So I’m trying to add a new feature into the web site of my primary client. This feature OF COURSE needs to be in yesterday, it’s a MAJOR FUCKING PROBLEM if they can’t sell this feature NOW NOW NOW.
The code is done as of last week. All I need now is for them to put three fucking permissions into their management console, which of course they can’t just let me do, it has to be done by managers, not us lowly code monkeys.
Friday AM: I send out an email to the powers that be, stating the 3 permissions that need to be added.
Monday AM: We have our weekly meeting. Powers that be (PTB from now on) claim they never got email. I forward it again, and copy my direct boss because he tends to get things done.
Tuesday PM: direct boss sends out email saying he’s testing this new feature. “Hey boss”, I reply to him, “feature doesn’t work because I need the goddamn goat felching permissions added!”
Wednesday AM: I get an IM telling me that PTB have added a permission. ONE permission. WTF? Also get email stating that this features is being tested RIGHT NOW. I drop everything I’m doing and test the feature, and confirm that yes, one permission has been added, allowing us to get 4 more lines down before it blows up because the next permission, which was spelled out in two emails and verbally requested during the meeting, has not been added.
What is it with people? How many emails, phone conversations, and IMs does it take to get 3 fucking permissions added? What goes through people’s heads? They’re told they need 3 permissions, they have emails stating what the permissions are, they go through the trouble of adding ONE of them, but not the other two?!?
I’m mystified. I swear to God, there must be something in the air at these large organizations that makes people completely unable to function at a normal human level. It’s the same with the organization Mr. Athena works for - almost eerily the same. I don’t think I know one person who works at a company with more than 100 employees who is able to comprehend an email that has more than one question/request in it. Really, it’s my own fucking fault - I tried to put THREE permissions requests into ONE email. I should have sent 3 emails, each with one request. And maybe a tracking number.
At least I’m getting paid for all the time they waste. Fucking annoying, but profitable.
I have come to realize that one of my greatest assets as an employee is when asked to do something, I actually do it.
My suggestion would be, make it ONE person’s problem (besides yours). Get a “yes I will do that” from ONE ptb and make sure everyone knows it. The more people you send an email to the less likely that one of them will actually do it. Probably the ptb who did the one permission figured he had done his part and was off the hook now, and everyone else assumed someone else would do it.
There is definitely one PTB whose responsibility it is; I only mention the others because this company is like a gaggle of college age women at a bar; if one goes to the shitter, they all go. If I put one PTB on an email, I gotta put 'em all.
I hear you sister. We get this shit from our clients all the time. We toss the ball into their court and it sits there until it’s near too late, then we drop everything to clean up their mess.
Right now I have a client that’s been bugging us to get his online store finished. I just did NOT have time to get it done before Christmas, which is the arbitrary date he wanted it done. But I set up the admin account for him and said “ok bro, get all your products in there and I’ll get the site done.” So I busted my ass big time before and after Christmas, trying to get it done by New Year’s Day. I worked extra hours. Still couldn’t get it done but it was close.
But that’s ok, because I looked at his account. He’s put up 0 products since the week before Christmas. Products he was pushing me to be able to sell by Christmas. Three weeks later, not a one.
Fuck that guy. I finished his site a little more slowly, got it done yesterday, and told him I won’t be touching it again for testing until he gets products up.
Oh and part of the reason this project got pushed back was because our Most Bureaucratic Client had an issue that needed to be addressed RIGHT NOW so I stopped everything I was doing (before Christmas) and worked late and got it done RIGHT NOW and sent them the scripts to put on their server. That was four weeks ago. It’s not up yet.
{Raises hand sheepishly} I was supposed to fix two cheques in an email, and I only fixed the first one because I didn’t notice the second one. I’m a fairly bright, competent person, too. If you want three permissions, I suggest you DO send three emails. You shouldn’t have to (and I should have seen the second page of the attachment of cheques), but there’s what should be, and there’s what is. Chances are, I fixed the first one, got distracted by one of the 300 things I’m supposed to do every day, and just plain missed the second one.
One of our customers hired a contractor to install a cabinet in our data center. They flew the guy in from halfway across the country. Only thing is, they neglected to inform us of their plan. They didn’t submit a request for power or the removal of equipment that we had already installed for them. So, the contractor turned around and flew back home. He said that he got paid no matter what, and “Embassy Suites has a nice breakfast!”
An update: It’s been a week, and despite my many emails, the permissions are STILL NOT THERE.
I just had pretty much the same conversation with a boss that I had last week. “Athena! Does <feature x> work in the new code base yet?” “No, dude, I’m still waiting on THREE FUCKING PERMISSIONS to get adding to the management console that I could have added in my sleep, standing on my head, with a chainsaw up my ASS, it’s THAT EASY.”
Ok, maybe I didn’t say that. Anyone wanna bet when my permissions get added? It’s about 3 weeks til we go live with this version of the code. I’m guessing they’ll add the permissions at 2am the night we go live, and call me because none of it works.
Maybe you didn’t use the new cover sheet for the permission request TPS. We got a new cover sheet for the permission request TPS you know. Let me just go ahead and send you a copy of the new cover sheet to use on the permission request TPS.
You can sleep with a chainsaw up your ass? Impressive!
I have to say I’m glad that so far everyone I work with has been cheerful, competent and willing to work. I know, it’s a miracle. I hear horror stories about clients, and eventually I suppose I must find out what they’re like, but working on in-house projects in a small firm does have its benefits. I feel your pain, though. Adding permissions isn’t interplanetary studies.
