Dating not working? If you're a virgin become a consecrated Bride of Christ

Woman joins small club of ‘consecrated virgins’
43-year-old in New York turns down sex for Jesus in rare Catholic ceremony

Gee…I wonder how the sex is…

"My sister is a fundamentalist pentecostal Christian… she says she’s married to Jesus. I said, ‘Cool! That makes Jesus my brother-in-law! And yet we never see him at family functions.’ " - Suzanne Westenhoefer

I thought God wanted humans to “be fruitful and multiply”. Just because it hasn’t worked out so far, does that mean she can give up? How many of other God’s “requests” can be ignored if they don’t work out?

That could be a mistranslation – maybe “fruitful” is “fruity”. Maybe God wants flamboyant gay worshippers who are good at math. :wink:

We have. Isn’t there enough people already?

Damn, those virgins have all the fun.

Did God come out with Bible 2.0 stating that we have enough people? Until new orders arrive, aren’t we supposed to consider the original orders still valid?

Maybe this isn’t enough people for God.

Bible 2.0 did come out (the book of Mormon), and this upgrade still says you gotta have a lot of kids (and if you’re a man, a lot of wives). I haven’t checked out the patches, though.

I don’t think the book of mormon says anything about multiple wives, I’m pretty sure that’s a “fringe” benefit

I think Paul, in the NT, say that it’s better to abstain from sex for your entire life, but if you’re a total pussy and can’t hack that, it’s (barely) acceptable to get married and have a bunch of kids instead.

So, yeah, Bible 2.0 does change the orders, as I understand it.

Since I have at times encountered brides who I suspected were getting married more for the big “Barbie Dream Wedding” than because they had met the man they truly wanted to spend their life with, I figure having this sort of ceremony (which sounds like it’s essentially a wedding minus the groom) is harmless in comparison.

I guess it does seem a little sad though that it sounds like she wanted marriage but just didn’t meet the right guy and gave up. :frowning: It’s never really too late to meet the right person as long as you’re still breathing. Maybe she wasn’t meant to settle down at 20 or 30, but was meat to meet a great guy at 45 and maybe adopt some orphans with him or something.

Lesbian? Check! Math Major? Check! Catholic? Check! Woohoo! If Boyo Jim’s idea is correct, that’s gotta mean good things for me.

Actually, it does (scroll down to the highlighted portion). In this case, it’s talking about the unauthorized practice of having more than one wife (as opposed to the practice of having more than one wife with God’s permission).

Anyway, we LDS don’t see the Book of Mormon as being “The Bible 2.0.” It’s a companion to the Bible.

Actually that was a development fork arising out of whether the GPL should retroactively apply. So there is OpenBible 2.0, NetBible 2.0, etc.

(While RMS still thinks he’s God, BibleHurd has been “5 years away from release” for 20 years.)

A companion to the bible? Is that like a “domestic partnership” or a “civil union”? :wink:

They did release a patch for the multiple wives thing.

Hey this sounds kind of cool…married to Jesus…what were the statutes again?

Christian: tick

Female: tick

Virgin: …uh…nevermindgottogobye!

Forget Bible 2.0. It’s still a challenge trying to fix all the bugs introduced when it was ported to English hundreds of years ago.

I hope God got her to sign a pre-nup. Because he’s going to look foolish if she leaves him in a couple of years and sues for half his assets.