Why can’t I find a knife which can conveniently spread butter? Why must you serrate all of your household blades? Don’t you see how hard it is to remove margarine from serrations, for those of us unblessed with specialist butter knives?
When I was young blades were thin and had parallel edges and a rounded end. Now look at them, all pointy and thick and serrated. It’s not meant to be a saw, you know. The thickness renders inconvenient the piercing of, for example, sausages, which tend to roll around and resist penetration by a serrated edge when a proper thin edge would go through. And the butter spreading. Even if you can get the butter out you will ruin your cleaning cloths or pads in so doing. You have created a knife useless for every purpose for which it may be used, and these have somehow eradicated useful knives from every shop and shelf I can find, so I have only one twenty year old knife to use.
And now it begins with the forks. Just the other day I was in a cafe when a nice plate of chips was presented to me, with a knife and fork. The knife was obviously a horrible serrated monstrosity, but the fork was new: it had three prongs rather than four! This meant, with the thin chips generally used at that cafe, that the prongs were both too thick and too far apart to properly apprehend their prey.
Next, no doubt, a spoon with a hole in the bottom.
I can’t get behind the reasons for your pit, although the spirit is good.
I have lots of finely serrated butter knives, and have no problems with stuff getting stuck in them, just wash them. Or else, why are you using steak knives to spread butter.
I have seen 3-tines forks for my entire life. I’ll bet one is for salad or something, or I would bet if I weren’t a savage who grabs the first stabbing implement at hand. I have no idea which “Newark” you mean, but I’m going to guess that “chips” means pommes frites, because eating potato chips with a fork is just stupid. On the other hand, you’re supposed to eat chips (fries) with your hands.
I just whip out a Bowie knife at every meal and eat everything using that. That means I cut with it, and then pick up and eat chunks of meat off of the tip.
I put a set of cheap steak knives (non-serrated) in the silverware slot for dinner knives because of exactly this problem. They’re what I use day to day, and I sympathize. I do have to ask one thing, though: Why are you eating chips with a knife and fork? I’m assuming it’s the British usage of the word chips, but still, why?
I only eat fries with my hands in a fast food place. In a regular restaurant, or at home, I use a fork. (At home I put salt, vinegar, and ketchup on my fries before I start eating them. A fork is fairly necessary.)
Malt vinegar I presume. (Right? Or else you got some ‘splainin’, Frank). It’s a common combination with fish and chips (fries). Without fish it’s less common, but not completely out there. As long as you use your damn hands to eat them.
There is only one place in town which sells butter knives, which is horribly expensive, the more general shops sell only massive carving knives or normal dinner knives, with forks and spoons, apparently all in the same design, and all the knives are crudely serrated.
Savage is right.
But surely too big to conveniently scoop and spread?
That’s the done thing. You don’t eat hot food with your hands unless it comes in a bun. Even chip shops have little wooden forks to use, so obviously a cafe will provide a knife and fork.
If I knew what they were, I’m sure they would.
You’ll be telling me you don’t have brown sauce on yours, next.
Not a matter of pansitude, but of proper etiquette. I might make an exception for eating outdoors, but hot food on a plate should be eaten with a fork.
You know why Cutler only played one series against the Packers in the NFC championship game? People will tell you he went out with a knee injury, but insiders know he’s just a pansy that eats french fries with a fork.
I’m not a huge fan, but suddenly the bell rang!