Da Hell? Parents sue over Wi-Fi death rays

Parents Sue School Over Wi-Fi

What the hell? Yeah, the low-power Wi-Fi network will kill your kids. Eliminate it to remove the threat, then they’ll only be bombarded by harmless AM and FM radio waves… and cell phones… and cordless phones… and walkie talkies.

This is pretty stupid.

If it’s really that stupid, then it won’t get anywhere in court.

Yeah, right…

The suit may have some merit if the network consists of 1920’s style wi fi de-

No, I won’t do it.

No, they’re 1990’s-style death rays. They didn’t have wi-fi in the 20s, no matter how good the rest of the death rays were.

Yes. Yes, it is. Unfortunately, someone probably told these morons that WiFi networks (using 2.4 GHz) operate on nearly the same frequency as microwave ovens (2.45 GHz), so of course they must be dangerous. But no one told them that the oven is about 10,000 times more powerful.

Damn, those are some stupid plaintiffs’ lawyers. Contingency fees only pay off if you have a prayer of winning, guys.

Lord Ashtar wrote:

This was one of the most humerous things I have ever seen written: Right out of a “Top Ten” list of U.S. Judiciary mottos.


That would explain why my Wi-Fi Pop Tarts never seem to cook.

Ah, so they’re 802.11g-style “Death Rays”.

They don’t have a prayer of winning, but they may have a prayer of getting a chunk of a large cash settlement from a school district that doesn’t want to litigate.

You would think that the large number of warehouses and production facilities using wi-fi networks (along with a growing number of coffee shops and tech companies), with nary a radiation burn to show for it, would be compelling evidence against.

Won’t these chuckleheads have to provide some kind of proof that the “rays” are harmful?

Perhaps, if these people are so afraid of electromagnetic radiation, they should just live in a giant Faraday cage.


Cancer clusters, y’all! It’s all about the cancer cluster cover-ups!


Glad to see the 1920s Stylists are still out there. :slight_smile:

No, unfortunately a lawsuit does NOT have to have merit to succeed. One of the biggest lawsuits State Farm Insurance LOST alleged that the use of aftermarket automobile body panels resulted in a loss to…I mean, their use compromised the safety, function and appearance of…Um. Well, they resulted in the car not having OEM body panels and so the owners must have lost out somehow.

Millions and millions of $$$ in class action lawsuit, and none of the plaintiffs suffered ANY kind of loss whatsoever. Until aftermarket body panels couldn’t be used for fear of further lawsuits so the OEM manufacturers had a monopoly and cranked their prices WAY up resulting in MUCH higher repair costs and therefore higher insurance premiums

I think these death ray parents have a pretty good chance of winning. And I hope they’ve considered the nature of the demon they’ve climbed into bed with.