Damn Cellphones!!!

The BBQ Pit
21

[QUOTE=Auntbeast]
Me: Cell phone use is prohibited at the table.
Dumbfuck: But I’m not in the hand.
Me: Cell PHONE use is PROHIBITED at the table.
Dumbfuck: leans back or turns head
Me: Sir, Cell phone use is prohibited at the table. Please step away from the table.
Dumbfuck: BITCH!
Me: yelling Supervisor, Table 14!
[/QUOTE]

Preach it, girlfriend. When I was shooting craps at Mandalay Bay earlier this month, there was some asshole who wouldn’t turn his phone off and apparently was Mr. Important Guy Who Gets A Call Every Ten Minutes: Ring! “Hey, I can’t talk; I’m in the casino. Yeah, I’ll call you later. Okay. Okay. 'Bye.” Ring! "Hey, I can’t talk; I’m in the casino . . . " Finally the stick man said “Sir, you’ll have to turn your phone off.” He says, “The rule isn’t that it has to be off, just that I can’t talk on it at the table. I’m not talking on it.” The guy next to him said, “Buddy, if that phone rings again I’m gonna rip it out of your hands and throw it into the street.” The guy turned it off, and left the table shortly after.

Inconsiderate fuckers. OTOH, I think it’s funny that casinos accurately reflect that cell phones are NOT truly necessary. In a situation where a cell phone may interfere with someone else’s money-making (or, God forbid, the casino’s money-making), they are almost religiously forbidden.

22

[QUOTE=Incensed]
I knew this going in and was trying to pre-empt your buzzkill with my parenthetical acknowledgement of MPD, while also trying to play (poorly) on the fact(?) that many people confuse the two afflictions. I took a bit of artistic license(schizo is such a funnier than word than MPD/DD) and got called for it, but I assure that I didn’t mean you or your strangely beloved goat any harm.
[/QUOTE]

Me and my goat apologize for jumping the gun. And we love bacon. :cool:

23

[QUOTE=TheFury]
And you know what **really **, **really ** sucks, the fact that if you DO turn it off, you coincidentialy always miss an important call.

[/QUOTE]
How is it that all these people are inundated with “important calls” and yet, I’m 35 years old, and I’ve never had a call in my life that was so important that it couldn’t wait.

Is it possible that what I call “minor inconvenience” everyone else calls “important”?

24

[QUOTE=lorene]
Me and my goat apologize for jumping the gun. And we love bacon. :cool:
[/QUOTE]

Nah, its totally understandable. Since this board is on a sight dedicated to fighting ignorance, I’m actually glad you posted, since my post was a little misleading, and could theoretically have propagated an already widespread misunderstanding. I’ll attempt to be more forthright in any future rants.

But seriously schizophrenic is such a fucking fantastic word, I think I’ll just start using it as a random interjection, like selective Tourette’s.

Co-worker-“So what do you want to do for lunch?”
Me-“SCHIZOPHRENIC!”
Co-worker(baffled)-“Bwah?..uh okay..I just remembered that my wife packed my lunch.” (sidles away, leering at me with appropriate suspicion.)

25

[QUOTE=TheFury]
I hate Cellphones! Ever since they came out, it is impossible to leave the house without having someone call you! Argh!

[/quote]

Just turn it off.

[QUOTE=TheFury]

They are everywhere, and they go off in the places they should not. You know what I’m talking about, the damn ringing going off in the middle of a movie or when you are taking a nap, or even when you are at an intimate moment.

[/quote]

Actually I don’t know what you are talking about, because I **turn mine off ** on all such occasions.
I am in charge, not the phone. :cool:
Why would you want to disturb an entire cinema?
Why would you want to be woken up by a telemarketer?

[QUOTE=TheFury]

And you know what **really **, **really ** sucks, the fact that if you DO turn it off, you coincidentialy always miss an important call.

[/quote]

Can you give examples of these important calls that you miss?

(I check my landline answerphone every day and messages promptly reach me at work. No need for a cell phone annoyance.)

[QUOTE=TheFury]

In this sense, I HATE them, but unfortunatley, it is very difficult to go out without one these days.

[/quote]

It’s not difficult.
Do carry one. Just **turn it off ** when it would disturb others. Your messages will be recorded.

[QUOTE=TheFury]

Haven’t you had people ask you this:

“Hey man, what’s your cell number?”

[/quote]

Certainly. I give them my landline number.

[QUOTE=TheFury]

“I called like 8 times and you did’nt pick up the phone!!”

[/quote]

Ah yes, the younger generation:

“Like, you know, I called you like 8 times and like every time I got a message and like why don’t you answer because it’s like urgent because I want to know if you’ve seen like the latest You Tube.”

[QUOTE=TheFury]
Seriously, people managed to live without these freakin’ interupting, noisemaking, privacy neglecting machines for many years. Now, people can’t live without one.

[/quote]

Well like you know I asked one friend what she thought of like cell phones and she went like “Oh God! I gotta like keep it on **ALL THE TIME ** BECAUSE YOU NEVER LIKE KNOW WHO MIGHT CALL AND LIKE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I MISSED ONE?!”
My other friend just switches his cell on when it’s convenient to use it. At that time he checks his messages.

26

I know people who have gotten a second cell phone. That way, when you call them on the first one, they can tell you to hold on and then let you listen while they talk on the second one!

I fucking give up!

27

You wanna know what I really fucking hate about my brand new upgraded cell phone? That I can’t figure out a way to give different contacts individual ringtones.
:smiley:
Seriously, I have mine off most of the time and very few people have the number anyway.

28

Important calls that I’ve gotten on my cell phone in the six years I’ve had it:

-my Mom got lost the first time she tried to get to my new house, and I had to drive to where she ended up and lead her to the right place;

  • co-worker needed a ride at the last minute to get to work on time (medical emergency in his family that required the car but not his prescence);

Everything else was just nice to know or less important. And the number is on my business card.

29

And what about those fucking telegrams? Goddamn Western Union. Some fucker comes up to your house, rings the bell, and has the unmitigated audacity to shove a piece of paper under your nose. And then wants you to sign for it. I blame it all on the alphabet.

30

[QUOTE=UncleBeer]
And what about those fucking telegrams? Goddamn Western Union. Some fucker comes up to your house, rings the bell, and has the unmitigated audacity to shove a piece of paper under your nose. And then wants you to sign for it. I blame it all on the alphabet.
[/QUOTE]
Okay, let’s just go all the way. It’s those words, man, goddamned words. People spittin’ 'em at each all the time, misunderstanding ‘em, categorizin’ 'em as nouns, verbs, adjectives and whatnot when they should just leave well enough alone.

Words (and crying babies) are gonna be the downfall of civilization yet, I tell ya.

31

So my wife and I have been hunting for a new apartment lately. One place was having open inspections, so we go to the property management office to pick up a set of keys. We show ID, give them the $50 deposit, sign the sheet, but then we get…the question…

“What’s your mobile number?” (Note: cell phones are called mobile phones in Australia.)
“We don’t have a mobile phone.”
“Oh.” long pause “Well…alright, but normally we don’t give out keys to people without a mobile number.”
“What? Why not?”
“So we can call you if you don’t return the keys in an hour.”
So what the hell is the deposit for? is the question I didn’t ask at this point.

There you have it. Mobile phones aren’t just commonplace in Melbourne, they’re expected, and if you don’t have one then apparently you’re some kind of untrustworthy Luddite freak.

32

I love Cell phone bashers. I really do.

You are all the same as the previous generations before you, talking bad about MP3 players, CD’s, Walkmans, boomboxes, Color Television, cars, etc.

I love how people talk like everybody NEEDS a cell phone, or that our calls are SOOO important, as if we were all doctors. Sometimes when at the mall it is nice to be able to be reached by your party in case of separation. Sure, there are ways around it, and it is only one example, but all the little convenience that a cell phone offers add up.

You don’t NEED a car to live, but it makes it easier. You don’t need internet to live, but it makes it more enjoyable. You don’t NEED a cell phone, but some of us actually LIKE to be able to be reached at all times.

And some of us still turn off our phone (or in my case my ringer is hardly ever on unless I am at home). Many of us don’t talk on the cell phone while standing in line, and many of us cell phone users are considerate.

But you keep the good fight going! Down with those new fangled printing presses.

33

I hate the things but have to carry one for my job. The Air Force provides it and it must be turned on from 0500 until 2200. Otherwise, its off. I don’t even answer it unless it is my boss…wait a minute, my cell is ringing…I’ll finish this post later, my buddy is calling to see if I saw the newest YouTube.