Another vote for “aunt/auntie”. It works for all close-relationship adults in the child’s life. It shows respect where “grandma” doesn’t work for you here. It’s indeed a great catch-all for these types of relationships. “Miss <name>” just sounds too formal.
I’m going to disagree with the children calling her by her first name, unless they are older kids, which it doesn’t sound like yours are.
As an aside, isn’t it funny how whatever name we attach (or get assigned) our grandparents when we’re not even in pre-school yet is the same name we call them well into adulthood? I’m well into my 30s yet I still call my nana “nana”.
I was talking to a co-worker about this a couple of days ago. My grandfather is now deceased, but I still refer to him as “Grampy” as she does her living grandfathers. and why don’t more people use “grampy”?
My dad’s father (Grandpa [surname]) was widowed and remarried before I was born. His last wife was always “Lucy” even when I was a toddler. I believe that’s what she wanted to be called, however. My vote goes for asking her what she wants to be called. IMHO the fact that she’ll rarely be seen doesn’t preclude the option of calling her “grandma” whatever - I only saw Grandpa about a dozen times in the twenty-three years before he died.
Another vote for asking her what she’d prefer.
I’m obviously not a child anymore, but I don’t have a good relationship with my grandmother. I actually haven’t spoken to her in years. She remarried, and while I haven’t met her husband yet, I’d call him by his first name. If mentioned to others, he’s “Grandma’s husband”.
I come from a pretty casual North Carolina family, where my Aunts and Uncles usually weren’t addressed with any title when I was growing up; we just used their first names, period.
Sure we do. My dad’s partner is referred to as Miss Judy. Collectively they are Dad-n-Jude.
When I remarried, I talked to my husband and step kids about what we would use. They finally settled on “Mama <initial>”.
Have you asked your dad what his thoughts are?
I’m with the Grandma K crowd. It makes a slight distinction between a “real” grandmother and a step, without rubbing her face in it. But as others have pointed out, K herself may have opinions on the topic - some women are not all that thrilled by being reminded that yes, they are actually now of an age to have talking grandchildren! I remember walking around a park with a neighbor kid of about six, and some other kid asking if I was his Grandma. :eek:
Must be a southern thing. We always called my uncle’s partner by her first name (but we were adults when they got together). I introduce her to people as my aunt.
Just slightly OT, but really only slightly:
My dad’s only sister didn’t marry until her mid-40’s. I was the youngest of her nieces and nephews at 8, but her husband has ALWAYS just been firstname, from the beginning. Now my nieces and nephews, the next generation, is carrying on the same tradition. She’s Aunt Firstname, and he’s just firstname. That’s different names obviously.
-Lil
While I’m in the currently in the southeastern states, my location refers to my wife’s old (free) SDMB username; Boondock Saint.
I don’t care about my dad’s feelings, but to hurt his wife seems cruel. I’m currently leaning to “Miss K.”
Thanks for the advise - DESK
My kids call all three of their Grandmas “Grandma” with first names when we need to distinguish them. Braniac4’s stepmother is only a year or two older than him, but she married his father, so … the kids only see her once a year.
Miss “K” sounds fine to me. Any way to run it by her first? 
Um, perhaps I’m just sheltered, but is it common in any parts of the U.S. to call a MARRIED woman MISS? 'Cause I’m just :eek:
Yes, actually. In my culture-- Deep South, USA-- it is an all-purpose form of address indicating respect, particularly when there is an age difference. I know several elderly ladies (all with husbands, children and grandchildren) who are addressed by non-relatives as Miss firstname. It is more familiar and friendly than Mrs. surname.
*Miss firstname * has a connotation of affectionate respect. Strangers call a person Miss or Mrs. surname. Home-folks, as we say, would use the more familiar address.
I had the (not entirely pleasant) realization that I was a true grown-up when my friends’ kids started calling me *Miss firstname * instead of simply firstname. My step-children called me *Miss firstname * until I married their father; afterwards they called my by my first name.