Strengths:
Evil henchman of the Galactic Empire. Full knowledge of the Force. Completely ruthless. Hell of a light saber swordsman. Cool black outfit strikes fear in enemies. Outsells Satan action figures 106,871 to 1.
Flaws:
Turns into a wus when he sees his son getting his ass kicked by the Evil Emperor, therefore might be soft. Asthma. Mortal.
Satan:
Strengths:
Fallen angel, creator of all that is Evil. Rebelled against God, which is pretty ballsy. Supposedly immortal. While Vader has telepathic powers, Satan is a supernatural spirit who can take human form- nice trick.
Flaws:
According to Bible, will eventually get his ass kicked by God and be thrown into a pit of fire for eternity. May have fatal complex. Also, unlike Vader, not very good at convincing everyone he really exists. Influence might only be over the planet Earth, and not over an entire Galaxy like Vader.
Agreed–John Glover could tie Vader in some fancy knots (before pushing him off a high place with one finger)…unless, of course, Vader somehow knew to go for the eyes. That would even things up a bit. Even so, he’s nearly invulnerable, can appear and disappear dramatically, and is much better at mind-games than Vader and Palpatine put together.
“They think they can beat the Devil. Well, nobody beats me. Nobody.”
On the other hand, if it’s just a guy with a plastic pitch-fork and red tights hopping around and making cackling noises, then Vader will cut him in half.
Further to this, in relation to the lesser reincarnation charge brought by Mr Satan’s lawyers regarding the post-death barbecue mentioned above, we contend that Mr D.Vader be discharged from all charges of New Age sympathies by the argument that one J.Christ, Son and Incarnation of the aforementioned ETERNAL God, wore sandals and long hair and that whatever was good enough for Him, m’lud, is good enough for us.
Thus Mr D.Vader wins by default. Mr L.Satan is a liar and a show-off, and has failed to persuade this court.
C’mon, guys, I don’t think you’ve thought this through very well. Now, there are three ways that Darth and Satan could meet. Satan could erupt up through the floor of the Death Star in a big fireball (or some other convenient computer-generated-type special effect), and do battle with Darth. Secondly, Darth could descend, Greek-mythology-style, into Hell to prove that he is the baddest of the bad. Or third, Satan could wait for Darth to die, at which point he comes to Hell, and then beat on him there (and since we all know that “you can’t take it with you,” Darth will be armorless and lightsaberless when he shows up, unfortunately for him)
Of course, you Star Wars junkies out there will immediately point out: Darth’s not going to Hell! He turned to the Light Side before he died by killing off Palpatine! That’s why he gets to float around the Ewok party with Yoda and Obi-Wan at the end of Return of the Jedi. So Theory #3 is obviously false.
So, if Satan and Darth ever met, Darth obviously won! (Hmmm…that’s not the answer I expected to get) And of course, if were looking at the whole thing from a much deeper perspective then I really meant to, we all knew that from the start…Darth eventually wins his battle with Evil in the end
Wow. I can’t believe I wrote that much about this topic.
Satan. Darth has significant force powers, but is not the most powerful in that aspect. He is a competent swordsman, strong in the force, but lacks technique and is hindered by his somewhat-clumsy cybernetic portions. He’s better than Luke was when they fought, but not by much, and Luke was rather new to the whole Jedi thing (less than 10 years experience by the time of RotJ, if I recall correctly). Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, or Darth Maul would definitely stomp Darth Vader in a fair duel, and would have a good chance of beating him even if Vader fought dirty by throwing stuff around with his Force powers.
Satan, on the other hand, is a former Archangel, probably has thousands of years of flaming-sword experience before the Fall, and unless you believe he has been locked up tight in Hell since then he’s probably gathered lots of evil tricks since then. He’s a supernatural being, not just a mortal with supernatural powers. He had a hand in designing the universe, and was second only to God in power until the birth of Jesus. I also believe that Satan could not be killed, Vader obviously could be.
So went Satan forth from the presence of the FORCE, and smote Vader with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his helmet.
Vader was really pissed.
Satan then attempted to enter Vader like Judas, but then the Dark Side, having the same consistence of pure evil acted like a brick wall and Satan was groggy after the colossal hit.
Sensing a chance Vader got his lightsaber and sliced Satan.
Satan was left in pieces.
Ha! It is only a flesh wound!!! Satan’s head retorted, but Vader did not remain around to chat with his defeated opponent, he was gone, seeking ashes and Bactine.
Well, he cheats death by ascending to an Obi Wan Kenobish post-mortem state. I’ll rather refer to him as pseudo-mortal or quasi-immortal.
Hmmm, both can manipulate people’s minds. They can move heavy objects by sheer will (Obi Wan through his alliance with the force; Jesus with God). Both have a tricky way of dying (corpse dissapears, soul ascends to a higher spiritual plane). I guess this is the kind of question only Celebrity Deathmatch can appropiately settle.
How 'bout, The Force vs. The Schwartz?
Back on subject, I don’t think either Vader or Satan could do jackshit against Darth Maul’s double-edged light saber.
Right, but Regis Philbin is Satan, so we have an impasse of stupidity. When you get down to it the question is Regis Philbin -vs- Barney The Purple Dinasour (the original Darth Vader by the way) and I would have to give it to Barney/Darth because Regis/Satan dresses like a nob. Not that Barney is Christian LaCroix, but Darth Vader is the smoothest MF this side of Shaft. Black leater re-enforced body suit, huge rebel crushing boots, intimidating cape, AND he has James Earl Jones’ voice? Unbeatable combo.
