Damn Proctologists!

Y’know if I hear another fuckin proctologist call me a fuckin colonist again I’m gonna fuckin vomit! Hey, assholes! We didn’t fight to get kicked in the ass just to show you our assholes for you to keep callin us fuckin colonists! We are more than COLONS, we are . . .

…this isn’t working, is it…



From an actual catalog: “Disco balls create an enchanting, dazzling effect of light shafts, adding movement and glamour to any occasion”
the Abrams’ bris was certainly memorable
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com

'Morning, Opal.

Maybe I’m just bored, but that was REALLY funny.


You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

What’s the worst thing you can hear a proctologist say?

“Look, no hands!”


You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

Speaking of which, did anyone tape Katie Kouric’s colonoscopy? I’d pay postage…

This was funny. :slight_smile:

I’m sure it was NOT as funny at the time.

Ok , Opal. Don’t go banannas. You don’t wanna go see the proctologist? No problem. Anything to help a friend. I’ll help.

Bend over.

(Now, where did I put that Alien Anal Probe Cartman loaned me?) :smiley:


You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks
“You should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself.” - Bill Clinton

Bosda: No, actually I’ve never been to a proctologist. I was just spoofing the “Damn Brits” thread.



From an actual catalog: “Disco balls create an enchanting, dazzling effect of light shafts, adding movement and glamour to any occasion”
the Abrams’ bris was certainly memorable
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com

Q: What’s the difference between a proctologist and a bartender?

A: A proctologist only has to deal with one ah* at a time.

I’ve always wondered about proctologists. When exactly did they get the calling to proceed down this particular career path?

TEACHER: Now, let’s go around the room and tell the class what each of us wants to do when we grow up. Bobby, you’ll start.

BOBBY: When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut!

MARY: When I grow up, I want to be an airplane pilot!

MIKEY: When I grow up, I want to be a proctologist!

Seriously, at what point do you decide that you want to look up people’s butts for a living? Do you major in proctology at med school? Are there certain schools that have world-reknowned proctology programs? These questions have always bothered me…


Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.

I’ve always wondered the same thing–but sometimes you just get fascinated by things that you would never have thought you would be fascinated by.

An example: I used to work in an outdoor store–and I found that I LOVED selling shoes. How weird is that? I was never happier than when I set someone up in a great pair of hiking boots or Tevas. Maybe some med students find the same fascination and satisfaction in butts. [insert lame homosexual joke here]

-Bean, who got out of the shoe business because she was damn tired of all the Al Bundy jokes.

Damn it, NTG, I was trying to avoid posting that old proctologist/asstronaut gag! :o


You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

neuro-trash grrrl, assuming your questions are not asked entirely in jest:

Proctology = prostate trouble = $$$

Damn! I never get to have any fun. :frowning:

Spoilsport.

You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks
“You should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself.” - Bill Clinton

What’s the worst thing you can say to the
proctolaogist???

Doc, can you remove your wedding ring??
Doc replies, “sorry, That’s my wrist watch.”


I pity the fool that brings a knife to a gun fight.

I asked Dr. Boyfriend the same thing about urology, and his response was pretty much Green Bean’s - you never know what will grab your attention.

Remember, too, that a doctor doesn’t look at your ass and say, “EWW! Gross! I’m not going in there!” You are a piece of meat to them, and they are only interested in your organs and the problems you have for them to solve. In a detatched sort of way, you’re not a person at all - that’s part of their job description. So, if the digestive tract or the urinary tract or ear/nose/throat or whatever interests them, they pursue it. And, yes, the financiality of their specialty influences them as well. (For the record, Dr. Boyfriend is going into family practice.)

The medical student regimen is fascinating to me as well, as Dr. Boyfriend is the second med student I’ve dated.

Dr. Boyfriend got his undergraduate degree at Johns Hopkins in Biology and I think Chemistry. He then took two years and did research at the NIH in Bethesda. Then he got into Robert Wood Johnson medical school in New Jersey (and also just recently completed his Master’s degree in public health).

The first two years of med school, from what I understand, are just that - school, classes, whatnot. Your third and fourth years you do rotations every 4 weeks in different fields - neurology, OB/GYN, ER, internal medicine, etc. - but you’re still considered a student, so you watch and learn and go to the occassional lecture and have to take tests on what you’ve learned.

Then, when you graduate, not only can you write prescriptions (woo hoo!), you have the option of just going into private practice, which means you’re a General Practitioner; this option is hardly ever taken up on, because today it’s specialize, specialize, specialize, so almost all medical school graduates interview at different hospitals for the program they wish to become “board certified” in - surgery, family practice, urology, ENT, ER, whatever. (GP’s are also mostly out of date because Family Practice is now an accepted residency program, but it’s still a fairly new specialized field per se.) (Oh, and the process for interviewing and matching at programs is very, very interesting, but I’ll leave that for another post if you want the info.) So, since Dr. Boyfriend wants to go into FP, he interviewed at about 11 different programs, and got matched at Jefferson Hospital here in Philadelphia, where he will spend the next 3 years to get board certified in family practice. During this time he will continue to do rotations as a resident, but it is a specialized regimen to his program - he’ll do OB/GYN, pediatrics, some surgery, but he won’t have to do, for example, neurology, beyond knowing the basics he’s already learned. And after those 3 years, he opens shop, either in a hospital, on his own, or in a clinic.

(He also informed me that he’s now about $77K in debt, which is less than I thought he’d be.)

Does that help, luv?

Esprix


Ask the Gay Guy!