Danger, danger, danger at the buffet

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It’s a casual-style wedding reception, outdoors…
A stand up affair, with buffet food , serve yourself. A warm evening, the sun is setting…and the shadows leave some parts of the garden a bit darker than others.

The caterer is good…Food is plentiful, each table has a different selection.Some of it is Mexican style, and very,very spicy, so you tell your friend that this table where you are standing isn’t the one for her…
So…
From a distance, you watch your friend wander over to another table over there, to see what’s good.
And, from a distance, you look at the pretty display of enticing food on that table, the one farthest away, in the shadows…
And, from a distance, you see your friend pick up a cracker from the big plate next to the spread of food on that table.
And, from a distance, you see her use a knife to cover the cracker with a nice spread of the green avocado dip from the serving dish on the table…
And, from a distance, you think,“gee, that table looks like it has a nice selection of sushi…”
And, from a distance, your mind puts two and two together…

And ,from a distance, you try to politely scream a warning…

But, alas, it is too late…
The cracker is in your friend’s mouth…
spread with a million gallons of wasabi sauce.

2

A video would have been worth a million dollars…

3

I was once at a birthday lunch at a sushi restaurant. One of the women put an enormous amount of wasabi on her sushi. Several people pointed out to her that it was very spicy, and she might not want to put that much into her mouth at once. She dismissed them, saying that she ate sushi all the time and loved wasabi.

I had never before seen someone with steam coming out of their ears, like a cartoon character. Seriously, her face turned absolutely bright red, with sweat pouring down it, but of course she had to sit there quietly and pretend that it wasn’t bothering her. Very amusing it, and I still remember her every time I see wasabi.

4

Did you do the slow-motion, distorted “Noooooooo!” thing, arms flailing to get her attention? :smiley:

5

Were you able to catch her eyeballs when they popped out?

6

:eek:

(An outdoor sushi buffet? In warm weather? How do they pull that off? Unless it didn’t include any actual raw seafood.)

7

My thoughts exactly. “Oh, thank goodness, she only ate the wasabi.”

It coulda bin woise, I tells ya.

8

Heh.

Why were there crackers on a sushi table, though?

9

I had a bite of sushi with a smidgeon too much wasabi. The heat came on pretty quickly, but then dissipated quickly, too.

If there’s a saving grace to the OP’s friend’s experience, that’s it.

10

heh…my wife took 2 inch square slices of salmon, put a ball of wasabi inside while I not watching and rolled it up. Then fed it to me…

11

…and 2 hours later, they’ll do it again… :eek:

12

OT:
Fellow Boston-area insomniac? Or were you up early rather than late?

13

I did this, and at a wedding buffet too. In my defense, I was about 16 at the time and wasn’t familiar with sushi. Also, the guy was slicing up avocados RIGHT THERE! What else could the green stuff be? So I tried a piece of sushi with a nice big spoonful of avocado stuff on top.

Luckily, I was able to find a quiet corner and extract it from my mouth relatively unobtrusively.

14

I remember the first time I went to a pho restaurant. I was unfamiliar with the concept and so immitated those around me who looked like they knew what they were doing. They all seemed to be squirting small amounts of ketchup into their soup. I figured hey, I like ketchup, I’ll squirt a nice huge blob into my soup.

That was 15 years ago. I’m still crying.

15

a heaping teaspoon is the right amount per piece.

if you don’t sneeze you didn’t take enough.

16

I’m picturing her head disapearing in softened * POOF * and a whiff of smoke. Maybe a brief flash which barely catches the attention of a few loitering guests.

17

Recently I dropped by the drug store on a busy afternoon to grab a bottle of the lavender-oil based nasal spray I use when sinus/nasal congestion overwhelms me.

I found the brand, the bottle had changed a bit since last year, but the wording was the same “herbal nasal decongestant.”

I bought it, ran to the car, and cursed the clock while wrenching open the bubble packaging on the way through the highway on-ramp. Then I finally got it open and sprayed it into my nose . . . at which point I became aware that they had changed the formulation, it is now 10% capsaicin.* :eek::confused::eek::confused::eek:

Fortunately the shoulder was clear and I was right beside it. The worst part was that it didn’t even clear my sinuses.

*The “Active ingredient” in hot peppers, pepper spray, that sort of thing.

18

I love spicy Indian food, and I was feeling lazy a few months ago, so I was thrilled to see a new “spicy biryani” mix at the Indian grocery store. I measured out the required amount and added it to chicken and rice.

My stepdaughter took one bite and spat it out, screaming in pain. I asked her what was wrong, and her face was already contorted. I took a bite myself. It felt like I’d been kicked in the mouth. Let me see that biryani mix again…first ingredient: ground chili pepper (50%). We ended up having to throw it all out. I’d put the equivalent of a 1/2 of a cup of hot chili powder into a meal for four.

19

Oh, spicy cock sauce. I’m so happy they warned me before I had any.

20

Is it wrong that after reading that, I have a sudden, desperate craving for wasabi (and therefore, sushi)?