Dealing with the "Jovial Dick"

[Chimera]

@msmith537

What it sounds like is that he doesn’t take his job particularly seriously and you take it excessive seriously.

Not even close, you’re way off base. I joke around a lot more than him. He simply presents himself as this very friendly guy, but he’s exceedingly clueless.

He wasn’t “joking around” except perhaps somewhere in his feeble brain. He was being a dick, trying to teach me a lesson in responding to him (trying to get me to say hello), ignoring my direct physical indications that I couldn’t do it at that time.

And like I said, this is twice now that he’s talked to me as if I was a little child, in front of others, trying to teach me a lesson in manners, while being completely oblivious to his own rude and disrespectful behavior.

@MadPansy64 and others

Yo, dumbass, I’m working here. Ya oughta try it sometime. Hush up and go away NOW!"

I’d be heavily inclined to swear at him if a> the entire reason I hadn’t been verbally responding was because it’d be rude to others to do it, and b> I didn’t have multiple other co-workers on the phone with customers less than 10 feet away. Last thing I want to do is get fired because I yelled “motherfucker” at someone and it was heard by a dozen customers.

@Across

“JD, Daddy’s busy right now, but I promise I’ll come and look at your finger painting as soon as I can, k?”

I love this, and I think I’ll try this option. If he’s going to give me this “talking like I’m instructing a small child” bullshit, I should respond in kind, turning it around to point out how he’s being disrespectful of myself and my customer.

@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed

Sure, he could be clueless without an asperger’s diagnosis, but you would treat the situation much the same. I just wanted to put out the reminder that some people actually do not understand social cues, and that it’s because their brains are wired differently.

Like I said, this guy is the poster child for cluelessness.

The first week of training, he went to lunch with me every day because he doesn’t have a driver’s license (DUI). Every freaking place we go, from Arby’s to Taco Bell, he’s got to spend 5 minutes or more asking about the menu, what’s in things, what comes with the meal, etc. I mean, the guy is 47. How the fuck do you not already know these things? I think it’s just hard wired into him to do this sort of thng. But then he’d end up ordering something special made and by the time he got it and sat down, I (and a few days, the other guy who went with us) would be almost done eating. Then he’d be mystified. How come his meal was so expensive? How come it took so long to get it? (hint: shut up and order) How come you guys are almost done already?

At freaking Taco Bell, he did this to point where his order came to over $8. AT TACO BELL. Then he was confused as to how and why he had so much food. :rolleyes: Repeat at Leann Chin - where he couldn’t order what was available in front of him, he had to place a special order, then was both confused and angry as to why it cost so much more than what I ordered and wasn’t ready immediately.

See also this thread.

Yeah, the more I think about it, Across is right. If he’s going to act as if I’m a small child that he’s teaching lessons to, then I need to respond in the same tone, showing him what he’s actually doing.

In Incident 1, that’d have been (slow deliberate ‘to a small child’ voice): “R…the instructor is teaching us now. Please be quiet and stop interrupting him.”

In this last one, it’d have been: “R…I’m listening to a customer and can’t play games with you right now. Please go away. The adults are busy now.”

[bufftabby]

Next time R is talking when he should not be, either hold your hand up (“stop!”) or hold your finger to your lips (“quiet!”). Even my dog understands the first one.

[Influential_Panda]

Surrogates.

Have friendly co-workers you can vent to? If you can get two or three on your side that you suspect will tell Joe “hey man, Chimera’s really having a hard time getting to you” then you’re golden. The right tone to strike is exasperated but full of respect. Trust me, it will translate. Not to say this will work every time, but it worked for me in turning a clueless Jovial Dick acquaintance into a friend.

[Chimera]

@bufftabby

Next time R is talking when he should not be, either hold your hand up (“stop!”) or hold your finger to your lips (“quiet!”). Even my dog understands the first one.

Most people grasp non-verbal communication. Pointing to the instructor, frowning and turning away from the person. Pointing to the headset and the computer, frowning and turning away from the person. Nodding as a means of acknowledgement.

R is too clueless and intent on his “lesson”.

So it seems he’s in need of the lessons.

[Captain_Carrot]

Punch him in the groin.

[Rigamarole]

Dunno, the more you describe him the more I’m inclined to go with the “he’s mentally challenged in some way” hypothesis. I don’t have much patience for people like that, but I’m cruel enough I’d take whatever opportunities I could to ridicule him in hopes he’d get the not-at-all-subtle hint that I don’t like him.

[Siege]

@aruvqan

do what i did, i printed out a sign that said

Excuse me, I am on the phone. When I am off the phone I will be able to speak with you, but if it is seriously important, email me and i will read it immediately.

Then next time he does this, hold it up and point at it.

I really like this suggestion. It let you give him the acknowledgement he wants without interupting your work. If he is genuinely a bit slow on the uptake, it’s a gentle way of setting some limits without being rude. If he’s a jerk, it may get him to take it to the next level and demonstrate to more people that he’s a jerk.

[Ca3799]

" Every freaking place we go, from Arby’s to Taco Bell, he’s got to spend 5 minutes or more asking about the menu, what’s in things, what comes with the meal, etc. I mean, the guy is 47. How the fuck do you not already know these things?"

Gah, we have one of these at work, also! If we are going to get together on an order these days, and she is at work that day, I pass. I just can’t take it.

[Sigmagirl]

I had one of those where I used to work. I used this:

Say to the customer, “Excuse me, I’m sorry, but there seems to be an emergency. Someone needs to speak to me urgently. Can I put you on hold for a second?” Turn around and give him the stare of death and ask, “What is the emergency?” When he says there is none, say loudly, *“You had me put my important customer on hold just because you wanted to chat?” *Turn around and get the customer back and apologize, saying it was a false alarm. Go back to work.

This may have to happen two or three times.

[jali]

We’re working - we get busy. Small talk is for quiet times. Our *happiness girl *(who is really an evil bitch) actually pouts if you put her off because you need to do something.

Staring intently at your computer screen won’t put her off - if there’s a Friday deadline and it’s 10 to 4, she’ll stop by to ask what you’re doing for the weekend and she’ll stand there watching you trying to get work out, waiting for an amusing and interesting answer.

There is a collection of holiday cards from different companies and individuals we’ve done business with over the years that I opened and stuck them on a credenza (I’ve been educated by the design group) across from my desk (the reception area).

My boss asked me to send out an email to get a few suggestions about displaying the cards with a little flair. I work for an architectural firm so display is really important.

She (as usual) eavesdropped and came racing out to offer her suggestions. The boss politely listened, pointedly reminded me to send the email (she didn’t get the hint) then got away, leaving me to discuss the display with miss friendly.

Every morning since that conversation last week, she has asked me, “when are you going to do something about the cards?” as though this were the most pressing issue for the firm at this moment.

In case you don’t understand:
Monday - “when are you going to do something about the cards?”
Tuesday- “when are you going to do something about the cards?”
Wednesday - “when are you going to do something about the cards?”
Thursday - “when are you going to do something about the cards?”
Friday - “when are you going to do something about the cards?”
This morning - “when are you going to do something about the cards?”

I explained EVERY SINGLE DAY LAST WEEK that the decision wasn’t up to me and that our boss will decide what to do. I explained the same thing this morning and she responded by saying that she’d be willing to put up the display if I would just tell her which one had been chosen.

I swear, there may be holiday cards shoved up her ass if she doesn’t leave me alone.

[KneadToKnow]

@jali

This morning - “when are you going to do something about the cards?”

“I’ll squeeze it in between burying you in a shallow grave and the inevitable standoff.”

[Ethilrist]

@Sigmagirl

I had one of those where I used to work. I used this:

Say to the customer, “Excuse me, I’m sorry, but there seems to be an emergency. Someone needs to speak to me urgently. Can I put you on hold for a second?” Turn around and give him the stare of death and ask, “What is the emergency?” When he says there is none, say loudly, *“You had me put my important customer on hold just because you wanted to chat?” *Turn around and get the customer back and apologize, saying it was a false alarm. Go back to work.

This may have to happen two or three times.

This.

Coupled with, dredge through the insurmountable piles of HR crap you’ve got flooding your inbox about how the Customer is our First Priority and Service and Quality and Attentiveness and all that stuff. Just guessing that that email is there but I think it’s a good guess.

Find some tasty excerpts, print them out, and thumbtack them to his forehead.

[jali]

@KneadToKnow

“I’ll squeeze it in between burying you in a shallow grave and the inevitable standoff.”

I soooo wish…

[Chimera]

@jali

I swear, there may be holiday cards shoved up her ass if she doesn’t leave me alone.

I once demonstrated to a co-worker how I could kill him with a single sheet of paper before he could move. Obviously he didn’t believe me.

I grabbed the paper firmly in two corners so that one long side was taunt. Then I lept out of my chair, made a slashing motion along the front/side of his neck with the paper and sat down. He was just reacting as my butt was hitting my chair. His eyes went wide. I said “Sure, it wouldn’t kill you instantly, but you’d probably bleed to death before the ambulance got here.”

You could probably to the same with some of those cards.

[Cat_Whisperer]

From your descriptions of his behaviour, he truly sounds like a mentally handicapped person. Maybe that would be your best way to treat him - like he is mentally handicapped. If he is, good for you; if he isn’t, it will be funny for you. Win/win.

[Cat_Whisperer]

jali, I think you need to scare Miss Friendly - take her to a quiet corner, get really close to her, get right in her face, put on your biggest, friendliest grin, and tell her, “I am working on it. It is not your business. Leave it alone.” The disparity between your aggressive body language and words and the big, happy smile on your face should throw her right off balance - it disturbs people when your words and body language don’t match.

[Green_Bean]

I just read your other thread about him, in which you said:

@Chimera

Fortunately for me, we’re now done with training and I don’t have to deal with this man anymore. Now we’re on different shifts, which only overlap a couple of hours three days a week, and he’s on a different team which is some distance from mine.

Ah, well, I guess you spoke too soon.

The guy really does sound like he has some sort of mental problem. Or maybe he’s just a douchebag.

@Sigmagirl

I had one of those where I used to work. I used this:

Say to the customer, “Excuse me, I’m sorry, but there seems to be an emergency. Someone needs to speak to me urgently. Can I put you on hold for a second?” Turn around and give him the stare of death and ask, “What is the emergency?” When he says there is none, say loudly, *“You had me put my important customer on hold just because you wanted to chat?” *Turn around and get the customer back and apologize, saying it was a false alarm. Go back to work.

This may have to happen two or three times.

This is very similar to what I was going to suggest.

It has the twin advantages of covering your ass and giving you a concrete item to complain about, should it come to that. You can’t really complain that he’s just being annoying. You can say that he asked to speak to you while you were on a call, and you had to put the customer on hold. And it covers your ass just in case he really does need to get your attention while you’re on a call at some point. If you ignore him and it really WAS important, then you’re the one who did something wrong.

Do they monitor your calls or how often you put a customer on hold?

[Sigmagirl]

Well, my idea does have the disadvantage of having to put the customer on hold, which is not the customer’s fault. But that is a short-term downside that can pay off.

And when you come back to the customer, you should act all relieved that nothing was wrong after all; if the customer asks, just say, “It was nothing – Gee, you would have thought the building was burning down! ::snicker:: Now, where were we?” This tends to put you in cahoots with the customer, who will now not complain that he was put on hold.

[jali]

@Chimera

I once demonstrated to a co-worker how I could kill him with a single sheet of paper before he could move. Obviously he didn’t believe me.

I grabbed the paper firmly in two corners so that one long side was taunt. Then I lept out of my chair, made a slashing motion along the front/side of his neck with the paper and sat down. He was just reacting as my butt was hitting my chair. His eyes went wide. I said “Sure, it wouldn’t kill you instantly, but you’d probably bleed to death before the ambulance got here.”

You could probably to the same with some of those cards.

Every day another good reason to visit The Dope.

[jali]

@featherlou

jali, I think you need to scare Miss Friendly - take her to a quiet corner, get really close to her, get right in her face, put on your biggest, friendliest grin, and tell her, “I am working on it. It is not your business. Leave it alone.” The disparity between your aggressive body language and words and the big, happy smile on your face should throw her right off balance - it disturbs people when your words and body language don’t match.

If I could actually do this…

I talk much crap here, but I’m the original punk.