I have a 93 year old aunt that has a license and a car. And a desire to drive.
What she doesn’t have is keys. Thanks to her family, the car keys are not kept at her house.
Doesn’t bother my aunt much. While she is off looking for keys that she forgot she doesn’t have, she forgets that she wanted to drive somewhere.
No problem, as long as every asshole of any age who buys a pickup has to do the same on an annual basis. It seems like 90% of the problem drivers on the road are driving pickups and acting like total dickwads.
Here’s how older people park.
Why is it that the older people get the *more *powerful cars they buy? Look buddy, perhaps you wouldn’t be braking all the way down this dead flat street if you didn’t drive a V54-million huge-ass car. You are over-powered for your comfort level. Please switch to a Yugo today.
I say, you hit 60? You get four cylinders, max.
I love that the description pointed out the sex of the driver.
Regarding older people and overpowered cars: it seems like a waste to equip Buicks with fairly powerful V6 and v8 engines as standard, when the average Buick owner is approaching the three digit range. Do Buick owners ever use a tenth of the power under the hood? Might as well equip them with Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engines; that’s more than enough to get a Buick up to maximum old person driver speed. Probably more than enough torque and acceleration power, too.
There are both a ladies’ hair salon and barber shop in the same block as my business that seem to cater mostly to an over 80 crowd. I see a lot of Buicks up on the curb. I’ve witnessed heart stopping ill-advised U turns. About once a month I call my mom (who turns 64 this month, and still drives just fine) and remind her she has promised not to give us any trouble when it’s time to relinquish her keys.
When I went to get a new license in California I waited on a very long line a few folks behind a woman I estimated was in her 50s. When she got to the front she waved over another woman who turned out to be her grandmother. She came over from the sitting area using her two canes. Her glasses were cartoonishly thick. She failed the big E eye test miserably, so they gave her the other eye test which is a pattern of four squares and all she had to do was say if the gigantic X was in the top left, top right, lower…you get it. She couldn’t. End of the line for Grandma? No. The clerk said “I can’t renew your license today, but if you can bring a note from an optometrist that says you can drive we can renew it then.” The guy in front of my ran commentary the whole time. “What?” “Are you kidding me?” “I’ll tear up her card right now!”
It’s all very well for you young upstarts to tell us old geezers to run our cars with lawn-mover engines, but you’ll be the first to complain when we drive down one-lane roads at 20 mph below the speed limit.
The big problem in the US is that many older people have no alternative to driving a car if they are going to get out of the house to go shopping, visit friends, etc., since there’s no public transport that they can use, and it’s hard to rely on friends and relatives to drive you everywhere.
So she pissed you off and you call her “whore”. For some reason, that doesn’t sit well with me, although I’m usually fairly easygoing about such matters.
Perhaps it is because the term is too useful to be diluted into an all-purpose insult. I think it should be reserved for those who literally or metaphorically whore themselves out, whether it be an actual practitioner of the Oldest Profession , a cheating girlfriend, or a headline-chasing politician. Or, perhaps, Inara Serra.
Eventually my father had to take a part out of my grandfather’s car so the engine wouldn’t start.
Starter?
In two months I’ll be 80 YO, and I fully second the idea that everyone over 70 should be retested on an annual basis. And this retest should include some actual freeway time, not just creeping carefully along a city street.
I HATE those old farts driving at the speed limit in the fast lane! Slowpokes!!! Drives me crazzzy.
When I saw the thread title I thought you were pitting Elvira. I was afraid I was going have to open up a jumbo-sized can o’ whupass on you. But it’s all good—carry on. (Or is it spelled ‘whoopass’? A Googlin’ I shall go, a Gogglin’ I shall go…)
My grandfather was still driving well into his 80s. I have fond memories of myself riding shotgun, clutching the door handle and screaming with my knees pulled defensively to my chest and one arm flung over my eyes as Grandpa barrelled down residential streets at 70 mph with his morbidly obese chihuahua shivering on the seat between us and Conway Twitty blaring from the tape deck. Miraculously, he never had a serious accident. Just minor ones. I suggested to my mother several times that perhaps we should take his keys away, but he died before she could work up the nerve to confront him about it.
Grandma, on the other hand, stopped driving long before I was born. I understand she gave it up the day she drove the car through the back wall of the garage.
My grandpa just turned 81 yesterday. He still drives very well, but knows his limits. For instance, he does not drive on the expressway and rarely after dark. My grandma, 80, quit driving earlier for good reason, too. She was having fainting spells THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL US ABOUT until we found out when she fell and cut her skull open. Still, though, she knew better than to continue driving when she just wasn’t able to. Of course, I have THE coolest grandparents in the world. Others just tend to pale by comparison. 
I use ‘whup-ass’.
Would it help if you knew she flashed her spooje-smeared titties at Harmonious Discord? Because that’s what I heard.
I can not verify the state of her titties as only her head was higher than the dash. What I could see was the coiffed white hair and blood red lips. Once I was past her all I could see was her moving car.
Well, I don’t have enough hair to comb or drink, but I am firmly in the demographic group of those folks who should be required to take actual driving tests. Many of us would do fine, but many of us would be revealed as dangerous to the public. Not only does vision and reaction time fade, but physical abilities important to driving decrease.
I hope someone will take me aside and have a discussion if and when my driving skills are not adequate.
Yah…that’s what my mom use to say about me…a danger to the public.
Psst…I think you mean “coifed”.
SOME people like Madonna