How could I forget not to mention Scotti? It was great getting the chance to talk to her. She’s such a sweetie and one of my favorite people on the board.
I’m sorry I didn’t get to talk to her more. It was just too noisy to be able to say more then “Hi” and “Thanks for calling.” And you know hon, you don’t have to wait for an invitation to call. You got my number. Call me anytime!
Well, Irish, that was a bit brief (and lacking in wildly inaccurate timestamps), but it was an excellent effort nonetheless. I know how hard it is to keep track of what that bunch of nutcases says!
She does that. I like to think she’s flirting. Or desperately trying to prevent embarassing quotes from reaching the Board, whichever. 
<Does happy Pagan dance that is fortuitously not captured on film>
I’m sorry I missed it, folks–it sounds like a lot of fun. I promise not to have the flu next time.
Purplebear, that cork made at least 2 passes under the bra strap. I’m not saying it made it all the way into the cup, but it was under the blouse.
That’s right, the plate and fork were for the dessert. I told you I was lost.
Grace, it’s Stacey, with an “ey”. By the way, she said she had fun. She’s more outgoing than I am (can you believe that one? - one-time theater major). It was fun because the conversations didn’t revolve around board stuff, so she could participate.
Chef, “Rick O’Shea” probably would be easier to read. I just like the spelling “Ric O’Chet”. And I didn’t thank you for the Champaigne because I didn’t drink any of it, and didn’t keep track of who paid for it. Though I probably should have mentioned it - no wonder your bill was half the total. 
psiekier, didn’t mean to misapply the title there. Girlfriend, date, like I have either to worry about it.
And I completely forgot the phone call from Scotticher! What a dolt I am! I was so distracted it didn’t make it into the notes, and I had to rely heavily on what got written down this time.
Okay, posting this. Sunday will have to wait.
Hello, Hello!
I was thrilled when Grace suggested that I call and talk to people at the event…some of my favorite people were there. Unfortunately, I had a disagreement with my long distance carrier a few months ago, and had cancelled them in favor of a new carrier, who appears to have cancelled ME in a huff since I was not using it. The only people I know out of state are…well, YOU ALL!
So, I had to use my cellphone, and the connection wasn’t the best. Besides which, I couldn’t think of anything scintillating to say. Sigh I REFUSE to believe that this is the story of my life…
But still, it was nice to talk to the people I DID talk to, and Cheffie said they had an empty chair in my honor at the head of the table. I won’t comment on his veracity, since I LOVES my Cheffie!
I am glad you all had fun, and I would so DEARLY love to meet you all at some point.
If fact, one of these days I am going to fly to LA and kidnap Shayna, and we are going to hop over to Texas for a specially orchestrated S and S Dopefest.
But be warned…get the three of us in the same room at the same time, and you MAY NOT KNOW WHAT HIT YOU! 
PS: I LOVES my Grace and Shayna, too!
I loves my Scotti too! Shayna?! Ehhh, she’s okay.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned breakfast. Irishman, JimB,Purplebear,Maidenunicorn,Chef Troy, Mrs. Chef, Chef Jr., and I met at Denny’s on Sunday morning.
GIRLS! Do have to STOP THIS CAR?
Scotti (giggling)
Sorry Mom!
...which is one of the best things to advertise to be sure to get more guys at the next one.
“You know, the last fest was mostly Doper women…”
Actually, I would spell it as YASH not YACH. The word yax is a Mayan word that repesents many things that work for me.
Also, I would like to extend a thanks to Beatle and the Chefs for all the champagne.
And there is a reason why I want more guys there???
Jim
Gee, Jim, I thought the LADIES might advertise it on that basis. IS there a reason you want more guys there?Yes, Grace, I did mention Sunday.
Jeez, do you even read what I write?!
Okay, commencing with Sunday, Dec 31. New Year’s Eve. What better way to kick off the celebrating by getting up early? (Uhm, want a list? ouch)
Again, I was first, and a good 20 mins early. Judging travel times in a foreign city isn’t easy. And I didn’t even think to bring my book to keep me busy. So I sat and then paced and otherwise waited impatiently. Nevermind that I was early, subconsciously I feel like I’m there, why isn’t anyone else? Stacey didn’t come with me - she was enjoying her vacation and sleeping late, especially after staying up late. Me, I was up till about 4 watching TV and then reading - for some reason couldn’t sleep anyway - so it was a pain to be up at 8 to make the meeting.
I didn’t know who all was coming, so I cornered a booth. Then the Chefs (Cheffie, Mrs., and Jr.) arrived, and told me the booth wasn’t big enough. Chef went to find us a bigger table.
Next JimB showed up, and was followed soon by the ladies Grace, Maidenunicorn, and Purplebear. Grace arrived late again, but not as late as usual. And she sat next to me - I’m so privileged!
I had trouble saying Purplebear’s name. I keep saying “Purperbear”.
Purplebear brought and passed around pictures from a previous gathering, and also of an ice storm in San Antonio.
Someone brought up this one McDonalds that was almost classy. It didn’t have any neon green and purple, but was furnished with real antiques and the bathrooms were trimmed in black. This was apparently in some upscale neighborhood somewhere. I think this was a rich person’s McDonalds - these people probably had never set foot near a real McDonalds and spend all their time in country clubs, so this was a special place set up for them in some elaborate ruse to make them think they’re mixing with the hoi polloi. Or something like that.
Next door was a Luby’s Cafeteria that had on the food line lobster tails and filet mignon.
Grace brought up old spanish ladies and superstitions. One was putting an egg under your bed so that it will pull the fever out of you. The egg will cook overnight. Uh huh. They call it “oho”, spelled “ojo”. Also brought up the evil eye, and curses.
Chef Jr. was having too much fun on the other side of Grace. He lost interest in his Game Boy, and was rolling around in the seat. He would lie over and put his butt in the air. Someone suggested giving him a wedgie if he did it again. His reply - “What’s a wedgie?” So his mom demonstrated. What a great mom.
Somehow “and the rest” came up from Gilligan’s Island. I really forget why it came up, which is pathetic because I’m the one that said it. I mentioned the early seasons of Gilligan’s Island when the song lists 5 of the seven cast members by name, but groups the Professor and MaryAnn as “and the rest”. It would be one thing if they just ran the first 2 or 3, then "and the rest"ed the other 4 or 5, but they go through all the trouble to name off “the Millionaire, and his wife” and even “the movie star”. By the second or third season, they remedied that and explicitly listed the final two. I just found it odd. But why it came up when it did I forget. Maybe it has something to do with the roll list for the meeting?
Chef Jr. was lapping his water from his glass like a dog. Yee haw.
The topics of cats came up, including specific pets and their interesting traits.
Speaking of pets, Grace mentioned killing her boss’s dog. She was left on dog duty a couple times. I wish I had written more of the story down. I vaguely remember something about the dog getting outside and getting run over.
Chef also had another cat story, his cat Thumbs. The cat was polydactyl - it had extra toes, and they were opposable, so he could grip things. This cat (I think I’m not mixing up stories here) also learned how to open the door. Chef lived in an upstairs apartment, with stairs just inside the door. It had a deadbolt lock that was not spring-loaded. The latch was busted, so it would spin freely. He could walk down, hit the latch, and walk out. The cat must have learned the trick from him, because it learned to jump off the stairs and go outside. Andrea told him to fix it to keep him from letting some stranger in, but Chef thought that was unlikely. Until the morning he was awakened by a frightened and angry Andrea because some bum was sleeping on the couch. He lived next door to a church mission that housed the homeless, and this guy had gotten the wrong door and the cat politely let him in. So Cheffie had to fix the latch after that.
Purplebear almost had to attend her wedding in a full leg cast (toes sticking out). She had broken her leg and been healing. The cast was scheduled to come off 2 days before the wedding, but the doc wanted to leave it on. She cried, and finally they informed him she was getting married. She got to get it off, but had to lean on her dad and then the groom during the ceremony, and hobble around getting chased by her maid of honor with her cane for the rest of the day.
Something about Grace’s wedding. Again, I took lousy notes, and my memory isn’t cooperating.
Looking at my notes, I see some strange handwriting in a different color that says
“Irishman is hansome as always”
“as are Cheffie & Jim”
“Grace, Maidenunicorn & Mrs. Troy are beautiful as always”
I suspect this was inserted by the lovely Purplebear while I was looking. (That’s correct - I was looking.)
My notes run out here. There was another incident I remember that I will relate. I kept putting the note pad and pen out of the way while eating, so I put it on the back of the booth by the windows. Only the pen didn’t seem to want to stay, and kept falling off into the seat, between Grace and me. So I had to keep reaching down to fish it out. Grace decided to act startled as if I goosed her. Only problem is that she couldn’t get her timing right, so about 6 times I had to reach down and retrieve the pen (I’m a slow learner), and she’d attempt her little joke and mess up the reaction. It was funnier watching her miss the gag. We even attempted to get a picture of it.
About that time, we noticed it was snowing, and had to get underweigh while the roads were still clear. So we departed our separate ways. Except for the impatient lady at the checkout who wasn’t happy we were trying to pay our bills and edged between us.
As for the snow, suffice it to say that I went home and crawled in bed. Then had to get up and run my sister on an errand, and then went home and crawled in bed. When I got up 4 hours later, it had snowed 3 inches. The roads were rather icy that night. What a New Year’s!
Okay, I’m officially out of notes. Yea!
lurkernomore pointed out:
Wait, that didn’t come out right. I meant “We had too many guys to know what to do with, so we had to armwrestle for privileges on who got to sit next to whom.” Yeah, that’s it.
Or maybe what I meant was “we were a few short guys.”
OK, Irishman didn’t do TOO bad with the notes on my (clearly riveting) cat stories, considering I am not the sort of SDMBer who commands his full attention (i.e. female and buxom). I’ll tidy up a bit, shall I?
Thumbs, my polydactyl cat with the opposable toes, was the one who could walk through walls… he was almost renamed Pixel because of his amazing ability. Irishman did get the story of his various wall-penetrating secrets correct, though. Thumbs was also the one who got busted living with me in the dorms - here’s how that story goes.
Thumbs and I were living in a dorm with no AC that had windows that open up and out. I had left my windows open when I left for class, reasoning that cats were smart enough to know not to jump out of an 8th floor window. Wrong-o.
When the future Mrs. Chef and I came back to my room to check on Thumbs, we found a piece of paper taped to my door that read, “We found your illegal cat. he will be taken to the pound tomorrow and in the meantime is being held outside the dorms.” Asking around revealed that my next-door neighbor, who was violently superstitious (Thumbs was black) came home to find Thumbs hanging from the edge of his open window in the classic “hang in there, baby” position. Screaming like a girl (according to another dormmate), he summoned the RA to remove Thumbs and break the hoodoo.
Depressed, I retrieved my contraband bottle of Scotch (reflecting that at least they hadn’t discovered that) and poured a healthy slug of it into a cup, then went out to the water fountain to cut it a leetle bit. Whereupon I heard this big, loud, deep, very black voice saying, “Get 'im away fum me man, get 'im aWAY fum me!” Looking down the hall, I saw one of the U. of MO football players backed up against the RA’s door by - you guessed it - Thumbs. He had a knack for spotting the superstitious people, I guess, and had walked through walls to screw with one. I went and rescued the big burly lineman from six ounces of kitten (no wonder the team hadn’t won in years) and smuggled him back to my dorm room.
The cat who used to unlock my apartment door, though, was a different one: Wolf. Again, Irishman got the story pretty much right otherwise. Still, one longs for the eerie precision of Notes By Balance (no offense Irish old buddy).
how else would you spell it?
So let me get this straight, Cheffie
You had a black cat, with opposable thumbs, who could walk through walls, and had a knack for picking out the people who would be frightened by him/her?
Are you sure this wasn’t your familiar?
Well gee, if Thumbs WAS my familiar, I am in for an afterlife of torment for neutering him.
He honest to Bastet had opposable thumbs. It was the eeriest thing to watch him hold a Dorito in his front paws and eat it, sitting up on his haunches like a squirrel.