite frankly, I hope they get what they deserve one day, and I hope it’s something big … like a Peterbilt semi carrying a load of trucks that couldn’t slow down in time. What kind of sympathy would they deserve? Anyone who does this deserves whatever happens to them, and then some.
For that matter, how did the whole “I’m a highly conditioned, sociopathic cyclist who can keep up with traffic up to 20mph, so therefore I will” attitude get to be what it is? Bike messengers in the city are one thing, but bike messengers do not go down 60mph highways. Apparently the rules are changing and nobody told me. I haven’t seen this before, and I’m curious if anyone else has …