Damn it feels good to be a pig sometimes.

Having no current job, and no curent refrigerator My eating has but somewhat less exciting than usual over the last couple months. I stop into Albertson’s today looking for something a little more than normal right next to the door I see a meat case, with a big sign “Country style Pork Ribs 99 cents a pound” This sounds promising, So I take a look, No meat, crap it’s empty.

Like an angel from heaven A white shirted guy pushs a cart to the case and starts filling it up. The meat is good not surplus get rid of stuff, Clearly a loss-leader with it’s next to the door location.
In fact the meat looks damn good. That was confirmed by the two groups of little old ladies also looking at the meat. One group spoke only Spanish, and the other group was speaking what I think was was Vietnamese, but from the prodding, poking, smelling nodding and smiling, it clearly passed the test. But the smallest pack is 8 pounds, of well at 99 c/pd it’s probabbly a good time to throw a Barbecue for friends. A few phones calls, and it’s all a go. I head home with 9 pounds of ribs, a bag of potatoes.

I figure I can fit about 6 pounds worth on, So I start cooking. The phone rings, I hear Mom came into town, and they won’t make it. Phone rings again The Dude is stuck a work till around 11:00 pm, he’s out. Phone rings again, taking girlfreind to hospital for broken arm. Crap, I got five pounds of Ribs, and no friends to help.
Now since I have no fridge, there was only one honorable solution, For it is written “any guy who wastes BBQ will have his golden tongs revoked and his vents permanently closed”. I gave it the most heroic effort I could and put away five pounds of the best damn ribs I have ever made. But I had to surrender, I will eat no more forever(well tonight at least). My late working friend will be picking up the rest of the cooked and raw ribs, so rest assured they will not be wasted.

The story will probably gross some of you out, but I sit here with a smile that can only be produced by a man who has five pounds of ribs, and a quart of so of beer in the stomach. It will soon enough turn into the scowl that can only be produced by a man with 5 pounds of ribs worth of heartburn, but for now, Damn it feels good to be a glutton.


I raise a beer to you, a true lover of BBQ and a fine person!

Man, that sounds sooooo good. I think I could have helped you eat about three pounds of those ribs myself, but not all five (not like you were asking, heh, heh…!)

[sub]I am famous, you know, for eating large quantities of meat in one sitting.[/sub] :smiley:

To you, wolfman, for your keen understanding and gallantry.

I salute you, brother in pork.

Hey Creaky, how YOU doin’? :wink:

[sub]You are a girl, right?[/sub]

I think I’m in love.

Gassendi and indecisive 1: yeah, I’m a girl …and y’all are just naughty, naughty boys! :smiley:

And then it will turn into the grimace of the man with five pounds of ribs in his colon. :smiley:

No, don’t mind me, I’m just jealous. I wish I had five pounds of ribs. I do have 5 litres of beer though. I love mini kegs.

Reminds me of the time I ate that three-pound hamburger.

For finishing it, along with the fries, I got a T-shirt, my picture on the wall, and a free slice of pie!

I saved the pie for later, though.

Are you my brother?

You sound like my brother.

You eat like my brother.

So, is you is or is you isn’t my brother??

(Oh, yeah…ribs…i’m droolin’ here.)

Ribs? Mini-kegs?

Well, I know what I’m doing this week.


Reminds me of that time me and my friends went to this steak house that had an All-The-Ribs-You-Can-Eat evening and had a rib-eating competition. We were 7 people and ordered 70 helpings of ribs in total. Ah, good times, good times.

I think they abolished All-The-Ribs-You-Can-Eat evening after that…

<vaguely remembers eating 2 racks of ribs at an all you can eat bbq place after spending the last 40 hrs drunk>

Did anyone else read that as “Damn, it’s good to feel a pig sometimes?”

Never mind.

Ahem, how come no one has asked?

How did you cook them?

Oh, and does being a pig mean you’re a cannibal for eating the Country Style ribs? :stuck_out_tongue:

Please tell me you tied the bones in your hair and didn’t wash your hands afterwards. If so, Dude, we can hang!