Dear Cecil:
I have recently acquired a 767 and a very large conveyor belt. My question is this: Does 0.99999etc. = 1?
Dear Cecil:
If you were to open your own store and sold various calcium carbonate encasings of mollusks, what would you call it?
Dear Cecil,
I got my penis stuck in my DVD player.
Don’t ask me how.
Halp!
~ I’m obviously doing it wrong.
Dear Cecil,
According to our records, your annual subscription to Squirrels Monthly will expire on November 30th, 2007. If you wish to continue with uninterrupted delivery, we encourage you to re-subscribe using the attached form and submit it prior to this date using the included, postage-paid envelope. As an added bonus, if you re-subscribe before October 31st, 2007, you will automatically be enrolled in the Stoat of the Month Club free of charge! As a member, your subscription will include a personalized photo of that month’s cutest squirrel, hand-picked from subscriber-submitted photos, along with the option to order merchandise such as T-Shirts, hat, mugs, magnets, wallet-sized pictures, address labels, full-size posters, business cards and more with that month’s image imprinted on it. Additionally, you may submit your own candidates for the next Stoat of the Month! Just send us your pictures of squirrels either in the wild doing cute things, or posed and/or dressed up in cute ways and your image will considered by our panel of judges for the next Stoat of the Month. If your picture is selected, we will send you a voucher good for a free dinner for you and your squirrel at the restaurant of your choice! Plus, as an existing subscriber, you will receive an additional 20% off the normal subscription rate of $49.95! Don’t delay, re-subscribe now and receive the full benefits of continued membership to Squirrels Monthly and the Stoat of the Month Club!
Sincerely,
Robert J. Scuriolus
Collective Nuts Media, Ltd.
Dere Cecil:
Cecilcecil bobecil, bananafana fofecil, memymomecil, cecil. So whadya think?
Yours,
Fixated
Dear Cecil
Is it true what they say about Dixie
Dear Cecil,
When’s the commemorative statue being put up?