Day Jobs for Superheroes

I’m sure this one has been done before, but search is broken, so …

I got to thinking:
Superman - fast, strong, heat-beam eyes - why is he wasting his time as a reporter? If he went to a career counsellor, I’m sure they’d recommend he take a job in: High Rise Construction.

The Flash - fast, not much else. Clearly destined for a lifetime as a parcel courier.

Some superpowers though, just don’t lend themselves to anything but fighting super-powered bad guys.

Criteria: Jobs must not be sports, law-enforcement, or involve dishonest use of the superpowers. (This includes rigging games of chance, as well as out-and-out lawbreaking).

What mundane roles can we cast superheroes in?
Spiderman? The invisible woman? ShadowCat? NightStalker?

Spiderman already is a cameraman, and his abilities are well-suited to this, IMO. He’s flexible, strong, and can climb walls, so he can do a lot of things to get a shot that nobody else could take.

Nightcrawler: with his ability to teleport, he seems perfect for rescuing people from mineshafts and other areas blocked to other people. He has to see where he’s going, but snaking a camera through rubble or whatever is probably easier than getting people through. Also, in many cases we can see the victims, just not get to them.

Green Lantern . . . well, just about anything.

The Spectre – grief counselor (“I’ve been through it.”) He can open up an agency with Deadman.

Batman could totally get a job doing commercials for condoms:

“Always be prepared.”

Superman would make millions carrying satellites into orbit. Best delivery boy ever.

I don’t think Superman’s skills are best used in construction. I think more building inspection. Super x-ray vision and superhearing would let him see faults in construction or hear acoustically if something has been assembled improperly (I’m thinking ductwork) or was experiencing inappropriate stresses, etc.

Spiderman would be an amazing window washer for extremely tall buildings.

My knowledge of the strength of Wolverine’s claws is limited, but from their looks, the obvious work for him would be landscaping. He could do amazing topiary hedge design, like Edward Scissorhands.

Wonder Woman knows how to fly a plane, albeit an invisible one, so she obviously needs to get her licensing in order and into a job as a pilot.

I think Spidermans missed calling is in pest control, he’d be a veritable Pied Piper for unwanted spiders, and way more effective than ultrasound/RF/electricity in repelling anything that spiders prey on.

Spider-Man: Security tester.

Batman, since he’s always prepared, would be a scoutmaster.

Wonder Woman, magic lasso, cattle herder.

The Hulk, spandex tester.

Mon-El, lead paint inspector.

Aquaman would make a heck of a commercial fisherman.

The Invisible Woman : Journalism. Or paparazzi. Invisibility would let her get great shots & recordings.

Wonder Man worked as a stuntman, and at least once as a living dummy for body armor testing IIRC.

Superman : Diamond manufacturing.

Storm : Weather control is directly applicable for things like farming. Or guaranteeing good weather for sporting events, say. And then when she’s wealthy she can stomp some of the X-Men’s enemies economically.

Aquaman could just bring up sunken treasure.

Hawkman would have a hard time getting a job, since he really doesn’t have any special powers.

Cyclops could do materials testing.

And Firestorm, of course, could write his own check.

Power Girl–demolition site recycling. That woman can lift and separate anything!

Matter-Eater Lad could make a fortune in demolition, mining, waste disposal…

Superman – X-ray vision, super-hearing, ability to recognize lies by listening to speakers heartbeat/respiration – seems like he’d have a real advantage as a reporter. Which he is (or Clark Kent is).

Howard the Duck: insurance sales or claims adjuster.

But then he would be asking his undersea “friends” to go to their deaths to be eaten.

Nightwing could go back to his roots and be a circus performer.

Olympic coach. “Bend, and twist and flying moon kick and somersault and judo chop and down!” But, Mr. Grayson, who are we kicking?" “Doesn’t matter. That’s how I learned it, so that’s how you’re gonna learn it!”