I get mail for Mom who died in 2011. I get phone calls from collection agencies for my brother who died in 2013. The worst? I get phone calls from collection agencies for my ex husband’s DEAD WIFE. You can only laugh.
Yeah, I think it’s more this. Personally I get junk mail for my still living father and mother who have never lived at my address, nor have ever lived with me. It just goes straight into the recycling like 90% of my mail. No big deal. Like why should I give a shit? I understand others do, but, well, I don’t have that kind of energy.
And you’re right back to telling folks they’re wrong and should do things your way.
I wouldn’t like stuff for my still living parent at my address, but that’s a whole different ballgame from getting stuff for a dead parent. That can be very emotionally upsetting.
Also it is extremely disrespectful and frustrating for agencies to keep sending crap after you told them not to. Especially agencies that are badgering you to give them something (or seeking to take advantage of the elderly), and I think there should be legal recourse for that (that the victim doesn’t have to jump through unreasonable hoops for and that actually costs the offender more than they profit from behavior). And I think it’s perfectly reasonable for people to be upset when they are being intentionally disrespected.
They asked for specific advice. I explained why, in my opinion, there wasn’t a way for what they wanted to be done. Thus far, no one has come up with a way either. If there was a way to get real revenge against the actual perpetrators, I would be all for it.
Yeah, glitter etc only annoys some poor minimum wage schlub.
However returning the postpaid envelopes empty does cost the GOP, etc some small amount, so it is something.
I agree with this. Returning the envelope empty will cost them a few cents and is low effort. You might be able to ding them for five bucks a year.
When my job, about 15 years ago, involved some amount of bulk mailing (not recipient-named), I learned that the postage on business reply mail (the envelopes with the big black bars on the right) ran something like $2.60 per piece returned (it is probably more now), so you will be costing them a fair bit more than “a few cents”.
This cite from the post office says that there is a yearly fee of $160/year to be in the program which is the same no matter how much mail is returned. For “high volume” it’s between 36.6 and 50 cents per return on top of that.
A few other ideas riffing off the $.03 check idea,
They also sell fake blank checks for kids, which you could add whatever value you want to, since they don’t have a routing number.
Also if you do go the small denomination real check route, you could make the check out to Nancy Peloci or NARL, just to make sure that they don’t actully get your money.
Which is basically the same price range as first class postage for individual or for large bulk mailers.
Right. So I was off a bit. You could probably ding them for $50/year, not $5 as I initially assumed
My mom died over 20 years ago and I still get solicitor phone calls for her.
For some reason, they assume I’m my mom and launch into their spiel.
I listen and then say, “No thank you. And by the way, Joan is DEAD!” They never
call again.
My mom was still getting Reader’s Digest junk mail for my dad, years, YEARS after his death. Granted, he was a sucker (customer) of theirs.
Finally she managed to get a phone number for an actual human being, and (being a Monty Python fan, gave them the whole shebang in one big breath without letting them get a word in edgewise:
He’s not pining! He’s passed on! He is no more!
He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! ’
He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, He rests in peace! He’s pushing up the daisies!
His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig!
He’s kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!
THIS IS AN EX-CUSTOMER!!
“Thank you M’am, we’ll cancel this account”
FatherColossus has a better cadence but I legit lol’d.
“stop having those feelings” or “just grin and bear it?”
I really appreciate folk such as you chiming in, because it’s enough navigating fairly fresh grief (I’m not close to done processing) and tidying up legitimate estate business without the aggressive bombardment of solicitors.
I got married 2 months after dad died (couldn’t cancel, but did postpone the honeymoon for a year). That honeymoon was earlier this month–it was as well cancelled due to covid, bad luck, a dental issue, etc–but resolved itself in time for me to get away and do the honeymoon.
It’s the first trip I’ve ever taken in my adult life where I have no one to check in with. It’s a very special kind of LONELINESS because my folks would have wanted to hear about making over the snowy mountain pass or across the badlands of Utah where there are no towns, exits, gas, or stops.
I didn’t expect that to wallop me how it did: no folks to check in with. Or to send pretty pics to. Or text.
I hit the wall and bawled like a child first night in Yosemite.
“THIS BEAUTY IS OVERWHELMING AND I JUST WANT TO TELL MY DAD WE MADE IT HERE SAFE.”
So yeah, since dead dad gets more mail than anyone else in the house–constant reminder.
THANK YOU.
I’m going to do these things:
RNC/DJT: I’m going to mix it up and send “dude’s dead, fuck off” notes with glitter, or just general insults or crude drawings? Dunno, we’ll see what feels good.
Wasting their time, slowing them down, costing them small money–all that’s great for me.
I REALLY love the idea of sending DJT the Salvation Army check, or writing worth-while sums on bogus checks with wrong routing numbers.
Or printed fake Donnie Dollars, anything legit looking enough to seem real for at least one second.
I got a little stack I’m going to make work of this week while covering the shop 
I’ll get paid to do it!
My late, liberal dad loved trolling Republican fund raisers. He’d send in the money envelope but “forget” to include the check. When they’d call him to let him know, he’d pretend to get upset that they “lost” his check or were trying to cheat an old man out of his limited income. It was one of his perverse pleasures.
If Republican mail for him ever came to my home, it would cheer me up immensely. Different situation than the OP, of course. You have my condolences.
Oh, that gave me an idea!
Fill out the form that accompanies the donation. Do you know an avid Trump supporter that annoys you? Use their name and phone number. Or use the name and office number of a local Republican politician, or even a national one you dislike.The form might ask how much you are donating. Be very generous.
“Forget” to enclose the check.
I’m pretty sure someone will make calls to tell your favorite Trump supporter or politician that they forgot to send Trump a check. Confusion and possibly hilarity will ensue - even if you won’t be there to see it?..…and you’ll waste a lot of their time and it’s low effort.
Years ago, I ordered something from the Reader’s Digest empire (not the magazine or a condensed book; I don’t remember remember what it was) and while I did get the item, I also started to receive several pieces of junk mail EVERY DAY from the organization. After a few weeks, I wrote “DECEASED” on it and sent it back. I half-expected some fairly dire consequences, but the only thing was that the junk mailings stopped within about a week.
This is what really hits home, isn’t it? I was exactly the same on my first big trip after losing my mum in 2020. I always prepared a daily schedule so she knew which hotel I’d be in, where we were travelling to, what we hoped to see. I would send her a message to let her know we’d arrived in various places, and email her pics during the trip.
Much as I enjoyed that particular trip, it became a bittersweet experience simply because she wasn’t there to hear about it and share the wonder of scenery. I could deal with clearing out her flat, getting rid of the “stuff” she’d accumulated, stopping subscriptions etc. But that was the one thing I couldn’t do without bawling like a small child.
I must admit I didn’t get junk mail in her name at my house, and having handed the keys to her flat back to the local council, whatever mail is delivered there is not my problem. Personally, I don’t think I would be so bothered about just dumping the junk mail in the recycling bin, but you need to deal with it in whatever way you feel is appropriate. If it makes you feel better, then it’s achieving something for you.
Can you return the favor and make small donations in their name (with their address) to organizations such as Planned Parenthood, some LGBT alliance group, etc., or go the other way with it and sign them up for information from groups like NAMBLA?
After living with my gf for a year or so, her ex was still getting more mail than I was. We had no forwarding address and my gf had no reason to be nice to the guy, so I began writing letters back to companies explaining that Steve had passed on and his widow was saddened by mail to him.
It worked to a certain degree. There was one charity, however, that Steve had supported as did his parents. My gf heard through the grapevine that her ex-in-laws were surprised to get a condolence card about the loss of their son.