Dammit, news editor, read the AP Stylebook before I throw it at your fucking forehead

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m sure those of you who’ve worked as copyeditors can relate.

The first straw was when he got huffy after I corrected poor sentence construction and incorrect word choice in three of his articles.

The second straw was when he announced that Temple of Doom was a better film than Last Crusade.

The third straw was when he drew me aside to tell me that I was overstepping myself by rewording and rearranging clauses.

The fourth straw was when he KEPT. FUCKING. RANDOMLY LEAVING OUT OBJECTS AND VERBS, leaving us to guess at what he was trying to get at.

The fifth straw was when…oh, there’s too many.

News Editor at my university paper, you are a TOOL. You only change about 40% of my corrections, meaning that when your articles come out with unparallel sentence structure and misused thesaurus words, I look like a doof.

Yes, you’re right, I am five years younger than you. HEY, GUESS WHAT? THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE WORD IS SPELLED “DISSAPEAR”. And by the way, spending six years at a state university? Kind of shooting yourself in the foot when you brag about how long you’ve been here.

Also, a super-special FUCK YOU TO HELL for refusing to make my changes, meaning that the editor-in-chief and I had to WAIT UNTIL YOU LEFT to do them behind your back, leaving me here at… what? what time is it?

FIVE-THIRTY IN THE FUCKING MORNING. MONDAY MORNING. I HAVE A TEN O’CLOCK CLASS WITH A CUTE BOY, ASSWIPE. WAY TO BE A DICKFACE.

Now, I’ve got my corrected copy and the final copy in front of me. I am going to check the final copy very carefully for inconsistencies, and then the editor-in-chief and I are going to send it to press.

If you kvetch about your “authorial voice” being “compromised” tomorrow when it comes out? So help me, God, I will JAM YOU IN THE EYE WITH MY RED PEN. We are a NEWSPAPER. You know what that means? IT MEANS WE LIVE AND DIE BY THE AP STYLEBOOK, AND A LITTLE STRUNK AND WHITE WOULDN’T HURT YOUR OVERWRITTEN DREK ARTICLES EITHER. NEWSPAPER. We write about the NEWS. It is not a forum for expressing yourself, and even the editorial section follows AP style guidelines.

SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND MAKE MY CHANGES BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE TEETH.

2

-Your welcome. :wink:

3

Gaudere’s Law.

Adam

4

No, given the vehemence suffusing the rant, I’d say “jam”, the more forceful word, is the better one, despite the slightly awkward structure it creates. :smiley:

5

If your editor leaves, could I have his job? I’ve always wanted a job where my superior and my subordinate correct and complete my work, yet I don’t get thrown out of the job.

6

Is this the SOU paper? What’s it called, the Siskiyou? Yeah, in my two-odd years going to school there, it wasn’t exactly the paragon of good writing. I feel for ya.

7

Sounds to me like the editor in chief needs to grow some balls. Or ovaries. Or whatever it is that lets you assert your authority.

That’s what the in chief part MEANS.

8

Temple of Doom *was * a better movie than the Last Crusade.

IMO, anyway.

9

I think it’s time for your medicine.

10

I have a good reason! That’s a favorite Indian actor, and there was all kinds of Hindi in there, which I could understand…
Please, not the medicine.

11

Ok, this is fair. You liked ToD for various personal reasons more than LC.

This does not mean that you think it is a better movie, yes?

12

Actually, there was a lot of Last Crusade I didn’t like. For one, it wasn’t as “adventurous” as ToD. There was a lot of tame stuff.

For another, some of it got downright silly.

I adore Sean Connery, though, so all was forgiven. But as for better movie, well, that’s all subjective, IMO.

13

I was pasionate about my college newspaper. This rant made me nostalgic.

I agree though with the poster above that the editor-in-chief needs to put his or her foot down. This is a news editor for crying out loud, so he should know the only voice he should have is AP style. If the editor-in-chief is waiting around to change it later you all should just save some time and do it ahead of time, and if he raises a fit, let him walk.

14

Yes, “jam” was definitely the intended word. “Jab” implies briefness. “Jam” implies I’m going to wedge it in there and maybe wiggle it around for good measure, which is definitely true.

YES! Alas, since we’re a small college with a small journalism program, there’s literally no one to replace him – it’s either put up with him or take on the section ourselves, and neither of us have enough time to do that.

The editor-in-chief kvetched about it last night when I asked if there was anything he could do, but in short, no, there’s no way to kick him out without screwing ourselves, and no way to reprimand him (it’s not a graded option).

So, in short, sucks.

Hey, I write for the paper! :wink:

There’s some of us dedicated to putting out as close to professional-quality as we can, and there’s some of us who, um, are tools. It happens.

15

Yes, “jam” was definitely the intended word. “Jab” implies briefness. “Jam” implies I’m going to wedge it in there and maybe wiggle it around for good measure, which is definitely true.

YES! Alas, since we’re a small college with a small journalism program, there’s literally no one to replace him – it’s either put up with him or take on the section ourselves, and neither of us have enough time to do that.

The editor-in-chief kvetched about it last night when I asked if there was anything he could do, but in short, no, there’s no way to kick him out without screwing ourselves, and no way to reprimand him (it’s not a graded option).

So, in short, sucks.

Hey, I write for the paper! :wink:

There’s some of us dedicated to putting out as close to professional-quality as we can, and there’s some of us who, um, are tools. It happens.
I’m not going to address the ToD vs. LC question any further, except to say that Anaamika is a whackadoodle and Tom Stoppard wins over Kate Capshaw any day of the week with his eyes closed and the pen and paper behind his back. :wink:

16

Also, the news editor is SO EVIL that he tricked the hampsters into a double-post. FIEND OF SATAN, I SAY!

17

It could be worse. The news director at my internship used to work for AP, so he’s a walking stylebook. That’s a lot of fun right there.

Robin

18

Ah! A walking stylebook! That sounds delightful! My job would be a breeze! It would be fun! Professional, competent, non-whiny fun!

makes graspy hands

19

Yes, but you can’t say “jam you in the eye with my red pen.” You can’t jam someone, unless you’re jamming them into something else. You would have to say, “jam my red pen into your eye.”

Be that as it may… as one copy-editor to another, I sympathize heartily. Boy, do I ever. It always seems as though the pissier and more obstreperous the client, the worse the copy.

20

ToD was a flawed gem, but quite good. The only real detraction was the shrillness of the poor helpless “Save me Indyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” Kate Capshaw. ToD had one of the finest opening sequences of any movie.

Last Crusade was a tired rehash of the themes we already saw in Raiders. It had the scattered continuity and plotting of a Dan Brown novel, and turned Indy from the greatest adventure hero in history into a bumbling clown who tripped his way to success with accidental Mr Magoo tactics. Sean Connery was just tacked on comic relief.

Last Crusade was shit.