I work at a local supermarket, operating checkout while I’m earning my degree. I’m a reader and a writer and while quiet I’m not anti-social.
There’s this girl at work, another uni student around my age, who’s very pretty and loves reading. Despite the fact that when she stands next to me the top of her head is level with my shoulder (I’m almost 6 foot 5, which is around 192 cm) she seems like them I d of person I’d be interested in.
I can’t find her on Facebook, and I don’t get to see her much, but we smile at each other a lot and we talk like we’re more familiar than we’ve really had a chance to become.
My question is: what do I do here? I’m not thinking of asking her out just yet, though I’m not totally against the idea. How do I strike up a conversation with her and perhaps ask for some contact details? I should mention that we never have breaks together.
Also, since this is my first post please go easy on me. If i’ve done something stupid or made some sort of mistake please don’t swallow me hope and slowly digest me. Thanks.
Well, I do hope your user name is not your real name. If it is, the first time she looks you up on Google (especially with the word “supermarket”) she’ll find this thread.
“Would you like to meet for coffee later?” seems like a good, short opener and it doesn’t signify an actual date. Her response should tell you if she’s interested in pursuing further conversation with you.
And by the way, I’m new but I have found the folks here to be super polite and helpful. The one time I saw a rude post, the mod was on it in a flash. Of course, I haven’t visited the political forum <grin>.
Thanks for the answers, too. Problem with ‘do you wanna meet for coffee later’ is that it’s a little scary to actually do, but I did ask for advice on how to talk to her, not on how to be a huge wimp. Perhaps I’ll just have to bite the bullet.
I hope that’s an expression everyone uses because if not I probably look weird right now.
I think it’s probably possible to get useful practical tips on how to strike up a conversation with someone or ask them out on a date. For example, since you both like reading you could ask her about the book you saw her with recently.
On the other hand, once you’ve done it a bunch of times, striking up conversations with cute women and asking them on dates just comes naturally. I could tell you it’s easy and you’re making it too complicated, but you need to do it a bunch of times and see how easy it is for yourself.
You also need to awkwardly get shot down a few times and realize it’s not that bad either. Most people are kind. They’ll lie and say they have a boyfriend or need to wash their hair that night because it’s kind of awkward for them too.
You really are making it too hard though. Strike up one good conversation and ask her out for coffee or juice/alcohol at the end of it.
Not specifically a checkout person, but I have dated co-workers and once, my boss. This was back when I was younger and working in restaurants. I never had a problem, even after a break-up.
I wouldn’t recommend it once you get into a career, though. Then it’s wiser to keep your personal life separate from your professional one. Just my opinion, and I will add that sometimes love finds you no matter how wisely you plan.
I had a friend once who worked as a cashier and dated a fellow cashier. The only thing I know about their relationship is that one time she accidentally broke his penis while having sex.
I’m not saying that always happens when dating a checkout coworker, but until we hear from someone else with counter example I think we should follow a precautionary principle and assume it always happens.
Time to man up Michael. You’re not asking her to marry you and have all of your babies. You’re asking her to go have a drink and talk. There’s no long term commitment that you are asking her to make. Get some confidence. If she says no, then it’s her loss, and you find someone else to ask for coffee, even the other checkout girl that’s also 6’5". You say, well I’m not interested in her. It doesn’t matter, you need practice on going on dates and building your confidence, remember it’s just for a drink and conversation. You aren’t asking her to marry you.
I often suggest to friends that they ask a woman out to dinner. If they barely know her, like Michael, I’ll suggest drinks or even coffee. I often get told that it would be “coming on too strong” or “too soon”.
I understand rejection can be scary, but that kind of attitude is exactly what leads to bitter men whining about having friendship instead of romance. Asking a woman on a date is just about the minimum you can do and still make your romantic interest clear. It’s the opposite of coming on too strong.
