Dorky Things Your Date/SO Has Said To Try to Seduce You

I’ll begin.

Last night, during a particularly romantic moment, my husband leered,

‘‘I move that your pants be stricken from the record.’’


I still maintain that this is the very best example I have ever heard in this regard:

A woman was sitting on the couch in the dorm room of a rather unusual acquaintance, watching a movie. He turned to her, pants askew, and with an utterly earnest and nervous expression asked,

‘‘Would you like to touch Mr. Pickle?’’

It took every shred of her decency not to burst into hysterical laughter.

All right, your turn.

I remember the Mr. Pickle story! That’s got to be the all time winner. :slight_smile:

One time, a guy was hitting on me. Noticing that I was wearing a Pink Floyd T-shirt, he told me a long, involved story about how he actually met Pink Floyd and shook his hand. (I know, it doesn’t quite fit the thread but it’s all I can come up with right now).

“Buy you a game of Pac-Man, baby?”

“You’re clothes and my clothes would look great piled on my bedroom floor.”

but sweetheart, how can i love you if you won’t lie down?

“Don’t make love to my body. Make love to my brain.”

No, I was not about to pull out one of her eyeballs, thank you.

Too funny! (I for one know that Pink Floyd doesn’t like to shake hands. He’s more into fisting.)

If this thread can include miserably failed pickups, I’ve got one.

“Hey, hot mama, you so hot! OK, just ignore me! Bitch! You are a stupid fucking bitch! Go to hell, bitch!” This went on for about 15 minutes. Over a distance of maybe 150 feet.

“Come on! I’ll buy you ice cream!”

It worked, too.

Meh…not impressed…I met Jethro Tull,he’s neat.

Hmm, apparently none of my ex-girlfriends are around here. That’s a relief!
I expect my wife to be along shortly, however.

All this time I thought you were a guy…?

You’re OLD

tdn is The Man!

I am. I was just a witness to that unfortunate event.

Dung Beetle, wanna pet my ice cream? I’ll buy you a pickle. And I’ve met Jethro Floyd.

I once played bridge with Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and Lynard Skynard. Lynard is terrible.
Since I’m a guy there is no such thing as something dorky someone has said to try and seduce me.

Went on a date with a guy to see “Man with The Golden Gun.” Afterwards, we were necking on the couch at my parent’s house, and he whispered seductively (so he thought, anyway) to me, “I want to put my golden gun in your golden cove!”

And, yes, I burst out laughing.

:eek: I believe your response was rational an appropriate. But I do love summer, when all the guns come sailing into the cove.

I once had a girl tell me that she wanted my seeds.

That’s good enough for me!

At least he didn’t turn to you, pants askew, and with an utterly earnest and nervous expression ask,

‘‘Would you like to touch Pink Floyd?’’

My wife has a tendency to quote Buffy the Vampire Slayer at me when she’s in the mood.

*Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or… well, actually there’s just the hard way. *

Eww! It’s Simply Red!