Having no current job, and no curent refrigerator My eating has but somewhat less exciting than usual over the last couple months. I stop into Albertson’s today looking for something a little more than normal right next to the door I see a meat case, with a big sign “Country style Pork Ribs 99 cents a pound” This sounds promising, So I take a look, No meat, crap it’s empty.
Like an angel from heaven A white shirted guy pushs a cart to the case and starts filling it up. The meat is good not surplus get rid of stuff, Clearly a loss-leader with it’s next to the door location.
In fact the meat looks damn good. That was confirmed by the two groups of little old ladies also looking at the meat. One group spoke only Spanish, and the other group was speaking what I think was was Vietnamese, but from the prodding, poking, smelling nodding and smiling, it clearly passed the test. But the smallest pack is 8 pounds, of well at 99 c/pd it’s probabbly a good time to throw a Barbecue for friends. A few phones calls, and it’s all a go. I head home with 9 pounds of ribs, a bag of potatoes.
I figure I can fit about 6 pounds worth on, So I start cooking. The phone rings, I hear Mom came into town, and they won’t make it. Phone rings again The Dude is stuck a work till around 11:00 pm, he’s out. Phone rings again, taking girlfreind to hospital for broken arm. Crap, I got five pounds of Ribs, and no friends to help.
Now since I have no fridge, there was only one honorable solution, For it is written “any guy who wastes BBQ will have his golden tongs revoked and his vents permanently closed”. I gave it the most heroic effort I could and put away five pounds of the best damn ribs I have ever made. But I had to surrender, I will eat no more forever(well tonight at least). My late working friend will be picking up the rest of the cooked and raw ribs, so rest assured they will not be wasted.
The story will probably gross some of you out, but I sit here with a smile that can only be produced by a man who has five pounds of ribs, and a quart of so of beer in the stomach. It will soon enough turn into the scowl that can only be produced by a man with 5 pounds of ribs worth of heartburn, but for now, Damn it feels good to be a glutton.
Reminds me of that time me and my friends went to this steak house that had an All-The-Ribs-You-Can-Eat evening and had a rib-eating competition. We were 7 people and ordered 70 helpings of ribs in total. Ah, good times, good times.
I think they abolished All-The-Ribs-You-Can-Eat evening after that…